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We had our first serious fight and i don`t know why but i`m feeling like crap. I`m not use to speak about my feeling or to post it on forums, but today i`m feeling really sad....
We argued about something stupid, in fact he got mad because i wasn`t talking to him. And he asked me several times to do it, to say whatever crosses my mind but i just couldn`t... I needed to be alone.
This is not the first when happens this but now he really is upset. Please don`t judge me cos i`m not in the mood for critics , I just felt the need to post it....
We had our first serious fight and i don`t know why but i`m feeling like crap. I`m not use to speak about my feeling or to post it on forums, but today i`m feeling really sad....
We argued about something stupid, in fact he got mad because i wasn`t talking to him. And he asked me several times to do it, to say whatever crosses my mind but i just couldn`t... I needed to be alone.
This is not the first when happens this but now he really is upset. Please don`t judge me cos i`m not in the mood for critics , I just felt the need to post it....
Stiff upper lip, now. The first real fight feels terrible, but you'll survive it. You both will.
If you feel you spoke out of turn, or were horrible, then of course, apologise for it.
Then, sit him down, and simply explain to him how he should handle you if a similar situation arises.
My fiancee is a talker, and a problem solver, she prefers to sort things out there and then, whereas I prefer to brood on things for a while, then either talk things out later, or simply move on.
Fighting is an inevitable part of getting to know each other. As the old saying goes, "if you can't handle me at my worst, then you don't deserve me at my best."
he sounds like a SAP and you need to find a REAL MAN
Wow, seriously, this is your advice? It was a fight, mabye first of many or few. It happens sense two people can most likely agree on most things, but not everything.
At the OP; fights are really hard to get through, especially the first one and many more will come. You came to the forums to tell us you have a secret, yet care not of what we think; you wish to vent a little and that's truly understandable. However, you have something bottled up right now and there really is only one person you should communicate with. If anything, he will listen to what you have to say, but also respect you for what secrets you wish to keep.
thank you for replying. First of all i don`t have any secret to keep is just he understood me wrong and he was keep asking me to say what was it or if it is correct what he understood but i told him that i`m not in the mood to talk (i`m never in the mood to talk about problems) and I want to be alone. And he got mad and said that he is upset because i never share my feeling with him or not even bother to explain why he understood me wrong.
I really don`t know why is soooo hard for me to share my feelings and why whenever come up problems or when we need to talk I always find excuses not to discuss. I tried to communicate but it was worse because i got mad because he wasn`t understood me and i said that I need to be alone. I don`t know what should i do...
thank you for replying. First of all i don`t have any secret to keep is just he understood me wrong and he was keep asking me to say what was it or if it is correct what he understood but i told him that i`m not in the mood to talk (i`m never in the mood to talk about problems) and I want to be alone. And he got mad and said that he is upset because i never share my feeling with him or not even bother to explain why he understood me wrong.
I really don`t know why is soooo hard for me to share my feelings and why whenever come up problems or when we need to talk I always find excuses not to discuss. I tried to communicate but it was worse because i got mad because he wasn`t understood me and i said that I need to be alone. I don`t know what should i do...
When I said "secrets", I simply meant something you hold on the inside. Many people have this problem and fear what might happen if you released the truth.
This is your first fight, so don't expect him or yourself to go into understanding mode afterward. Believe it or not, though, you need to tell him that it is hard expressing your feelings. You can take baby-steps and it might even hard to do at first. You also have to realize, too, that - is this the person you can confide in; confess to.
I have no idea what you need to do. I hope you feel a little better though, releasing some of it here in the CD forums.
Maybe it's a good time to go and talk to him about your feelings about he fight in a calm and constructive way? You get to vent and tell him your pov and he finally gets some words out of you. Problem solved, hug & kiss him.
thank you for replying. First of all i don`t have any secret to keep is just he understood me wrong and he was keep asking me to say what was it or if it is correct what he understood but i told him that i`m not in the mood to talk (i`m never in the mood to talk about problems) and I want to be alone. And he got mad and said that he is upset because i never share my feeling with him or not even bother to explain why he understood me wrong.
I really don`t know why is soooo hard for me to share my feelings and why whenever come up problems or when we need to talk I always find excuses not to discuss. I tried to communicate but it was worse because i got mad because he wasn`t understood me and i said that I need to be alone. I don`t know what should i do...
Maybe a communication skills class? They do have them here in the States. Not sure about the UK. I wish you luck. Please remember that good relationships require work. Could it be that when you refuse to discuss your feelings with him he thinks that you think a relationship with him isnt worth the hassle to you? PS-------Youre very pretty!
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