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Most women on these websites are "broken goods", lots of losers, honestly, I have never met anyone who I would consider "long term relationship worthy" but it is fun!
I did it for a year + and found the same as you. Most were those 'few extra pounds' types. But I didn't find it fun and that's why I quit. I have better things to do with my time. I couldn't get friends that way because the women weren't looking for friends - they were looking for bfs.
Most women on these websites are "broken goods", lots of losers, honestly, I have never met anyone who I would consider "long term relationship worthy" but it is fun!
This can be said for dating in general (not just online). We're simply not compatible long-term with the majority of people we meet (anywhere), especially when you consider how many divorces there are (among people who initially thought they were).
The point of online dating is simply a numbers game and introduces you to like-minded professionals (or anyone else) who may be dating potential by bringing hundreds of matches to your 'door' to start a conversation, all women you wouldn't normally meet. Sure, there are 'losers' and women who are emotionally damaged (as there are everywhere); but the point being it's not much of a time investment to determine the few you want to ask on a date.
If you can't find any attractive, pretty, interesting, and sincere women online via reputable/verifiable sites, it's you that is doing something wrong. That said, I found the age group between 28-35 or so to have the most single/never married/professional women who matched with me in other ways as well i.e. world view and so on. This is probably due in part to the fact younger people as a whole are more open/more inclined to date online.
I did it for a year + and found the same as you. Most were those 'few extra pounds' types. But I didn't find it fun and that's why I quit. I have better things to do with my time. I couldn't get friends that way because the women weren't looking for friends - they were looking for bfs.
Yeah, and when I see their photos...I think, "A FEW?!" JUST a few?" Typically it's an understatement.
This can be said for dating in general (not just online). We're simply not compatible long-term with the majority of people we meet (anywhere), especially when you consider how many divorces there are (among people who initially thought they were).
That's debate-able, but can be true to a certain extent. It would just allow you access to more of the crazies. lol. Anyways, personally there are a lot of time wasters and vampires I've come to find, and chances are the nut jobs are on the site more so for validation and attention with NO intention of meeting men in person. (ALso heard some men are guilty of just looking for a texting buddy as well).
Quote:
The point of online dating is simply a numbers game and introduces you to like-minded professionals (or anyone else) who may be dating potential by bringing hundreds of matches to your 'door' to start a conversation, all women you wouldn't normally meet.
Yep a numbers game...some to the point where women get sick of dealing with a saturated inbox.
Quote:
Sure, there are 'losers' and women who are emotionally damaged (as there are everywhere); but the point being it's not much of a time investment to determine the few you want to ask on a date.
LIke I said, some are time vampires looking for correspondence and validation (ego boost) and nothing more.
Quote:
If you can't find any attractive, pretty, interesting, and sincere women online via reputable/verifiable sites, it's you that is doing something wrong.
I would say the only thing someone is doing wrong is simply using a dating site to meet people.
Quote:
That said, I found the age group between 28-35 or so to have the most single/never married/professional women who matched with me in other ways as well i.e. world view and so on. This is probably due in part to the fact younger people as a whole are more open/more inclined to date online.
As opposed to meeting organically in person via friends and social gatherings?
This can be said for dating in general (not just online). We're simply not compatible long-term with the majority of people we meet (anywhere), especially when you consider how many divorces there are (among people who initially thought they were).
The point of online dating is simply a numbers game and introduces you to like-minded professionals (or anyone else) who may be dating potential by bringing hundreds of matches to your 'door' to start a conversation, all women you wouldn't normally meet. Sure, there are 'losers' and women who are emotionally damaged (as there are everywhere); but the point being it's not much of a time investment to determine the few you want to ask on a date.
If you can't find any attractive, pretty, interesting, and sincere women online via reputable/verifiable sites, it's you that is doing something wrong. That said, I found the age group between 28-35 or so to have the most single/never married/professional women who matched with me in other ways as well i.e. world view and so on. This is probably due in part to the fact younger people as a whole are more open/more inclined to date online.
For whatever it’s worth I apologize for going off on people yesterday I overreacted..I’ve been going through a tough time lately and I acted poorly.
It’s tough for me to be vulnerable to people and I thought I was finally doing a good job of it in this thread then arguments started happening.
For whatever it’s worth I apologize for going off on people yesterday I overreacted..I’ve been going through a tough time lately and I acted poorly.
It’s tough for me to be vulnerable to people and I thought I was finally doing a good job of it in this thread then arguments started happening.
I didn't participate in all of that or read it all, but I suspect you learned a valuable lesson. Be careful what you say on here because people will roast you and may make you feel even worse. Take it from someone who knows.
JBT, I actually got kind of angry, when I logged on this morning and caught up. Mostly because of this one here:
Quote:
Originally Posted by JBT1980
I really don’t think anyone here really gives a damn wheter I succeed or not.
...which I am perfectly willing to accept was just you speaking from a place of what you were feeling. And I am relieved to hear it. LOL now I don't have to be mad at you.
Because I damn sure would not have spent the amount of time over the years, trying to sincerely explain, with every example I can think of, with desperate efforts to find the right words to convey to you that I believe and live and breathe these truths from the bottom of my freaking heart...that I swear, I promise, there is hope for you and I wish, very much, that you could find your path to happiness. I would do an actual physical happy dance, at least in my chair if not getting up and jumping around this room, if you told us that you realized that the war you are waging inside of yourself is eating you alive, you called a cease fire, you got some help maybe and guess what? You met this girl...
Dude.
We care.
It's not an attack. Not from us.
We *gestures at several of us regulars in the imaginary "room"*...we want to give you hope. It is very telling that this sort of thing feels like an attack to you. Why is hope threatening, and despair comfortable? THAT is the part we're all trying to say, please find a way to work on it. Because as long as you're carrying that emotional gremlin around and letting it call the shots in your head, you could look like the hottest guy ever, and still not have romantic success. LOL attractiveness only gets people to look at you. It doesn't make them love you. You know what else gets people to look at you? Screaming in the street. Doing circus tricks. I mean really. You know damn well that's not all you want. You want, and deserve, to be loved. But love, believe it or not, comes with a lot of vulnerability, honesty, facing things that are hard to hear and deal with. In other words? This. All of this you get here. Which feels like an "attack" to you. Which is what people are trying to explain, if you feel a need to defend yourself against what folks try to tell you here, people who are in fact demonstrating that we care if you live or die, succeed or fail...how you gonna let a woman love you, for real? The challenges of actual love, are far greater than the challenge of simply hearing advice and considering it without a fight.
JBT, I actually got kind of angry, when I logged on this morning and caught up. Mostly because of this one here:
...which I am perfectly willing to accept was just you speaking from a place of what you were feeling. And I am relieved to hear it. LOL now I don't have to be mad at you.
Because I damn sure would not have spent the amount of time over the years, trying to sincerely explain, with every example I can think of, with desperate efforts to find the right words to convey to you that I believe and live and breathe these truths from the bottom of my freaking heart...that I swear, I promise, there is hope for you and I wish, very much, that you could find your path to happiness. I would do an actual physical happy dance, at least in my chair if not getting up and jumping around this room, if you told us that you realized that the war you are waging inside of yourself is eating you alive, you called a cease fire, you got some help maybe and guess what? You met this girl...
Dude.
We care.
It's not an attack. Not from us.
We *gestures at several of us regulars in the imaginary "room"*...we want to give you hope. It is very telling that this sort of thing feels like an attack to you. Why is hope threatening, and despair comfortable? THAT is the part we're all trying to say, please find a way to work on it. Because as long as you're carrying that emotional gremlin around and letting it call the shots in your head, you could look like the hottest guy ever, and still not have romantic success. LOL attractiveness only gets people to look at you. It doesn't make them love you. You know what else gets people to look at you? Screaming in the street. Doing circus tricks. I mean really. You know damn well that's not all you want. You want, and deserve, to be loved. But love, believe it or not, comes with a lot of vulnerability, honesty, facing things that are hard to hear and deal with. In other words? This. All of this you get here. Which feels like an "attack" to you. Which is what people are trying to explain, if you feel a need to defend yourself against what folks try to tell you here, people who are in fact demonstrating that we care if you live or die, succeed or fail...how you gonna let a woman love you, for real? The challenges of actual love, are far greater than the challenge of simply hearing advice and considering it without a fight.
I hope that today is a better day for you, JBT.
I’m sensitive at times because I guess deep down I still have that feeling of not being good enough.
If I get rejected it’s because I’m ugly. If someone I’m having a convo with leaves it early I must be a bore.
I get hyper critical
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