Need Bedroom Help (boyfriend, marriage, woman, lover)
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I am guessing here then that he doesn`t bother to ask you if you had an "O" during your session. If he does, do not lie to him. Tell him the truth.
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Yes, I have lied before. Nothing over the top, I've just been vague like "I love you" or something like that. I guess I could be more upfront in the moment as opposed to waiting until later to try and talk about it.
What about maybe the two of you going to a sex store together?? That way he wouldn't feel so threatened and he could feel like he's part of it? Just an idea
Not meaning to sound mean but he sounds like he thinks if he got off, then you did too, or should have. Had a female friend with the same problem and ended up keeping a couple "little buddies" hidden around the bedroom for while he was at work. But, to hear him talk, their sex life is the greatest in the world. She got tired of all the arguments they had about this in private, she finally decided to grin and bear it, and keep plenty of AA batteries on hand.
I hope things work out better for you!! Like I told the friend, you deserve better than that.
He's insulted by the idea of being inadequate, yet, he IS inadequate because he doesn't care enough about your satisfaction. You can leave things alone and keep your toys a secret, or you have to confront him and tell him that his technique is indeed inadequate, but you know he can do better if he wants to do so. If he doesn't want to learn and try, then you can decide what to do, but without truth, he can't change. Change can be hard, long, and painful, but is often worthwhile, especially if you do love each other and want a complete and satisfying relationship.
Take the risk and demand he listen and change, is my opinion.
Was he the same before/when you married him? If he wasn't, then he's just being selfish and he takes you for granted. If he was, the logical question would be: why did you marry him...? However, it's too late for that. If that's the case, my opinion is it's hopeless... Some think otherwise.
Something like "ohhh, right there...that's it...keep going" or just take his hands and do what you want done to you. Or do to yourself what you want him to do...and then tell him "like this"
Suggest he change positions mid-way, before he has an orgasm.
Tell him to go faster, slower, harder..etc...
Tell him what you want done to you.
This way you aren't telling him he's terrible, but you are giving him the tools to make it fantastic for you as well.
This is why I believe you should test out the ride before you buy it. I've seen many marriages fair because of this situation. It might be good for a while but it seems to go south at some point. Some people tend to believe that sex isn't important in a relationship. I disagree this one reason why people tend to cheat.
I'm not saying that you should cheat on him if he doesn't listen like other have suggested then it's time not to be nice about it.
1. He'll last longer if he 'cleans the pipes' earlier in the day, before the two of you are together.
2. Try using one of those Kama Sutra 'love jellies' that warms and increases blood flow when applied. Apply it to your "area", give it a few minutes to work its magic, and you'll be halfway there before he even enters the room.
3. Try getting him a little excited in whatever way usually works, then pull back and guide his hands / mouth / etc. to wherever they will get you excited. Continue the back and forth, taking turns, until you're both ready to finish. This should make it clear to him that if he wants you to do for him, he'll have to do for you, too.
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