Is it because Im a black woman.... (dating, girlfriends, women)
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Making a very long story short.....I met this man black man almost 6mts ago at my part-time job(he's no longer there btw)....We are both late 30's with no kids....Anywho...sta rted to talking to this man, got to know him real well......went out here and there for drinks/dinner. Come to find out he was adopted by "white" parents.....Im like Ok..they adopted you, they raised you and loved you as their own...Thats cool...Thats your family...Ok.. Also found out that the majority of his friends were white....and that most of his girlfriends have been white...Still Cool with that...after all they are his past....After a month of dating, noticed that he had not kissed me or tried to anything....Finally after 2 mths of dating..I do get a quick peck on the lips.....Im like WOw....ok. Dont' sweat it though......After feeling comfortable with him...i finally invite him over to the crib..(Yes Im thinking maybe I'll get some...Yes its been a while.)...But did he didnt try anything no...didnt even kiss me...So Im like hmm....Im finally upfront with him and ask him about our situation....He says we will get together soon....Im like ok...but still after a couple of months of periodical dating...we still havent crossed the line. He's finally upfront with me and decide he just not feeling the physicality of the relationship....I've moved on...but just thought to myself how could he just string me along like that...Honestly...ma ybe jumping the gun...Is it possible that he had never been with a black woman....Just dont know what to think......? He reacted like no other "BRUH" I know..... Was really being sympathetic to his past and situations....I mean..I'll work with a brotha....but really think I got the 'shaft" in this situation.....Yes we stared out as really good friends..but got to know him a little better...and yes maybe I did fall for him...and Yes I did ask his intentions early on..... WTF happened....We no longer physically go out...but he texts me weekly.....to say hi and talk for a bit.....Really want to cut him loose because its not healthy for me..What do you think?
Last edited by westcoastbabe; 10-19-2011 at 06:31 AM..
Making a very long story short.....I met this man black man almost 6mts ago at my part-time job(he's no longer there btw)....We are both late 30's with no kids....Anywho...sta rted to talking to this man, got to know him real well......went out here and there for drinks/dinner. Come to find out he was adopted by "white" parents.....Im like Ok..they adopted you, they raised you and loved you as their own...Thats cool...Thats your family...Ok.. Also found out that the majority of his friends were white....and that most of his girlfriends have been white...Still Cool with that...after all they are his past....After a month of dating, noticed that he had not kissed me or tried to anything....Finally after 2 mths of dating..I do get a quick peck on the lips.....Im like WOw....ok. Dont' sweat it though......After feeling comfortable with him...i finally invite him over to the crib..(Yes Im thinking maybe I'll get some...Yes its been a while.)...But did he didnt try anything no...didnt even kiss me...So Im like hmm....Im finally upfront with him and ask him about our situation....He says we will get together soon....Im like ok...but still after a couple of months of periodical dating...we still havent crossed the line. He's finally upfront with me and decide he just not feeling the physicality of the relationship....I've moved on...but just thought to myself how could he just string me along like that...Honestly...ma ybe jumping the gun...Is it possible that he had never been with a black woman....Just dont know what to think......? He reacted like no other "BRUH" I know..... Was really being sympathetic to his past and situations....I mean..I'll work with a brotha....but really think I got the 'shaft" in this situation.
Actually, no and that's the problem. Don't have a clue but the lack of physical affection would have made me find out from him what the issue was rather than go to a forum for answers.
It almost sounds as though he didn't think you two were dating. Maybe he thought you guys were strictly friends all this time, and when you leaned in for a kiss it took him back. Regardless, I don't think he sees you as anything more than a friend.
Whether or not his lack of interest is due to race, I couldn't say.
The world should end because you didn't get some. Be for real; you have a good man who respects himself and you enough to want to wait and you're going to leave him over not giving you none? Wow...you lost for this. Shakes Head
1/ He's gay.
2/ He's a virgin
3/ he's just very shy around women, and isn't 100% sure that a "move" would be reciprocated
4/ He has been well raised, and is a gentleman, and does not want to rush you.
5/ about a million more, which would take an eternity to type up.
As has been suggested before, you need to ask him, not the internet. Sad fact as it is, we can't answer for him.
Is it because I'm black............ honestly !!!
(wanders away, shaking head and muttering)...............................
Quote:
Originally Posted by westcoastbabe
Making a very long story short.....I met this man black man almost 6mts ago at my part-time job(he's no longer there btw)....We are both late 30's with no kids....Anywho...sta rted to talking to this man, got to know him real well......went out here and there for drinks/dinner. Come to find out he was adopted by "white" parents.....Im like Ok..they adopted you, they raised you and loved you as their own...Thats cool...Thats your family...Ok.. Also found out that the majority of his friends were white....and that most of his girlfriends have been white...Still Cool with that...after all they are his past....After a month of dating, noticed that he had not kissed me or tried to anything....Finally after 2 mths of dating..I do get a quick peck on the lips.....Im like WOw....ok. Dont' sweat it though......After feeling comfortable with him...i finally invite him over to the crib..(Yes Im thinking maybe I'll get some...Yes its been a while.)...But did he didnt try anything no...didnt even kiss me...So Im like hmm....Im finally upfront with him and ask him about our situation....He says we will get together soon....Im like ok...but still after a couple of months of periodical dating...we still havent crossed the line. He's finally upfront with me and decide he just not feeling the physicality of the relationship....I've moved on...but just thought to myself how could he just string me along like that...Honestly...ma ybe jumping the gun...Is it possible that he had never been with a black woman....Just dont know what to think......? He reacted like no other "BRUH" I know..... Was really being sympathetic to his past and situations....I mean..I'll work with a brotha....but really think I got the 'shaft" in this situation.....Yes we stared out as really good friends..but got to know him a little better...and yes maybe I did fall for him...and Yes I did ask his intentions early on..... WTF happened....We no longer physically go out...but he texts me weekly.....to say hi and talk for a bit.....Really want to cut him loose because its not healthy for me..What do you think?
Thanks for the replies....Please do not judge me because I wanted to take the physicality of the relationship to the next stage...I am a single woman with needs and feelings....Yes maybe it was a mistake....Yes we started out as really good friends..but got to know him a little better...and yes maybe I did fall for him...and Yes I did ask his intentions early on.....We no longer physically go out...but he texts me weekly.....to say hi and talk for a bit.....Really want to cut him loose because its not healthy for me..What do you think?..
Thanks for the replies....Please do not judge me because I wanted to take the physicality of the relationship to the next stage...I am a single woman with needs and feelings....Yes maybe it was a mistake....Yes we started out as really good friends..but got to know him a little better...and yes maybe I did fall for him...and Yes I did ask his intentions early on.....We no longer physically go out...but he texts me weekly.....to say hi and talk for a bit.....Really want to cut him loose because its not healthy for me..What do you think?..
Nothing wrong with wanting to take it to the next level physically and you gave him adequate time to make a move....
Cut off contact, he seems to be keeping you around as an option for later.
The world should end because you didn't get some. Be for real; you have a good man who respects himself and you enough to want to wait and you're going to leave him over not giving you none? Wow...you lost for this. Shakes Head
I reckon you barely read the original post.
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...Yes its been a while.)...But did he didnt try anything no...didnt even kiss me...So Im like hmm....Im finally upfront with him and ask him about our situation....He says we will get together soon....Im like ok...but still after a couple of months of periodical dating...we still havent crossed the line. He's finally upfront with me and decide he just not feeling the physicality of the relationship....I've moved on...but just thought to myself how could he just string me along like that...Honestly...ma ybe jumping the gun...Is it possible that he had never been with a black woman....Just dont know what to think......? He reacted like no other "BRUH" I know..... Was really being sympathetic to his past and situations....I mean..I'll work with a brotha....but really think I got the 'shaft" in this situation.....Yes we stared out as really good friends..but got to know him a little better...and yes maybe I did fall for him...and Yes I did ask his intentions early on..... WTF happened....We no longer physically go out...but he texts me weekly.....to say hi and talk for a bit.....Really want to cut him loose because its not healthy for me..What do you think?
and that's the problem. Don't have a clue but the lack of physical affection would have made me find out from him what the issue was rather than go to a forum for answers.
