"She said, Sorry, but I have been so busy" (how to, woman)
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Others have said that the passive aggressive approach of saying you are busy is actually less cruel than a clean break. I disagree!!! I spent lots of emotional energy wondering what happened to the person who used to be so good at returning my messages. When she did not answer quickly anymore I went into a period of self doubt and depression. Just be honest, that is the fair and humane approach!
I spent lots of emotional energy wondering what happened to the person who used to be so good at returning my messages. When she did not answer quickly anymore I went into a period of self doubt and depression. Just be honest, that is the fair and humane approach!
Why would you spend lots of emotional energy on someone who obviously doesn't want to talk to you? Sure, she could have been more honest, but you also could have been more perceptive. People who want to associate with you will do so without having to be forced into it.
Because we had been very close friends for years and there was no indication of trouble or we never had a fight. She just phased me slowly out of her life. This has happened a few times, I did not get the hint because we never fought and seemed to be having a great time when we got together.
Quote:
Originally Posted by fleetiebelle
Why would you spend lots of emotional energy on someone who obviously doesn't want to talk to you? Sure, she could have been more honest, but you also could have been more perceptive. People who want to associate with you will do so without having to be forced into it.
Others have said that the passive aggressive approach of saying you are busy is actually less cruel than a clean break. I disagree!!! I spent lots of emotional energy wondering what happened to the person who used to be so good at returning my messages. When she did not answer quickly anymore I went into a period of self doubt and depression. Just be honest, that is the fair and humane approach!
I generally write people off that give me the "but i didn't want to hurt your feelings by being really, truly honest" BS.
Others have said that the passive aggressive approach of saying you are busy is actually less cruel than a clean break. I disagree!!! I spent lots of emotional energy wondering what happened to the person who used to be so good at returning my messages. When she did not answer quickly anymore I went into a period of self doubt and depression. Just be honest, that is the fair and humane approach!
It's not always a passive-aggressive approach - sometimes they just lose interest over time.
Haven't you ever had a great friend, and gradually you grew apart, and pretty soon other things seem more interesting? It's not that there's anything wrong - or anything to say - it's just that the friendship is winding down and both of you are losing interest. Nothing wrong with that!
If you need a clean break, well then that's up to you. But there is nothing wrong with other people not needing one. For me, if a relationship dies slowly, that's just fine. I don't need to pound the last nail into the coffin!
Because we had been very close friends for years and there was no indication of trouble or we never had a fight. She just phased me slowly out of her life. This has happened a few times, I did not get the hint because we never fought and seemed to be having a great time when we got together.
If this is happening to you routinely, then you are obviously doing something that is causing your friends to distance themselves.
Basically, people do this to try to spare the feelings of the person they are blowing off.
Usually they really like the person and don't want to hurt them, they just don't want to date than either.
Don't take it too hard - just keep looking forward
I agree with you. If I am interest in a guy. I find time to talk to him. If I don't have time, I'll tell them I will at least call them later that night or the next day.
I am middle age and have had lots of personal relationships end. I looked back at the details of them ending and one thing is a constant: The other person claimed to be too busy to call, write, email, text or see me face to face.
I could always see the handwriting on the wall. Messages left by me would be slow to get a reply. First someone who use to reply in a day would take two day, then three days, then four days until finally there was no reply at all. Because I hated passive aggressive behavior I would always play dumb and make an effort to put myself in front of them face to face. They would always say, "Oh, I have been meaning to get back to you, but I HAVE BEEN SO BUSY!" My next question was. "what have you been doing that has caused you to be SO BUSY?" I could tell they were lying because they would have a fake ill at ease answer.
Then I could finally tell they were cowards and wanted to end our friendship but were not honest enough to tell me why.
Why do people always say they are so busy when they are not really?
lol...well it is hard to say really...
Since you havenot posted reasons as to why the texts slowed...arguments? behaviors that are seen as unsavory and so forth..
I cannot speak for everyone however I will state that some people will be evasive because they do not want to deal with the situation...they have explained themselves already and perhaps feel that they are not being heard..
Sometimes people do not like confrontation, they would rather allow things to fizzle out hoping that the other person will "get it" and stop texting, calling or emailing..
When finally cornered? They will commonly use the excuse stating they have been too busy...since they run from confrontations and being honest..
I want to state that I am not speaking from personal experience however I did use the practices of a good friend...And time and time again I HAVE TOLD HER "Be honest, tell him you arenot into him, state reasons and then say goodbye in a civil manner, this was there is no room for miscommunication...
hope this helps...And for what its worth? Despite the reasons for their behaviors? Everyone deserves to know whats up,,
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