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I was sitting here this morning answering a reply to a post of mine and it took me back to over four years ago. I used to write here every day about the goings on in my life, good or bad, happy or sad.
Posting here allowed my world to open. There were so many people who read and felt with me on a daily basis.
All of those many many months of writing here, the pages and pages of my postings and their responses allowed me enough confidence to break free of my proverbial chains.
I left the house of chains and moved forward to the house of chimes. I moved through all of the seasons of the years.
I told you things not even my family knows. All these years later, most of them still don't. But you know. You know about my life day in and day out. Helped me day in and day out. Gave me advice, love, comfort.
In the end, with as far as I had come I grew reckless. You could see it, but I could not. I knew what I was doing. Everything was fine. You knew better.
I had to live and learn, and I did. It was a hard lesson, but one that only I could learn. You saw my mistakes before they happened, and told me about them, but I was hardheaded and didn't listen.
My family saw it too, and some still fault me for it. I can see it with eyes wide open now.
I am living a far different life now. One where I am rather cautious. Weighing this and that. Finding myself happy again. Writing again. Brings me back here. To all of the days and nights and hours and hours I spent here writing and reading.
Thanks C-D friends from long ago. For helping to be a part of the me that I am today...... None of you will know how important a part you played.....
I'm new here and don't know your story, but what a tremendous post! One of the benefits of online resources, especially for people who are willing to listen and learn from others to make positive changes in their lives. Support forums are never a replacement for professional help, but we don't always need professional help, we just need to get out of our own heads sometimes and talk to others who "get it".
Yeah... brings back memories of interventions... trying to save ya from psychos!
Hope you're doing better, sweetie!
Well. The good thing now is that I read that, I am cracking up laughing.
Back then, I made excuses for the husband. Now I don't. He gets no excuses and is still the same man.
For the other man. Well. I learned.
For now. Now I am at peace with myself and very happy. I still ask myself every once a while if I am deserving of it, or what I did to get it, but this comes from the years of conditioning.
I am not as bad as I used to be with this.
I dont know if you remember I was not allowed to have a coffeepot in my husbands and my home together? Then I brought in a small coffee pot.... to test my limits... as I grew. When I moved out, I had a coffeepot. I drank it like it was going out of style.
I woke the other morning (friday) and was to have 2 job interviews a little later. I thought I smelled coffee a bit before that but decided I was nuts.
My bf had kissed me goodbye that morning and wished me luck, told me he loved me, and to give 'em hell.
That was early in the morning, five or six, I don't know. I got up around 630 and walked into the kitchen to a pot full of coffee.
Is this the biggest thing in the world? No. It's one of the little things I never used to have..... I have awakened to the same thing every day since then, except Saturday. He took me to breakfast that day....
I'm new here and don't know your story, but what a tremendous post! One of the benefits of online resources, especially for people who are willing to listen and learn from others to make positive changes in their lives. Support forums are never a replacement for professional help, but we don't always need professional help, we just need to get out of our own heads sometimes and talk to others who "get it".
All the best to you on your journey! : )
Hi Liberty. Well, I found this place as a great place to be and over the years have lurked about. Starting to post again, I guess.... Didn't know how much I missed it.
This place helped give me the confidence to open my eyes, take care of myself, look at my surroundings, and finally speak up for myself and break free from an emotionally abusive marriage......
I am grateful to have been at least a small part of it. Pikantari, I have always enjoyed your posts. And My! Those glasses!!!!
Captain! Thank you. =D I am glad you were as well! You all were very important to it all. Ah yes, the glasses..... =)
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