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That's just my observation when it comes to relationships. Seems like a lot of folks are looking for the cream of the crop. Many folks have "overvalued" themselves.
Many seem to think, they inherently deserve "nothing but the best" in terms of a relationship. No work required of themselves.
Do you think a lot of people WOULD and COULD be in good solid relationships if they would adjust their reality? I guess in order to do that, it requires being honest.
Last edited by Rocco Barbosa; 04-18-2015 at 12:29 PM..
Everyone should look for the "cream of the crop" when it comes to what they are looking for/need in a relationship.
What is the perfect boyfriend for my friend and was is perfect to me has always been completely different.
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Why waste your time being with someone you don't want to be with or dating someone you have NO interest in? When it comes to feelings/attraction there is little you can do to change/adjust them/it. If your heart isn't in it....then it isn't.
I do agree people should be the best they can be, and work for what it is they want.
Define your terms, OP. If by "the cream of the crop" you mean everyone wants somebody with model or moviestar heart throb looks, then I say no. I don't see that at all. Most people I observe are very real, needing no adjustment, and are average people going with average people, pretty much. If you're talking about your own observations of your friends, acquaintances, maybe you're with the wrong crowd. If you're talking about what people say on forums like this, lol, fuggetaboutit. You should know better than to take this to be a reflection of most of reality out there.
Do you live in a hoity-toity part of LA? That might explain your observations. Otherwise, I think you're worrying about a fringe phenomenon. I'm guessing you have better things to spend your brain-power on. I just don't see this in real life.
Why waste your time being with someone you don't want to be with or dating someone you have NO interest in? When it comes to feelings/attraction there is little you can do to change/adjust them/it. If your heart isn't in it....then it isn't.
I do agree people should be the best they can be, and work for what it is they want.
Got to go with this. A relationship isn't needed for survival. It's really a luxury. So if I am going to be with someone romantically + sexually, it is going to have to be someone that I find attractive. I am not going to be with someone I don't like, just to say I am with someone.
Far as taste goes. Some men I liked were more conventionally attractive, and many girls likes them. Some guys I thought were sexy, and many told me they thought they were ugly. My friend usually tended to think guys I liked were ugly. But they were sexy to me, so I didn't care.
I think everyone is looking for the best "value" in a relationship and there are so many other factors that go into looking for someone than just physical beauty. For instance, I love to travel and chances are I'm not going to be happy being with a homebody unless he's secure enough to not mind if I travel w/o him. I also like men who take the trouble to keep up with their education by reading, watching high quality and educational stuff on TV, or learning to do new things. Looks is nowhere near the top but he has to be attractive to me or it won't work--he does not have to be attractive to anyone else though.
Most people are looking for a good match and compatibility. Teens and 20-somethings tend to be focussed more on looks, but many outgrow that eventually, as they mature and gain dating experience. The people who don't learn from their mistakes tend to be the most vocal, but they're in the minority. That's why we hear about how shallow or high-maintenance this or that gender is, sweeping generalizations about the character or thinking process of entire genders. Most people know this isn't the way the world works, though.
Cream of the crop doesn't mean the hottest, richest, most brilliant, etc. This is all subjective, Op. What most people want is the person that is right for them. They want the cream of their crop.
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