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tl:dr I was in a bad relationship which I ended, but my brothers take my ex's side and say I'm a b*tch for leaving.
I want to start by saying I generally love my family, the majority of the time we're very close and I have two brothers I care about deeply. Though we have arguments like any siblings do, lately things have been really good between us all.
Recently, I was in a relationship with a guy who I slowly found out was heavily addicted to pot. He smoked every chance he got, around 5 - 7 joints a day, often staying home to get baked over spending time with me. Anything that got in the way of his habit irritated him immensely, including me. Our sex life suffered because he was selfish in bed and lazy and afterwards I slowly developed an allergy to weed smoke which made my eyes water, my lips swell and my skin itch. He did absolutely nothing to curb his smoking and clearly didn't care that I was in pain.
Obviously, I became deeply unhappy with our relationship and I decided to end it. I wasn't in love with him and I felt he deserved to be with someone who he was more compatible with.
Since then, my brothers, who got on really really well with my ex, have completely turned on me. They both feel I was unreasonable to break up with him and should have put up with his pot smoking and my allergy and stayed. They constantly make digs at me about it, and over the weekend openly discussed it in front of both their SOs and told me I was horrible for ending the relationship.
Their whole attitude has me seriously upset and confused. I haven't regretted my decision at all since I ended it, yet now I'm questioning whether I did indeed make a big mistake because their comments are really getting to me. I'm not sure what else I can say to make it clear why I did what I did, I'm tired of being seen as a ***** for leaving and I'm really starting to resent my siblings because of this.
So break up with your family as well and move on without them.
Just because they are blood relatives does not mean you are obligated to put up with their crap.
If you want to spend the rest of your life with a selfish pothead then by all means go crawling back to him and ask him to take you back so he can be just as selfish and a bigger pothead than before.
Otherwise tell your family to eff off it is your life, your choice and none of their business.
It might take your brothers' some maturity and common sense to understand the reasons why you broke up with him. Do they smoke pot with your ex? I don't think you've made a mistake. Don't worry about their opinions and trust your gut instinct. Worry about you and stay away from your brothers if possible.
No, my brothers don't smoke weed regularly. They both partake from time to time but never did with my ex. My ex is a very charismatic person and was really chilled and fun to be around (because he was permanently high).
No, my brothers don't smoke weed regularly. They both partake from time to time but never did with my ex. My ex is a very charismatic person and was really chilled and fun to be around (because he was permanently high).
Quote:
Originally Posted by rachelmcandrew
Since then, my brothers, who got on really really well with my ex, have completely turned on me. They both feel I was unreasonable to break up with him and should have put up with his pot smoking and my allergy and stayed. They constantly make digs at me about it, and over the weekend openly discussed it in front of both their SOs and told me I was horrible for ending the relationship.
... I'm really starting to resent my siblings because of this.
Then you should tell them that.
He may have been fun to be around, for them ... to a point, but they did not live YOUR experience and frankly have NO right to tell you how to live.
Look at this as a chance to practice asserting your personal boundaries with them. It doesn't have to be a fight, but whenever they judge and insult you, tell them that's inappropriate and hurtful and you want them to stop.
If they don't, tell them you will leave and not be around them if they continue.
Then follow through.
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