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Concerning it being more difficult to find a mate in your 30s or later, I kind of agree. I'm 32 and whenever I come across a woman I find attractive, she's either married, dating someone else, or has kids which I'm simply not prepared for. The thing is, when I look back at the years in my early and even mid 20s, any time I ran into a single girl it was incredibly rare that she was relationship material. And to be honest, I doubt I was either, back then. And incidentally, most of my friends didn't find "the one" until they were in their mid to late 20s. The few I knew who got engaged right after high school all (except one) ended up breaking up with that person and later marrying someone else. And I wasn't surprised at all, because we were all still changing dramatically as people.
In short, if I had married the girl I was fond of at the end of high school, we either would have gotten a divorce by now or we'd both be unspeakably miserable. I'm still friends with that girl (kind of) and we're both so different now and so incompatible that it's pretty terrifying to imagine us being married. And one girl I wasn't even slightly interested in back in high school I'm now friends with, and we would probably be nicely compatible now. But...you guessed it...she's married.
I hate to burst some bubbles or scare anyone but I'm 35 and to be blunt...I think dating is horrible in your 30's. First of all a lot of the most desirable women were already snagged up while they were in their 20's. Then there is the single mom kids issue...I'm not even sure I want one of my own, why would I want someone else's? If you're a guy that is a late bloomer like me the reality is the odds are severely against you. It's different for a woman...they can be a late bloomer and do fine since a lot of their competition, by that point, is not considered filet mignon. I refuse to, and will never settle so I doubt I will ever find what I'm looking for at this point. I always see guys that are no better than me with the exact type of woman I'm attracted to..but the only difference is, he found her first.
Quote:
Originally Posted by MIKEETC
I'm 40. I'm better than when I was 30 and I ain't lookin' back!!
[and light years beyond 20 - difficult days those were]
It doesn't matter how great you are at 40 I think I'm pretty awesome at 35 but the fact is the vast majority of attractive women are already taken before they are 30. I only pray that I can snag one up that's in her late 20's or so before it's too late. I'm still single, never married, no kids. I don't see why guys like me should have to settle just because we didn't get to date much when we were younger. /endrant
Last edited by wanderlust76; 11-28-2011 at 06:10 PM..
UNless they are 30+ ----->pikantari<----- and have been there and done that in their earlier years and it didn't work for whatever reason.... now there are those still nice and sweet women, lol, who are out there and have found someone who has never been married, has the career, etc and has ended up with a gem of a man.
Haha never fear pikantari, you are 100% sweet *and* nice *and* beautiful! You have nothing to worry about my friend I was just talking earlier in general about my own personal experiences with dating 30+ women...by no means does it apply to all 30+ women, certainly
It doesn't matter how great you are at 40 I think I'm pretty awesome at 35 but the fact is the vast majority of attractive women are already taken before they are 30. I only pray that I can snag one up that's in her late 20's or so before it's too late. I'm still single, never married, no kids. I don't see why guys like me should have to settle just because we didn't get to date much when we were younger. /endrant
I was looking at it more globally as opposed to being focused on dating.
[with that said, if you don't want to settle, then don't settle]
well said, and i couldn't agree more. youngins, take heed! dating really does occur in a market, which means that the good stuff gets taken Q-U-I-C-K. for men, "good stuff" means the attractive women. for ladies, "good stuff" means the guys that are a package deal: decent (or better) looks, decent job, personality, friends, etc etc.
as a single 28 yr old male, i honestly cannot remember the last time i met an attractive girl close in age to me, that wasn't either already married or in a long term relationship. when it does happen though (extremely rarely), it's a huge deal! hahaha...besides, even the not-so-attractive ones tend to be in panic mode, because most or all of their friends are engaged/married/have kids etc etc, and it's a real pain dealing with their insecurities.
of course, if you DO get married, then you also miss out on the horsing around and "sowing your wild oats" bit, but if you know for sure that you're the marrying kind, then i think you'd do well to start your search by your early 20s...
Your doing SOMETHING wrong!
I've dated women who were 30-31 I knew in their 20's who are HOTTER now than then!
(And also hotter in more ways than looks... Hormones RAMP UP when they hit their 30's it seems)
PLENTY of attractive 30 year old women... Although the last one was a VERY nice divorced 38, and the one before that a 25 year old...
well said, and i couldn't agree more. youngins, take heed! dating really does occur in a market, which means that the good stuff gets taken Q-U-I-C-K. for men, "good stuff" means the attractive women. for ladies, "good stuff" means the guys that are a package deal: decent (or better) looks, decent job, personality, friends, etc etc.
as a single 28 yr old male, i honestly cannot remember the last time i met an attractive girl close in age to me, that wasn't either already married or in a long term relationship. when it does happen though (extremely rarely), it's a huge deal! hahaha...besides, even the not-so-attractive ones tend to be in panic mode, because most or all of their friends are engaged/married/have kids etc etc, and it's a real pain dealing with their insecurities.
of course, if you DO get married, then you also miss out on the horsing around and "sowing your wild oats" bit, but if you know for sure that you're the marrying kind, then i think you'd do well to start your search by your early 20s...
This is not directed to you per se. It always amuses me when men say all the great girls are snatched up by 30, suggesting that women over 30 are in some way lacking, undesirable if you will. If those girls were so great, why is there a high divorce rate and why do many men refer to their exes as "psychos" and "crazy"?
This kind of thinking can force women to start worrying and then settle for just any guy, just so that she won't be 30 and single. We all know how that usually ends.
There are many reasons why a girl could end up not getting married by 30. It could be due to not finding the right guy i.e. meeting mostly players, guys who are looking for a sugar mama, immature guys etc. The girl could also just be a late bloomer
It could also be a location issue, race issue, basically a multitude of factors.
These same factors could apply to men too. Would you like it if a woman removed you from consideration because you were a certain age?
I guess my point is this. You just can't generalize. There are hot younger women and there are hot "older" women. There are also younger women that are UUUUUUUUGGGGLY and vice versa. Life is not black or white. Just take people as you see them, individually.
I didn't even MEET my SO (or any decent guys) until I turned 30. Thus far, 30s have proven to be much more about hitting my stride than the all-over-the-place, volatile twenties were. I wasn't a huge fan of the growing pains that came with my twenties (then or in retrospect), but obviously they were necessary. But the past few years since turning 30 have been so much better, to be honest.
I hear you, I'm probably the one person on earth that actually looks forward to turning 30. I'm ready to chuck the 20s out the window.
This is not directed to you per se. It always amuses me when men say all the great girls are snatched up by 30, suggesting that women over 30 are in some way lacking, undesirable if you will. If those girls were so great, why is there a high divorce rate and why do many men refer to their exes as "psychos" and "crazy"?
well, as i pointed out earlier, by "good stuff" i meant the attractive ones. i've met plenty of nice women in their 30s with great personalities and careers, but it's extremely rare to find an *attractive*, never-been-married before woman in that age range. besides, to address your point: who's to say that the divorce wasn't the guy's fault? for every divorced guy claiming his ex was a psycho, there's a woman claiming her ex was nuts! so that's neither here nor there...
Quote:
Originally Posted by Peacelilies
There are many reasons why a girl could end up not getting married by 30. It could be due to not finding the right guy i.e. meeting mostly players, guys who are looking for a sugar mama, immature guys etc. The girl could also just be a late bloomer
It could also be a location issue, race issue, basically a multitude of factors.
a hot woman doesn't have to put in half as much effort as an average/ugly one. she can afford to be shy, reticent, with a dull or just mediocre personality at best, and still have a bevy of guys falling over themselves to take her out and show her a good time. it's extremely unlikely that among the gazillion options such a woman has, not a single guy meets her criteria. eventually, she'll find one of these guys good enough to settle down with. not so for the unattractive ones, though. therefore, if a woman gets to her late 20s and above and still hasn't found a guy, chances are pretty darn high that she's just not that attractive. she might have much else goin for her: personality, career, etc etc, but it's unlikely that most men find her physically attractive.
besides, even if an attractive woman ends up divorcing and re-entering the dating pool, she's still used goods, with probable emotional and psychological baggage (yes this applies to men as well). this feeds into what i was trying to say earlier. it's hard to find an attractive woman that's also sane and without mental/emotional/psychological baggage, the older one gets.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Peacelilies
These same factors could apply to men too. Would you like it if a woman removed you from consideration because you were a certain age?
I guess my point is this. You just can't generalize. There are hot younger women and there are hot "older" women. There are also younger women that are UUUUUUUUGGGGLY and vice versa. Life is not black or white. Just take people as you see them, individually.
women already remove men from consideration due to age. everyone does this, it's nothing new. how many early to mid 20s women do you think seriously consider dating a man above, say, his early 30s? at 28 not only have i been rebuffed by 21 yr olds who think i'm too old for them, but also by older women (mid 30s - the "exceptional" cases i mentioned earlier) who thought i was too young for them! also, i'd like to state that i *do not* discriminate based on age. i just make the best of the available opportunities. i've dated older, younger and even my age.
i realize that it's best to take it case by case, but that doesn't really invalidate my point. there are, of course, exceptions to every rule. i believe my observations are mostly correct, when considered in the aggregate.
Last edited by ElysianEagle; 11-28-2011 at 11:46 PM..
I hear you, I'm probably the one person on earth that actually looks forward to turning 30. I'm ready to chuck the 20s out the window.
I turned 30 three months ago and got married a month after that. I just missed the cutoff. LOL
Turning 30 didn't bother me at all. My twenties weren't so great so I was happy to say good riddance to them! Life is good right now and I'm happy where I am.
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You have nothing to worry about my friend 
I was just talking earlier in general about my own personal experiences with dating 30+ women...by no means does it apply to all 30+ women, certainly 
and vice versa. Life is not black or white. Just take people as you see them, individually.
