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If a man admits to cheating in several previous relationships, but he says that behavior is in his past, he's changed, and he won't cheat again...is it likely that he, indeed, won't continue to cheat? Or, is a "cheater always a cheater"?
Theoretically, yes, if they meet "the one" it might be enough to make them stop.
Getting caught a few times might discourage them.
However, after cheating in "several" previous relationships, I'd have to say no, they are unlikely to change.
Unless you want a project, keep on moving by !
If a man admits to cheating in several previous relationships, but he says that behavior is in his past, he's changed, and he won't cheat again...is it likely that he, indeed, won't continue to cheat? Or, is a "cheater always a cheater"?
Bobman makes a good point - and I have seen people change. I do not believe "once a cheater always a cheater" - if people are redeemable in other areas of life and behaviour, then certainly it is possible in this scenario as well.
Having said that, unless he has dated a few other people since then and NOT cheated, I would be sceptical. Are you the first one he claims he will remain true to?
If a man admits to cheating in several previous relationships, but he says that behavior is in his past, he's changed, and he won't cheat again...is it likely that he, indeed, won't continue to cheat? Or, is a "cheater always a cheater"?
Can he? Yes, absolutely he can. Will he? That's an entirely different question.
The "several" is the big red flag for me. If a man--or a woman, for that matter, though in this particular case we're talking about a man--shows a pattern of cheating, that makes me think he 1.) has shown that there are a number of relationship situations in which he'll cheat; 2.) isn't terribly motivated to change his ways; and 3.) may not be telling the truth when he says that he has changed.
How many do you mean when you say "several"? In what percentage of his past relationships did he cheat? Suppose it's x%; ask yourself if you can live with the idea that every day you're together, there's an x% chance that he'll cheat that day. Can you accept and live with that uncertainty?
It's not just the cheating that causes damage to the relationship; it's the mistrust from not knowing whether he has really changed.
Theoretically, yes, if they meet "the one" it might be enough to make them stop.
Getting caught a few times might discourage them.
However, after cheating in "several" previous relationships, I'd have to say no, they are unlikely to change.
Unless you want a project, keep on moving by !
I agree with Bob. If this man had cheated on one partner in the past, I would say sure, he can change. I don't beleive in "once a cheater, always a cheater". I hate to say that there is "good" reason to cheat, but sometimes it helps to know what the history was. Sometimes it takes two to ruin a relationship and there are certain situations that I could overlook.
If he has cheated on several partners, it seems more that it is a character flaw on his part.
Last edited by sunshineleith; 12-07-2011 at 07:33 AM..
Reason: removed orphaned material
Nope, once a cheater always a cheater. Unless there was a life changing revelation like religious epiphany or AA recovery, the same Joe or Sue will cheat again.
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