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This is what women tell men when they complain about their lazy wife. I guess this works so why not apply it to women who complain about their husband as well, right?
Usually to reignite a spark or to aid a short term problem and open up dialogue to fix the root cause of the problem.
Women and men want the same goal of a loving relationship but what it takes for a man or a woman to reach that goal are very different things.
Women like to fiddle around with the emotional side of things and we also tend to dwell on things of that nature. To us it is important to go over every little thing.
Men like the direct approach. Men tend to be results oriented. They aren't interested in why something is wrong in the relationship they are only interested in whatever the problem is being fixed.
My husband is 60 year old adolescent boy. If he doesn't like doing things like helping me, he won't. I'm fed up with the 2 affairs he has had in the past 7 years of marriage. I've been a caregiver and enabler. Now that he's retired early due to disability, he smokes pot all day. I am leaving him and divorcing him. He's not a husband, he's a boy. Not what I signed up for.
I have been married over 30 years, and by year by year things have been getting worse and worse. I stayed for the kids, (studies at the time said it was best) or would have left 20 years ago. I don't work, was a stay at home Mom, last one just graduated. My husband does absolutely nothing but work. He works approximately 6-7 hours a day at not too demanding of a job. He comes home, sits on the couch and literally will not do anything. He walks past things that need picked up, won't do the yard, I truly mean will not do anything. He leaves his things all over. He bathes once a week (reeks), and won't bathe more, says he knows he should. His personal habits are disgusting. When I ask for money he always has an excuse of why he can't give it to me that day. But funny thing, he always has it for what he wants. He bounces checks almost every other day, so there is never money in the account. We have had 5 cars repossessed, lost two homes, been evicted, been sued umpteen times because he doesn't take care of business, utilities shut off all the time, tax liens, will not pay the bills on time. Spends money like its water. No savings, no retirement. No gifts for Valentine , anniversary Mothers Day,etc as "there is no money" then a week later goes out and buys himself something expensive. He eats like he has been on an island for a month with no food, and is 80 pounds over weight and has been for 99% of our marriage. We virtually don't talk and when ever I ask him to do something (take out the garbage) he will give me a dirty look and start an argument. It has gotten to the point I don't say anything to him because I know it's going to start an argument. I am not a complainer, never shared the problems with the kids and they think I am horrible to him. His family will have nothing to do with him. I am over 60 and never worked, so what options are there?
I have been married over 30 years, and by year by year things have been getting worse and worse. I stayed for the kids, (studies at the time said it was best)
That is where you went very wrong.You should NEVER stay together for the kids sake.They will always be your children no matter what.You should have left for YOUR sake.Now you have wasted 20+ yrs...don't you think it's time to stop wasting anymore time? YOU have put up with his behavior.I say just get things in order with a divorce attorney...behind his back of course...and start looking for a job of your own...don't tell your husband ANYTHING..find a place of your own..pack up your stuff while he's at work and leave.Don't even leave a note...just go and start a life that you deserve because people like your husband will NOT ever change.He is using you as his personal maid...has been for over 20+ years. I say get a divorce now.
My husband is 60 year old adolescent boy. If he doesn't like doing things like helping me, he won't. I'm fed up with the 2 affairs he has had in the past 7 years of marriage. I've been a caregiver and enabler. Now that he's retired early due to disability, he smokes pot all day. I am leaving him and divorcing him. He's not a husband, he's a boy. Not what I signed up for.
Good for you, Wazzu Lu! I am sorry you wasted seven years on this person.
There are good men out there. Men who realize that having the love of a good woman is a great honor and privilege. Men who will be your helpmate, put your needs above their own, cherish you. Whose proudest accomplishment is seeing you happy and fulfilled.
My husband is 60 year old adolescent boy. If he doesn't like doing things like helping me, he won't. I'm fed up with the 2 affairs he has had in the past 7 years of marriage. I've been a caregiver and enabler. Now that he's retired early due to disability, he smokes pot all day. I am leaving him and divorcing him. He's not a husband, he's a boy. Not what I signed up for.
Hallelujah! Quite happy I never married... after reading thru all this. A lot of the postings reaffirm my great dislike of the human race. (Yeah, I know. I'm one of 'em).
Hallelujah! Quite happy I never married... after reading thru all this. A lot of the postings reaffirm my great dislike of the human race. (Yeah, I know. I'm one of 'em).
Good for you, Wazzu Lu! I am sorry you wasted seven years on this person.
There are good men out there. Men who realize that having the love of a good woman is a great honor and privilege. Men who will be your helpmate, put your needs above their own, cherish you. Whose proudest accomplishment is seeing you happy and fulfilled.
Is that what it's like to be in in a marriage?
No wonder why I don't want one. I'll stick to having dogs.
Someone announces they're getting married on cd people react like good luck... you say I'm getting divorced and it's all balloons and flying doves.
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Geez...
