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I am in agreement with the other posters that you should report him to the police immediately. However, it is obvious that you are still in shock and your emotions are clouding your reasoning.
It's hard to believe that someone you liked and trusted could do this to you--but he did. Please stop making excuses for him. He raped you.
Please go to a rape counseling center asap. You need to talk to an expert about this. This kind of thing could haunt you for the rest of your life if you don't deal with it properly.
The funny part is that night, after it all happened, though I felt very ashamed and bad for what had happened (because I had told myself a million times I wouldn't sleep with him!!), I couldn't hate him that night. I would look at his eyes and his smile and I just couldn't. I liked him from the first moment I saw him and that's what I saw. It was only this morning that I felt extremely horrible. Like I said, I even sent him a sweet good night text (so even if I did file a police report, he can always show that). This morning, thinking more straight, I made a recollection of everything that happened and I felt horrible. Why would he go ahead and do it when I said NO? Sure I was there and we were hugging, but he still could've respected my decision. I guess he's not as good as I thought, you guys are right.
You are in shock; I've worked with women who were raped. This will not just go away, and he will be back for more- if you continue to text him or contact him.
Time does not heal all wounds. This is something that you could experience PTSD with. Flashbacks, etc.
Just because you liked this guy, and wanted a relationship with him doesn't justify what he did. Guilt & shame are part of the many emotions rape survivors go through.
Excerpt from an article in the May 2011 issue of Cosmopolitan entitled, "The Charmer Rapist":
Quote:
A shocking new study has revealed that sexual predators are more likely to be the “nice guy” who’s the life of the party – not the creepy guy in the corner.
<snip>
Much of the time, when we talk about rape, we draw upon one of a couple of familiar stories. There’s stranger rape, committed by anonymous criminals in alleyways. Then there are alleged “misunderstandings”, in which one person – usually a man – has sex with another thinking that they consent.
However, a new study by the Australian Institute of Family Studies (AIFS) has shown that most sexual assaults don’t fit either of these narratives. For one, the vast majority of assaults are committed by someone known to the victim – a friend, work colleague, family member or even a boyfriend. Nor are perpetrators easily identifiable creeps or misfits: the women interviewed for the AIFS study described their rapists variously as charming, talkative and engaging.
The reason I say I wasn't raped was because I put myself in that position. I made the decision to cuddle in bed with him. I told him that was the only thing that would be happening (how naive of me). But I was really intent and firm on saying that nothing would happen. I told him '"no" a million times. I told him to get off of me, but he grabbed a condom and soon enough he had his privates rubbing me. He pushed my underwear to the side and, me still telling him to please get off of me, he went ahead and did it. At that point I didn't even try pushing him off. I'm not putting the blame entirely on him, because like I said before, I put myself in that position. It was stupid of me to believe we would only cuddle. I really believed that would be the only thing happening. I didn't know some men were such pigs with little self-control. Had I known, I wouldn't have gone to bed with him. The worst part is that I like this guy a lot. I had very high hopes. I really, really liked him. But now I'm starting to see him in a different light. It seems like he is really only after one thing. I feel like I don't learn from my mistakes. But this one made me reflect a lot.
You were assaulted and should seek the advice of a therapist.
Normally I tend to think that the term "rape" is thrown around too liberally because women (I am one) have been told that even if they got talked into it but didn't really want it, they were raped. Or if they get drunk and consent but didn't really mean it it's still rape. These situations are not rape. However, I don't see how this case is not rape and I would file a police report now; this is probably not the first time he's done this and probably won't be the last unless somebody steps up. You could save someone from experiencing the same thing at the hands of this dirtbag.
The OP does not want to press charges nor talk to a Rape Counselor and no-one can force her or coerce her to do that.
Hard lesson learned, don't invite a man over unless you are prepared to go all the way or you have a gun under your pillow and you're prepared to use it.
This is sick on so many levels. You were raped and then you were upset he didn't respond to your text. You refuse to report the assault and you're saying you asked for it by cuddling.
Do you know how many women every day battle to have their story heard and taken as the truth? Excuses like yours - affirming the "she asked for it" theory - make it difficult for women who really want HELP to get the aid they need. It's sad and it's selfish.
Do yourself and all women a favor and do what's right, or stop spreading untruth about your part in this.
The reason I say I wasn't raped was because I put myself in that position.
Well, contrary to the popular opinion, I agree with you, and quite frankly, I wouldn't call it rape, either. I'd call it poor and naive judgment at best and annoying teasing at worst.
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It was stupid of me to believe we would only cuddle.
Yes, it was. Horny men do not "cuddle" in bed. You can "cuddle" with a male pooch or a tomcat in bed.
You all can start throwing stones now! I don't care.
This is sick on so many levels. You were raped and then you were upset he didn't respond to your text. You refuse to report the assault and you're saying you asked for it by cuddling.
Do you know how many women every day battle to have their story heard and taken as the truth? Excuses like yours - affirming the "she asked for it" theory - make it difficult for women who really want HELP to get the aid they need. It's sad and it's selfish.
Do yourself and all women a favor and do what's right, or stop spreading untruth about your part in this.
Exactly, IDK why, people on this act like they were born yesterday.
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No means no
