Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
The goal of a long-distance relationship is to eventually transform it into a normal, everyday relationship.
For a LDR to work, both parties need to have an end goal in sight. Both individuals need to know that the stress, work, agony, traveling, money and time spent maintaining their LDR is for a reason - to eventually be together.
It hasn't worked for me, but everyone is different. I believe the circumstances dictate, like: the people involved, how able they are to travel frequently to visit, and whether they are actually compatible, or is it just "the attractiveness of the remote"?
Long distance relationships don't work. The opportunity for deception (the other person, and you, deceiving yourself about what is really going on) is just too great. If they do wind up working out, oddly enough they morph into relationships of convenience. I classify this as putting emotional distance, where LDR's are mostly about physical distance.
Even it works out, you may still have a less than desirable situation.
My ex loves long distance relationships. I just shake my head. He is great fun on weekends, and trips to Martha's Vineyard, or up to the Cape. But the day to day grind of actually living a life with someone, and connecting with that person on a deeper level is beyond him emotionally.
I pity any woman who is his weekend plaything, and thinks it could be real someday. Honey, he onloy wants you when he wants to fit you in his schedule. Otherwise, you are out of sight, out of mind. Don't think it is real. It is about as real as Cinderella's carriage at midnight.
What is sad, is how delusional he is, he acts like this is a real relationship, even though the woman lives 800 miles away. He does not want a woman in his town, he wants the romance of wanting her...making plans to be closer...then it happens, and within six months they break up. I have watched this same scenario for over 20 years, as a bystander. I really feel like telling these women he is a toxic mess. But I am the "Ex" and no doubt a bitter, mean, *****. Nope. Just sad to see how he treats women. It is like watching a serial sociopath destroy other peoples lives, his last GF was very nice, and he completely screwed her. She quit her job, sold her home, moved in with him...and he broke up with her, they had been dating long distance for over two years. She moves in with him, he broke up with her in less than six months. He has done this several times over. I am watching the current one now...sad. Maybe she will tell him to move in with her, and dump him. I can only hope.
My ex loves long distance relationships. I just shake my head. He is great fun on weekends, and trips to Martha's Vineyard, or up to the Cape. But the day to day grind of actually living a life with someone, and connecting with that person on a deeper level is beyond him emotionally.
I pity any woman who is his weekend plaything, and thinks it could be real someday. Honey, he onloy wants you when he wants to fit you in his schedule. Otherwise, you are out of sight, out of mind. Don't think it is real. It is about as real as Cinderella's carriage at midnight.
What is sad, is how delusional he is, he acts like this is a real relationship, even though the woman lives 800 miles away. He does not want a woman in his town, he wants the romance of wanting her...making plans to be closer...then it happens, and within six months they break up. I have watched this same scenario for over 20 years, as a bystander. I really feel like telling these women he is a toxic mess. But I am the "Ex" and no doubt a bitter, mean, *****. Nope. Just sad to see how he treats women. It is like watching a serial sociopath destroy other peoples lives, his last GF was very nice, and he completely screwed her. She quit her job, sold her home, moved in with him...and he broke up with her, they had been dating long distance for over two years. She moves in with him, he broke up with her in less than six months. He has done this several times over. I am watching the current one now...sad. Maybe she will tell him to move in with her, and dump him. I can only hope.
i tried to say this but u said it so much better. a great line from children of paradise (french film black and white) is when baptiste is guna leave his wife, she corners garance his lover and says can u love him 24/7 like me, i know u r great once in a awhile. garance runs off cant take the heat.
a characteristic of internet and long distance dating is it loans itself to fantasy dating. we project onto others a fictional lover who is so much more enticing than any real person would be, face-to-face, day-to-day.
I worried about that, too, since I met my SO via a forum...we both were somewhat worried that if we became day-to-day, face-to-face, our attitudes and perspectives would change.
Flash forward to present date, five years of us being together, sharing a home, etc., just like a couple that didn't meet "virtual," and it worked out just fine. It didn't turn into a thing where the fantasy was better than the reality, at all. It wasn't, as we'd feared, a situation where once we were "together-together," the mystique was gone...we legitimately continued and still continue to grow in love and respect. You really don't ever know, but as it turns out, we aren't a couple who was just a good "talk on the phone long distance and have romantic weekend trips to hang out with one another" couple. We wanted to close the gap on our 500 miles pretty much from the get-go, so we did. It's no less a "real" relationship because it started out not face-to-face. We each fell in love with a real person, not a fantasy ideal that lived far away.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
