What if your husband had a secret child? (wife, marriage, woman)
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My friend's family has been going through a really delicate situation. His parents have been married for 42 years. His father, who is 69, had cancer and he was pratically terminal at a time. Everyone thought he would die.
So, when he felt really bad, he decided to tell everyone he had two secret sons, one of them exactly my friend's age. He had the other with a woman who had been a maid at their house and he paid her a large amount of money to keep her mouth shut. He has been supporting the kids throughout all this time.
Everyone was shocked but his wife continued to take care of him because, well, he would die. The problem is that, not only did he improve, he just got rid of the cancer last week. It went into absolute remission. No one was expecting that.
Now everything is really awkward. My friend's mother doesn't speak to his father and she actually went to live in another house for some time.
I'd probably react in a similar fashion... move out and get myself some space to think. But considering that the man did come clean and that the marriage lasted for so long, I would certainly give things another chance. I'd insist on counseling, get the whole truth out, etc. I think the marriage would be on a probation of sorts. Chances are I wouldn't leave such a husband (I know I wouldn't because I stuck with my Ex who cheated on me up until the point he left me).
It would probably be worth it to bring the two sons into the fold of the family too. It actually might help with the healing process to see them as two unique human beings instead of generic "love children." It would sting, like ripping off a band-aid, but I think it would be best in the long run to get all the truth out. But that might just be me and they way I think and feel.
I would be furious that a man cheated on me in a marriage, and I would probably leave him. But to allow two innocent children to be raised pretty much in exile while he concentrated primarily on his "legitimate" family? My contempt and disgust would know no boundaries. He would not only not be my husband, he wouldn't be someone I acknowledged as human.
No one can know for sure how they would "react" in such a situation until they are actually faced with it.
And much would depend on whether or not there was true repentance on the part of the husband/father.
All of this. A lot would depend on whether he knew about the child, whether he had an affair and how long it lasted if so, stuff like that. I don't think I would reject the child, who would be an adult by now if conceived before we got married. We've been married almost 18 years so there could be a young 20-something out there and we have no idea. Holy ****, it could be one of you people.
Both kids were conceived during the marriage, since they are younger than the 42 years. He actually had paternity tests done and there's no doubt they are his.
I think his mother is really mad because they don't know if he would have told the truth had he not been ill. I told my friend not to be too harsh with his father since he has just come out of a rough time.
If it was a child he didn't tell me about from a previous relationship-I would let it go.
If it was a child conceived from an affair that took place during the duration of our relationship-I would terminate the relationship without a doubt.
The secret child was the age of the OP's friend so they were conceived at the same time.
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