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Old 01-18-2015, 06:03 PM
 
Location: Texas
44,259 posts, read 64,404,948 times
Reputation: 73937

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Quote:
Originally Posted by TimR76 View Post
I somewhat agree, but, a woman that just lies there and does nothing gets boring.

Also, you forgot the FREQUENCY aspect. Bad sex might be fine if you get it every few days, but even good sex sucks if it only happens on your birthday once a year.
Frequency is not something you can determine by having sex before marriage. Again, they're either going to bait and switch you or be willing all the time. You never know what's going to happen just because you had some sex before the marriage. That's why you need to talk about your expectations.
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Old 01-19-2015, 09:23 AM
 
Location: Copenhagen, Denmark
10,930 posts, read 11,734,114 times
Reputation: 13170
These questions have different answers, mostly based on what you are looking for in a relationship, how important sex is to you in a relationship and your beliefs about sex before marriage. Your questions were largely rhetorical - for you - right?
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Old 01-19-2015, 01:07 PM
 
36,563 posts, read 30,900,697 times
Reputation: 32858
Quote:
Originally Posted by stan4 View Post
This whole test driving a car analogy is so freaking stupid. I don't know how boring a lover you are but over the years styles and preferences change a little bit. You try new things. You get kinky sometimes. You're boring sometimes. It is not like trying out a car to see how it drives bc it is an ever-changing, dynamic situation.

As long as you and your woman know that sex is or is not an important part of the package in a marriage, there is no reason you have to "test drive" her.
IDK, I like to at least know its going to start and it wont die on me at inopportune times. And the motor has been kept clean, no residue buildups or major leaks anywhere.
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Old 01-19-2015, 03:31 PM
 
Location: Polynesia
2,704 posts, read 1,832,433 times
Reputation: 4826
Quote:
Originally Posted by stan4 View Post
This whole test driving a car analogy is so freaking stupid. I don't know how boring a lover you are but over the years styles and preferences change a little bit. You try new things. You get kinky sometimes. You're boring sometimes. It is not like trying out a car to see how it drives bc it is an ever-changing, dynamic situation.

As long as you and your woman know that sex is or is not an important part of the package in a marriage, there is no reason you have to "test drive" her.
I agree. Besides, you can't "test drive" a car for years and return it after putting 100,000 miles on it, with scratches and dings, with no more tread on the tires, and say "Thanks for the test drive these past few years but no thanks".
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Old 01-19-2015, 06:32 PM
 
Location: Here
2,887 posts, read 2,637,265 times
Reputation: 1981
Quote:
Originally Posted by Butterflyfish View Post
I agree. Besides, you can't "test drive" a car for years and return it after putting 100,000 miles on it, with scratches and dings, with no more tread on the tires, and say "Thanks for the test drive these past few years but no thanks".
True especially when you want a new car and not something used with over 100K already on it.

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Old 01-20-2015, 03:17 PM
 
Location: Portland, OR
9,855 posts, read 11,940,062 times
Reputation: 10028
In America and in ultra-conservative cultures worldwide, it is common to view pre-marital sex as an abomination. Context should be considered. In those ultra-conservative cultures worldwide, early marriage will be the rule, rather than the exception. No culture (except American) expects young people in their twenties and thirties to be celibate! No culture (except America) expects people in their twenties and thirties to be single! It is IMO bordering on surreal for a woman who has been married for 15 years and raised two kids to high school but is once again single and dating to be raising issues of "sex before marriage". But this happens, in America.

But lets assume you are a typical late teen's, early 20's single doing OLD or just playing hook-up roulette. You are at a supreme disadvantage if you can't or won't put out. You don't have the backing of a culture that supports your POV and helps enforce it. America pays lip service to the concept but leaves young people to it with scant supervision. Natural instincts compete with indoctrination and results in a big mess of drama, dysfunction, murder, suicide, teen and/or unwed pregnancy. It is a wonder anyone comes out of their 20's without PTSD or an incurable STD.
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Old 01-20-2015, 05:40 PM
 
Location: Way up high
22,349 posts, read 29,465,198 times
Reputation: 31511
Old thread but there's no way I wouldn't sleep with someone before getting serious. There's way to many areas for issues there to be a problem for the future.
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Old 01-20-2015, 05:43 PM
 
Location: Middle of the valley
48,540 posts, read 34,904,021 times
Reputation: 73818
Quote:
Originally Posted by 2mares View Post
IDK, I like to at least know its going to start and it wont die on me at inopportune times. And the motor has been kept clean, no residue buildups or major leaks anywhere.
Important to know how fast they go from 0 to 60....

I'm pro-premarital sex, I commit to NOTHING without extensive research.
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Old 01-20-2015, 06:52 PM
 
Location: Oklahoma
535 posts, read 516,080 times
Reputation: 482
Quote:
Originally Posted by Romila View Post

The guys is like YOU HAVE TO HAVE SEX with a person so you know if he is good or not in bed
I'm a girl and this actually sounds pretty logical to me...
I think you have to be sexual with someone to see what they're like in that way .. Just talking about it doesn't do it. Plus if you never have sexual experiences, how do you know what you like and don't like to even talk about it?
Of course I think it's beneficial to have a foundation in friendship, values, goals, interests, etc before going there if you are primarily interested on a LTR, but logically no, I don't think it's possible to really fully know how someone is sexually without being sexual with them
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Old 01-20-2015, 06:54 PM
 
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
41,936 posts, read 36,995,252 times
Reputation: 40635
Quote:
Originally Posted by IfICould View Post
I'm a girl and this actually sounds pretty logical to me...
I think you have to be sexual with someone to see what they're like in that way .. Just talking about it doesn't do it. Plus if you never have sexual experiences, how do you know what you like and don't like to even talk about it?
Of course I think it's beneficial to have a foundation in friendship, values, goals, interests, etc before going there if you are primarily interested on a LTR, but logically no, I don't think it's possible to really fully know how someone is sexually without being sexual with them

It isn't. You can get a feel, but you don't know. And there are two different things. One is whether the person is sensual and good in bed. Two is whether the two of you have sexual chemistry. They are different.
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