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You and I are the same, though if I am given a little time, I can just get over it and move on without the blow-up, etc. I just don't care for the negative energy.
I would be resentful, too, if I were you. Being in a bad mood is no justification for taking the entire family hostage with it. It's completely inconsiderate to continually mope around for days on end. Or, if you are sad or stressed, at least don't make it worse by taking it out on the wrong people. Cuz then you'll feel crappier later when the guilt hits you. Not to mention, I don't feel sorry for your damn bad mood when you are bludgeoning me over the head with it. It makes me a lot LESS sympathetic and inclined to help. And yes...you CAN help it.
You need to talk to him about this. Because you really will grow to resent this more and more until something bad happens.
Something to consider if this is new...is he depressed?
In my opinion, a bad mood should last just as long as it takes to count your blessings. Anything after that is drama and immaturity.
Couldn't rep you so I quoted you.
That's how I would feel...wouldn't tolerate a bad mood for more than a day, although I don't know what I'd actually "do". Usually a good night's sleep helps improve someone's mood.
The fact that her husband can continue for days and weeks indicates a bigger problem than just a bad mood, IMO, and yes it is overly dramatic and not necessary. I'm not sure how to live with a person like that.
In my experience...most men want/need lots of attention...and to feel that they are your priority. This moodiness thing usually occurs when needs aren't met. I usually let the mood level out a bit...then I feel things out. Observe the mojo in the room. I'll go into his domain and attempt to engage in conversation...benign of course and offer up some food he loves in a casual easy-going way. Then...when that starts to mellow him out and soften his mood..i simply sit on his lap...and......for some reason, he's all good and things are fine.
First and foremost is...you must want him to be happy and content. If it's a power struggle...you're screwed. But if it's happiness as a couple...find out what he needs and deliver it. Old School...possibly...but it works...for both parties.
In my experience...most men want/need lots of attention...and to feel that they are your priority. This moodiness thing usually occurs when needs aren't met. I usually let the mood level out a bit...then I feel things out. Observe the mojo in the room. I'll go into his domain and attempt to engage in conversation...benign of course and offer up some food he loves in a casual easy-going way. Then...when that starts to mellow him out and soften his mood..i simply sit on his lap...and......for some reason, he's all good and things are fine.
First and foremost is...you must want him to be happy and content. If it's a power struggle...you're screwed. But if it's happiness as a couple...find out what he needs and deliver it. Old School...possibly...but it works...for both parties.
This is my philosophy on how I function in relationships. I say "yes" whenever I can but not without limitations. It is this combination that defines who I am.
Sometimes it is these limitations that upset people. I don't allow their disappointment to have a big impact on my behavior because I am who I am, not who I should be. There are effective ways in dealing with moody behavior. For me, it was a skill I had to learn.
So if it is in my nature to include people in my activities, I would do the same for my moody loved one. I would ask like I normally do, with a big smile and like I wanted him to be there.
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Originally Posted by Caltovegas
When starting a relationship I get the woman mad about something as soon as possible so I can see the real her..If I don't like what I see it's over real quick.. I've seen nagging and evil women and it's not pretty or fun..
Interesting. I don't get mad easily but if you pushed me to the point of getting mad because you ignored my early cues, I would know that you were testing me.
Everybody has bad moods. I'm okay with that. I'm not okay with people behaving abusively, though, be it emotionally, verbally, physically, whatever. You can have a bad day. But you need to recognize it and not take it out on me.
I also realize that people are human, and bad days DO get taken out on our loved ones from time to time. So, when that happens, I will bring it to your attention, and expect you to change how you are acting toward me accordingly once I've pointed it out. I would expect you would do the same to me on the occasions when I screw up and take a bad day out on you unfairly.
This pretty much sums up my understanding with my SO. He is of the blow his stack and get over it variety, whereas I am of the slow, simmering, sniping little by little variety. I feel that if you commit to somebody, you commit to working out how you communicate. Everyone's got a slightly different style, and it's good to be understanding of that, but it's also important to draw lines on what's unacceptable behavior. It doesn't matter if somebody's in a bad mood...if that person is in a mutually respectful relationship, that needs to be kept in mind. You can't hold people hostage over your bad moods.
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I do have a tendency to get bogged down by my responsibilities and have a hard time relaxing and enjoying the process. I am results oriented, so until my list of things for the day is marked off, I have trouble just BEING. I try to work on this attitude, but apparently haven't mastered it yet.
This is my boyfriend. I imagine it will be an ongoing struggle for him to remember that it's just as important to focus on the process and living life in the spaces that stretch out in between meeting your personal goals and benchmarks. It can't always be about eye on the next prize, and saying, "I'll be happy when I've met blahblahblah goal," because what happens then is you meet that goal, and instead of being happy, you just set a new one further out. Appreciating what you have as much as what you are working toward is something a lot of people have trouble with.
How do you handle your spouse's or SO's bad moods?
I call up Mr. Samuel Adams and Mr. Johnny Walker and the three of us sit around the fire and commiserate over the joys of marriage.
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...for some reason, he's all good and things are fine.
