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This has nothing to do with biology and everything to do with the legality of one's right to choose. As of now, a woman can choose whether or not to have the child and I'll I'm doing is extending that same right to men. If a man doesn't wish to have a child, the woman is free to have her pregnancy like she normally would, but the man should be able to walk away (just like a woman is able to terminate a pregnancy by having an abortion) without any legal ramifications simply because he'd be exercising his right to choose.
By implementing such a law, women would have their right to choose and so would men. I don't see why you're trying to debate this since men and women are supposed to be equals, correct?
I've made the same argument for god knows how long--word for word. The problem is, there is no way that you are going to convince most people that men and women should be treated as "equals" in any and every situation (we've learned that from the "First date" thread). Equality is only as convenient as they want it to be. That's just the way it is.
Men do have a choice. I never understand the guys who claim they don't. You can use a condom and pick a partner who is also using a method of birth control. You can get a vasectomy as a more permanent solution and then you have the Indian RISUG which is not permanent but does last a significant time period.
I don't understand the brainwaves of those who can't see that this can be applied to women as well in making an argument to be against abortion. You can always tell women to utilize various methods of birth control or to get their tubes tied in order to avoid the responsibility of bring a child into this world.
Where I live in the Bronx single mothers is a common everyday occurance and for some a daily struggle. In the South Bronx where I live most homes are headed by single mothers and its more worse for black single mothers whos baby father is probably in jail or somewhere else shooting up or selling drugs sadly these women have no heart because they dont seem to mind what thier lovers do! Children have developmental problems when there are no fathers at home. Boys grow up to go to jail and daugthers end up having children early creating a cycle of poverty. For me I too grew up in a single mother home in one of the poorest congressional districts in the union however I still went to school tried really hard to succeed, I took school activities such as after school to help me with my acedmics, played high school football and other sports. I went to college picking up a liberal arts degree from a community community and earning a BA in criminal justice at a senior college. Im trying to hold off and not having kids because I dont want my kids to live the way I did. Now I see parents in my hood who live the same way they lived single parents and sending thier kids to the same crappy schools they went too. I shake my head when I see this and the sad part there is no fathers involved. I knew from the start living in a single parent home is not normal and its something that I needed to avoid getting older and to take responsiblity when sharing bodies with one another. Sometimes I go on the streets of the Bronx and I see ex couples arguing over child support money which is a very common occurance here in NYC. When I date and meet women many already have kids and are no longer with the babies father, to me thats a turnoff. Single mothers have two boyfriends Jesus to pray too and the government for handouts, this is what I see here in NYC.
Excellent post.
I grew up with both parents, I grew up with a mom who could stay home and have dinner on the table every night, and a dad who would get us up early to go fishing, we had many family vacations, visited state and national parks, went camping several times a year.
Dads are great to have, it's one thing for the single women to want to be mommies but they aren't considering the needs of the child.
I am all about there being 2 parents. It's a lot of work. There's a lot of stress. I can't wrap my head around the idea of doing it by yourself.
I think kids benefit from having more than one point of view. 2 people can mean twice as much learning and new experiences.
I can already see the dichotomy forming with our 12 week old...my wife is very doting and sweet and gentle...and I am already roughhousing a little (he loves to kick and grab and punch) and mentally (bc he's still a tiny baby, for god's sake) I am already watching for signs that he's being spoiled or that he's figuring out ways to get his way, etc.
I have all the good 80s cartoons on dvd ready for him, old school Disney movies...I have sports toys, my favorite children's books...he'll be my ocean buddy (my wife doesn't like free diving that much), my dirt bike buddy, my shooting buddy (though she likes that, too), my basketball buddy, my tennis buddy, my golf buddy (though my wife likes that, too)...we can all play video games together...and I can teach him how to cook. He can be my car show buddy (snoozefest, per my wife).
She works 5 days a week, and I only work 14 days a month...*I* will be his primary care giver when she goes back to work, and I can't wait. I tease her that she'll be at work and we'll be in Paris, enjoying croissants and the Louvre. Lol!!!!
I am all about there being 2 parents. It's a lot of work. There's a lot of stress. I can't wrap my head around the idea of doing it by yourself.
I think kids benefit from having more than one point of view. 2 people can mean twice as much learning and new experiences.
I can already see the dichotomy forming with our 12 week old...my wife is very doting and sweet and gentle...and I am already roughhousing a little (he loves to kick and grab and punch) and mentally (bc he's still a tiny baby, for god's sake) I am already watching for signs that he's being spoiled or that he's figuring out ways to get his way, etc.
I have all the good 80s cartoons on dvd ready for him, old school Disney movies...I have sports toys, my favorite children's books...he'll be my ocean buddy (my wife doesn't like free diving that much), my dirt bike buddy, my shooting buddy (though she likes that, too), my basketball buddy, my tennis buddy, my golf buddy (though my wife likes that, too)...we can all play video games together...and I can teach him how to cook. He can be my car show buddy (snoozefest, per my wife).
She works 5 days a week, and I only work 14 days a month...*I* will be his primary care giver when she goes back to work, and I can't wait. I tease her that she'll be at work and we'll be in Paris, enjoying croissants and the Louvre. Lol!!!!
I don't have anything new to add from the subject to my previous posts here, But congratulations on the new child and all the best for your family.
I am all about there being 2 parents. It's a lot of work. There's a lot of stress. I can't wrap my head around the idea of doing it by yourself.
I think kids benefit from having more than one point of view. 2 people can mean twice as much learning and new experiences.
I can already see the dichotomy forming with our 12 week old...my wife is very doting and sweet and gentle...and I am already roughhousing a little (he loves to kick and grab and punch) and mentally (bc he's still a tiny baby, for god's sake) I am already watching for signs that he's being spoiled or that he's figuring out ways to get his way, etc.
I have all the good 80s cartoons on dvd ready for him, old school Disney movies...I have sports toys, my favorite children's books...he'll be my ocean buddy (my wife doesn't like free diving that much), my dirt bike buddy, my shooting buddy (though she likes that, too), my basketball buddy, my tennis buddy, my golf buddy (though my wife likes that, too)...we can all play video games together...and I can teach him how to cook. He can be my car show buddy (snoozefest, per my wife).
She works 5 days a week, and I only work 14 days a month...*I* will be his primary care giver when she goes back to work, and I can't wait. I tease her that she'll be at work and we'll be in Paris, enjoying croissants and the Louvre. Lol!!!!
Oh how I agree with you. The hubby has had to go away on business a few times since our little man has been born - and let me tell you - it was hard work taking care of the little one by myself! I don't know how single mothers do it - especially in the beginning. Those first couple months when you have to feed the little guy every few hours around the clock - I don't know how anyone can go through that by themselves.
In addition to that - I don't know how single mothers who don't have successful careers do it at all. Childcare is crazy expensive - so how do you make enough money to pay for childcare and pay your other bills like rent, food, etc. I just don't know how people do it.
"Outside of marriage" shouldn't bother people as much as "outside of a stable relationship". Better a kid be born to an unmarried, stable, committed couple, than inside of a volatile marriage (which happens all the time).
This is true. The problem is when there's no relationship at all. As someone with three kids, I can tell you right now what a huge investment it is in time, energy, and money. And if you have a child without a partner, everything gets a good deal tougher.
That's not to say that it can't be done. But the odds of doing it well get considerably longer.
It's sad that young single mothers think they are independent because they are raising the child on their own, yet mother and child depend on tax payers for basic needs.
Personally, I think it's careless and selfish to have a child you can't afford.
I did not read any posts throughout this thread but based on what I've read from the article, they are talking about women who had unplanned pregnancies. It's not like these women went out there to get pregnant. I don't think this article paints a fair picture across the board. The article focuses on ethnicities, financial and education status, not to mention it's only focusing on only one city in Ohio. What I found alarming was "Others noted that if they married, their official household income would rise, which could cost them government benefits like food stamps and child care." Why should tax payers keep supporting women who don't take responsibility and stop popping out kids? A box of condoms is $5. Having 1 or more kids costs a heck of a lot more.
Of course two married parents are best. It's more of a societal thing, but children have to live in our society.
On the other end of the spectrum theres the single woman with kids by mulitple fathers who has to live with the societal stigma.
Right or wrong, it's the world we live in.
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