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Good for you. Grieve the loss of the relationship and move forward. He will be an alcoholic all his life, there is no cure for his disease, it is just a matter of whether he is sober or not...that's it.
It will take time for you to recover from codependency and understanding that you are worth so much more in a relationship than he will ever be able to offer you.
you shouldn't go back to him he is obviously no good like the rest. you give him another chance and he will just run all over you like he did before. anytime you try and give them a chance they prove you wrong and crap all over you again.
Exactly! Been there, done that, made stupid mistake.
in the end it's not worth it, i learned a long time ago, they just do the same things over and over again. keep crapping all over you until you learn to know better.
... I am on my own now, and I am so lonely. I miss the jerk. And I still love him, although I know I can never trust him and I need to move on. I just don't know how to get over the hurt and disappointment.
Quote:
Originally Posted by JanND
... realize while you can love someone, you are grieving what should have been, what you hoped he might have been if things were the way they should have been in a healthy mutually supportive relationship. The man you left wasn't the person you wanted....
Jan nailed it with this.
You miss and love what you once had with him, what you thought you had or what you'd hoped for. I doubt you really love what he's become.
I went through these feelings with my ex years ago. I hated what our relationship had become for years, but I loved her. Then I asked myself what it was about her that I loved. Very little. What I loved about her had changed. I loved who she was when we were married, but she was no longer that person. Once I realized that, it was very easy to let go.
Big hug to you! Now, I recommend starting to get busy with some yoga classes, or any type of social activity that gets you busy. I also think you should spend at least six months or more taking a break from looking for another relationship, and just get comfortable with being alone. Once you are okay with that, then you are ready to have a relationship.
You deserve better. Kudos for the first painful step to self love. Many of us have been there, and experienced the pain, heartbreak, lonliness... Thanks for the update. Sending you positive energy, and love.
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