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I know I do not date single mothers -- because of the tremendous amounts of time, effort, money and resources Asian parents typically put into raising children. Spending huge amounts of time, effort, money and resources into raising somebody else' children is not mature nor wise. It is stupid.
My parents spent hundreds of thousands of dollars to send me to the best private schools and an Ivy League school. That's a quarter of a million dollars that my parents could have put into their own retirement. In Asian cultures, parents can expect children to take care of them and pay them back so they can retire comfortably when they get old. On the other than, parents cannot expect somebody else' bloods to do that.
I have seen old white men who have spent a lot of money into raising kids fathered by other men because they married single mothers. Often they are divorced from those single mothers later, and now they live in poverty because they used their money on somebody else' kids, money that they could have put into their own savings and retirement. Those kids are some other guys' blood, so they do not feel obligated to take care of the men who had spent the money and efforts into taking care of them. That is just sad.
Of course, women would say, "if you love her then you would love her kids, then you would spend that kind of money on her kids." But isn't that immature? After all, being mature is being able to control your emotions and feelings (like love) and think wisely about the future, think ahead of time, and make plans for the future (like for your retirement.) Men who allow women to manipulate their emotions and feelings (like love and sexual urge) into overriding their rational thoughts are just immature and stupid.
So, Asian men: do you date single mothers? If so, why???
Of course, women would say, "if you love her then you would love her kids, then you would spend that kind of money on her kids." But isn't that immature?
I am going to bite on this one even though it screams of the "guy under the bridge in a children's fairy tale". I wouldnt say its immature, but it is DEFINITELY STUPID. The father should be paying for that not the "other guy". If there is no father then that tells you a lot about the woman anyway and just proves she is nothing more than just bangable material. NOT relationship material.
The whole concept of "blood" goes out the window when you adopt children doesn't it?
You adopt a child and raise it as your own, are you going to tell me that Asians are not accustomed to adopting children?
Lets not confuse "adopting" with dating a chick with a kid. HUGE HUGE HUGE difference. Not just not same ballpark, not even the same game.
My wife is the ONLY woman I EVER dated who had a kid. Thing is, she was a divorced mom with joint custody. Kid was with her 3 days of the week, and was with his dad 4 days of the week. Kid had a dad. Dad is a great father who loves his son so there was NEVER any "Oh, my and my kid" stuff going on. I tell my wife now just as I told her back then that if she were a single parent with full custody of the kid, I would NEVER have considered her for anything more than just a hot chick to try to bang. NOTHING more. Sure there are Ned Flanders' type guys out there who may want to cuddle, hold, "adopt" and go on vacation with some chick's kids, but not me. She's lucky that we had our Friday, Saturday and Sunday nights alone together where we could go on little mini vacations without her kid.
I think unless a guy is dead or doing a very large jail bid it's the man's responsibility to take care of his kids. I'm not Asian but I've seen a few instances when kids found out the father they always thought was the father wasn't and the first thing they wanted to do was find a man they never knew as daddy.
So I think if serious dating and marriage is in the picture wait until the kids are adults (18). One major factor is age.. Thinking gets different basically every ten years.. Ask someone 25 what they think and then ask someone 35 and life experience will give two different perspectives.
Lets not confuse "adopting" with dating a chick with a kid. HUGE HUGE HUGE difference. Not just not same ballpark, not even the same game.
My wife is the ONLY woman I EVER dated who had a kid. Thing is, she was a divorced mom with joint custody. Kid was with her 3 days of the week, and was with his dad 4 days of the week. Kid had a dad. Dad is a great father who loves his son so there was NEVER any "Oh, my and my kid" stuff going on. I tell my wife now just as I told her back then that if she were a single parent with full custody of the kid, I would NEVER have considered her for anything more than just a hot chick to try to bang. NOTHING more. Sure there are Ned Flanders' type guys out there who may want to cuddle, hold, "adopt" and go on vacation with some chick's kids, but not me. She's lucky that we had our Friday, Saturday and Sunday nights alone together where we could go on little mini vacations without her kid.
Totally agree
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