Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
I'm not to sure what to make of my feelings of jealousy in my relationship. I've never been a jealous person before my marriage ended and don't know how to deal or discuss this with my partner. Mostly it started by me reading things on his facebook profile that i didn't quite think were appropriate for someone in a relationship to say. Like suggesting another women give him a blowjob, may have been just a joke, but I don't know that (or her) and I'm pretty sure he would take offense if I suggested something similar to a male friend. Plus recently there have been times when we've done intimate things and then I've found out he was looking at porn right before. I'm not a prude, and I realize that guys look, but the fact that it was right before makes me feel used and bad. Like it was only that good cause he wasn't thinking of me. I also have found links on the computer suggesting he has participated in live chats/ shows. I can't prove he's logged in to them cause they require a password, but I can find the links in "history". If I confront him and tell him I've looked this stuff up, and he can give me a reasonable explanation, then either I look crazy, or he learns to cover up better. Do I have a problem with trust, or do I have legit issues? He's great otherwise, is supportive, buys me ice cream when I'm sad, helps with the kids, tells me he loves me, and I'm beautiful. Helps me in every other way I can think of. I don't want to ruin the relationship simply because I'm paranoid. By the way, these things have been over the past year, not all at once. Any insight would be great, thanks in advance. R
Location: Everybody is going to hurt you, you just gotta find the ones worth suffering for-B Marley
9,516 posts, read 20,047,028 times
Reputation: 9419
Quote:
Originally Posted by Reenbabe
I'm not to sure what to make of my feelings of jealousy in my relationship. I've never been a jealous person before my marriage ended and don't know how to deal or discuss this with my partner. Mostly it started by me reading things on his facebook profile that i didn't quite think were appropriate for someone in a relationship to say. Like suggesting another women give him a blowjob, may have been just a joke, but I don't know that (or her) and I'm pretty sure he would take offense if I suggested something similar to a male friend. Plus recently there have been times when we've done intimate things and then I've found out he was looking at porn right before. I'm not a prude, and I realize that guys look, but the fact that it was right before makes me feel used and bad. Like it was only that good cause he wasn't thinking of me. I also have found links on the computer suggesting he has participated in live chats/ shows. I can't prove he's logged in to them cause they require a password, but I can find the links in "history". If I confront him and tell him I've looked this stuff up, and he can give me a reasonable explanation, then either I look crazy, or he learns to cover up better. Do I have a problem with trust, or do I have legit issues? He's great otherwise, is supportive, buys me ice cream when I'm sad, helps with the kids, tells me he loves me, and I'm beautiful. Helps me in every other way I can think of. I don't want to ruin the relationship simply because I'm paranoid. By the way, these things have been over the past year, not all at once. Any insight would be great, thanks in advance. R
Oh hell no. The bolded is all I needed to hear and would be enough for me to put some immediate distance between us. I'd have no desire to listen to his excuses and 'It was a joke' bs. That's the kind of thing that gives you enough reason to find out what ever way you can what you've gotten yourself into and decide if you want to continue. To hell with this invading his privacy BS. His privacy isn't more important than your right to respect and all that's expected of someone in an exclusive relationship.
Staying after finding something like that would make me feel like I was settling for less than I deserve. I'll never be that hard up for a man.
I'm not to sure what to make of my feelings of jealousy in my relationship. I've never been a jealous person before my marriage ended and don't know how to deal or discuss this with my partner. Mostly it started by me reading things on his facebook profile that i didn't quite think were appropriate for someone in a relationship to say. Like suggesting another women give him a blowjob, may have been just a joke, but I don't know that (or her) and I'm pretty sure he would take offense if I suggested something similar to a male friend. Plus recently there have been times when we've done intimate things and then I've found out he was looking at porn right before. I'm not a prude, and I realize that guys look, but the fact that it was right before makes me feel used and bad. Like it was only that good cause he wasn't thinking of me. I also have found links on the computer suggesting he has participated in live chats/ shows. I can't prove he's logged in to them cause they require a password, but I can find the links in "history". If I confront him and tell him I've looked this stuff up, and he can give me a reasonable explanation, then either I look crazy, or he learns to cover up better. Do I have a problem with trust, or do I have legit issues? He's great otherwise, is supportive, buys me ice cream when I'm sad, helps with the kids, tells me he loves me, and I'm beautiful. Helps me in every other way I can think of. I don't want to ruin the relationship simply because I'm paranoid. By the way, these things have been over the past year, not all at once. Any insight would be great, thanks in advance. R
did you ask him why he wants a BJ from someone? and why he needs or wants to watch porn? we can sit here and guess at why he does what he does but the answer needs to come from him.
Either way ...you should try to find out where you stand before too much time passes and you start to resent his actions more and more.
I'm not to sure what to make of my feelings of jealousy in my relationship. I've never been a jealous person before my marriage ended and don't know how to deal or discuss this with my partner. Mostly it started by me reading things on his facebook profile that i didn't quite think were appropriate for someone in a relationship to say. Like suggesting another women give him a blowjob, may have been just a joke, but I don't know that (or her) and I'm pretty sure he would take offense if I suggested something similar to a male friend. Plus recently there have been times when we've done intimate things and then I've found out he was looking at porn right before. I'm not a prude, and I realize that guys look, but the fact that it was right before makes me feel used and bad. Like it was only that good cause he wasn't thinking of me. I also have found links on the computer suggesting he has participated in live chats/ shows. I can't prove he's logged in to them cause they require a password, but I can find the links in "history". If I confront him and tell him I've looked this stuff up, and he can give me a reasonable explanation, then either I look crazy, or he learns to cover up better. Do I have a problem with trust, or do I have legit issues? He's great otherwise, is supportive, buys me ice cream when I'm sad, helps with the kids, tells me he loves me, and I'm beautiful. Helps me in every other way I can think of. I don't want to ruin the relationship simply because I'm paranoid. By the way, these things have been over the past year, not all at once. Any insight would be great, thanks in advance. R
You're making a lot of excuses and not wanting to see the truth. I bolded it up above. That is not typical or a joke, that is pure idiocy. Sorry to be so blunt but it is what it is. There are other men out there or be alone and learn to enjoy it rather than be with a guy like this.
I'm not to sure what to make of my feelings of jealousy in my relationship. I've never been a jealous person before my marriage ended and don't know how to deal or discuss this with my partner. Mostly it started by me reading things on his facebook profile that i didn't quite think were appropriate for someone in a relationship to say. Like suggesting Another women give him a blowjob , may have been just a joke, but I don't know that (or her) and I'm pretty sure he would take offense if I suggested something similar to a male friend. Plus recently there have been times when we've done intimate things and then I've found out he was looking at porn right before. I'm not a prude, and I realize that guys look, but the fact that it was right before makes me feel used and bad. Like it was only that good cause he wasn't thinking of me. I also have found links on the computer suggesting he has participated in live chats/ shows. I can't prove he's logged in to them cause they require a password, but I can find the links in "history". If I confront him and tell him I've looked this stuff up, and he can give me a reasonable explanation, then either I look crazy, or he learns to cover up better. Do I have a problem with trust, or do I have legit issues? He's great otherwise, is supportive, buys me ice cream when I'm sad, helps with the kids, tells me he loves me, and I'm beautiful. Helps me in every other way I can think of. I don't want to ruin the relationship simply because I'm paranoid. By the way, these things have been over the past year, not all at once. Any insight would be great, thanks in advance. R
The only problem I see you having is being afraid of talking with him about these issues. I would not tolerate for one second his FB posting about wanting a bj; that is beyond ludicrous.
As I heard one time: boys make excuses; men make changes. You'll know which he is when you talk with him. Or maybe it will end up talk 'to him' as he may just give you the 'deer in the headlight', or may present as angry for you giving him the third degree.
I have question... Does he only buy you ice cream after you've given him a BJ ? A real man would buy you some before.
Actually if I was him I'd probably dump you for snooping into my computer. You've not given us his history which makes a big difference. If he's a long term single guy who's been doing this for years, it's a normal part of his life. Being a normal part of his life and he's not willing to change after you've told him you don't like it, then he's not really into you.
I could expand on the quality of good or bad BJ theory, but will leave that for another day.
I have question... Does he only buy you ice cream after you've given him a BJ ? A real man would buy you some before.
Is that ALL it takes these days to get a BJ is some ice cream??? If so I need to run to the store!
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
, may have been just a joke, but I don't know that (or her) and I'm pretty sure he would take offense if I suggested something similar to a male friend. Plus recently there have been times when we've done intimate things and then I've found out he was looking at porn right before. I'm not a prude, and I realize that guys look, but the fact that it was right before makes me feel used and bad. Like it was only that good cause he wasn't thinking of me. I also have found links on the computer suggesting he has participated in live chats/ shows. I can't prove he's logged in to them cause they require a password, but I can find the links in "history". If I confront him and tell him I've looked this stuff up, and he can give me a reasonable explanation, then either I look crazy, or he learns to cover up better. Do I have a problem with trust, or do I have legit issues? He's great otherwise, is supportive, buys me ice cream when I'm sad, helps with the kids, tells me he loves me, and I'm beautiful. Helps me in every other way I can think of. I don't want to ruin the relationship simply because I'm paranoid. By the way, these things have been over the past year, not all at once. Any insight would be great, thanks in advance. R
If so I need to run to the store!
