Really bizarre date (dating, woman, dance, jealous)
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So.. Has anyone been in a situation where you are on a date, and suddenly your date announces that s/he has another upcoming date next week?
Yesterday I went on a 2nd date with this guy I met on Match (first date was Friday and it was so much fun), and this is what happened. He said he has been talking to another lady on the same site and they will probably have a date this week, and asked if I was okay with that! I mean, WTH?? One of the guys sitting at the next table stood up and came over to give me a hug and asked if I was okay! No kidding. I honestly felt humiliated. My date goes on to apologize for being loud but he expects me to understand his position.
So of course, I say yes, it's fine, have fun or whatever. Then I just stay quiet trying to calmly digest the conversation, so he now thinks I'm upset. Anyhow, we eventually ended hanging out together from 3pm until midnight. We later visited a dance club where we had lots of fun and danced nonstop. Later on as he was dropping me off, he said he doesn't want to have this much fun with anyone else anymore. Talk about some serious confusion.
Today his routine continued like nothing happened. A good morning email to see if I'm okay and to wish me a "good day."
I'm kind of puzzled why he had to announce his other date though. I guess at this stage we can still see other people and it's fine, but why did he have to tell me? Is he playing mind games? He's a great catch to be honest, so I wouldn't mind keeping him to myself but anyway, whatever happens happens.
So I'm sort of having mixed feelings right now. Is he playing games and should I be upset over that?? Should I applaud him for being honest? Should just relax and go with the flow?
It sounds to me like he is doing a little bit of bragging. Hes also probably trying to gauge your reactions to see if you get jealous. If you do, this would further confirm that your "into" him. He also might actually feel kind of concerned that you would feel betrayed if he went and saw her after he had a successful date with you. If I were you, I would let it go for now. Tell him you dont expect him to let you know when he is seeing others.
As long as I am not dating someone officially, I assume nothing about them only seeing me.
I have been told the same thing-it doesn't bother me because I don't believe in putting all my eggs in one basket after only a few dates either.
Bragging, insecure, serial dater, who knows?
Plus if he is so loud people at another table heard him and one guy came over and gave you a hug? Too funny Miss Lucky.
Personally, I would have been checking out the "hugger" myself and forgetting Mr. Big Mouth . . . just saying . . .
How awkward!! Obviously after only 2 dates you probably aren't going to be exclusive, but I think it's in poor taste to announce your other dates to someone. I've dated more than one guy at a time and I would never ever tell them about each other. Until you both mutually decide not to date anyone else, then it's fair game to date whoever you want, but you don't rub the other person's face in it.
Bragging, insecure, serial dater, who knows?
Plus if he is so loud people at another table heard him and one guy came over and gave you a hug? Too funny Miss Lucky.
Personally, I would have been checking out the "hugger" myself and forgetting Mr. Big Mouth . . . just saying . . .
SOne of the guys sitting at the next table stood up and came over to give me a hug and asked if I was okay! :
You should start dating THAT guy! What an awesome dude.
But seriously, could be anything from a bit of social awkwardness to trying to make you jealous to insecurity and a need to build himself up. If you are having fun with him I wouldn't worry about it too much, but keep an eye out for anything else that fits into a pattern. I've always considered it a given that if I meet someone on a dating site they are dating more than one person.
If it comes up again I would tell him that you would have been happy to be exclusive because you enjoy his company so much, but that as he is continuing to date, you will do the same and you assume he will be ok with that also.
Say it matter of factly - it puts your cards on the table without trapping him and also let's him know that you are not the kind of woman who will sit around waiting for him to decide if he wants you.
So.. Has anyone been in a situation where you are on a date, and suddenly your date announces that s/he has another upcoming date next week?
Yesterday I went on a 2nd date with this guy I met on Match (first date was Friday and it was so much fun), and this is what happened. He said he has been talking to another lady on the same site and they will probably have a date this week, and asked if I was okay with that! I mean, WTH?? One of the guys sitting at the next table stood up and came over to give me a hug and asked if I was okay! No kidding. I honestly felt humiliated. My date goes on to apologize for being loud but he expects me to understand his position.
So of course, I say yes, it's fine, have fun or whatever. Then I just stay quiet trying to calmly digest the conversation, so he now thinks I'm upset. Anyhow, we eventually ended hanging out together from 3pm until midnight. We later visited a dance club where we had lots of fun and danced nonstop. Later on as he was dropping me off, he said he doesn't want to have this much fun with anyone else anymore. Talk about some serious confusion.
Today his routine continued like nothing happened. A good morning email to see if I'm okay and to wish me a "good day."
I'm kind of puzzled why he had to announce his other date though. I guess at this stage we can still see other people and it's fine, but why did he have to tell me? Is he playing mind games? He's a great catch to be honest, so I wouldn't mind keeping him to myself but anyway, whatever happens happens.
So I'm sort of having mixed feelings right now. Is he playing games and should I be upset over that?? Should I applaud him for being honest? Should just relax and go with the flow?
Obviously you both have other folks you have been communcating w/ if you are both on a dating website. I think he should be commended for being honest, if a little tacky in how he told you. You probably reacted a little dramatically if a stranger came over to comfort you. Honestly, if you are both on a dating site, did you expect him to nly have one response, one person to choose from?? I think if you like him, get over this, let it go til you hear about how his other date went. Be a sport, that is what online dating entails. Now, if you had been together for months, in a sexual relationship, then his having another date would be off-limits etc. But this is just an awkward situation, part of the new social situations w/ online dating. If it is a deal breaker for you for him to follow-up w/ this other date, than you owe it to him to be just as forthright and tell him so. If you both hit it off like you've described you probably do not have anything to worry about, on the contrary, it may just seal the deal...He may go out and find himself comparing her to you on all aspects. Relax. Give him your blessings so it won't be a big deal....otherwise you'll never know now if you guilt him.
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