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While I do not support Santorum and other similar Christian Right goons, I still have some socially conservative views. The difference is I have no interest in legislating or passing laws that regulate behavior. I can still comment on behavior I do not agree with. Here goes, I am not a cohabitation person. Some guy who just was released from jail meets up with a woman and moves in with her. I understand he knew her before, but even so this is ridiculous. Even more ridiculous is a dude who met some woman online from across the country and within weeks they are moving in together. What is the rush? Why do people just jump the gun and start shacking up. I will never do it. Even if I am in a serious relationship, you have your place, and I have mine. Of course I'll have sex, but no permanent living arrangement will be agreed upon until there is an actual commitment leading to marriage.
While I do not support Santorum and other similar Christian Right goons, I still have some socially conservative views. The difference is I have no interest in legislating or passing laws that regulate behavior. I can still comment on behavior I do not agree with. Here goes, I am not a cohabitation person. Some guy who just was released from jail meets up with a woman and moves in with her. I understand he knew her before, but even so this is ridiculous. Even more ridiculous is a dude who met some woman online from across the country and within weeks they are moving in together. What is the rush? Why do people just jump the gun and start shacking up. I will never do it. Even if I am in a serious relationship, you have your place, and I have mine. Of course I'll have sex, but no permanent living arrangement will be agreed upon until there is an actual commitment leading to marriage.
most of these people out there are into 'playing house,' 'shacking up,' or however you want to call it. It really is the 'in' thing to do today. Men have discovered they can more easily weasel their way out of this situation as opposed to marriage, which would really take a lot more effort on their part to cut loose from. Any woman OK with this living arrangement is a braver woman then I. I know a woman whose bf kicked her out when he found a new gf, she had given up her apartment the year before and everything. Had to move in with her mother temporarily. Stupid! A lot of these people end up living with this one for 4 years then moving on and living with that one for 8 years. Revolving door, no stability for them or the kids (if they have them). Sometimes I know a woman will live with a guy for 10 years and hope he is going to marry her. LOL. My mom used to say: Why buy the cow...yea, you know. Unlikely I'll get married at this point, but I would never agree to that kind of arrangement, I'm with the OP, without a marriage certificate. I've had guys actually LOL at this idea about not living together for years before marriage. It's a joke to them. I don't care. I'll keep a roof over my head instead of playing those odds.
most of these people out there are into 'playing house,' 'shacking up,' or however you want to call it. It really is the 'in' thing to do today. Men have discovered they can more easily weasel their way out of this situation as opposed to marriage, which would really take a lot more effort on their part to cut loose from. Any woman OK with this living arrangement is a braver woman then I. I know a woman whose bf kicked her out when he found a new gf, she had given up her apartment the year before and everything. Had to move in with her mother temporarily. Stupid! A lot of these people end up living with this one for 4 years then moving on and living with that one for 8 years. Revolving door, no stability for them or the kids (if they have them). Sometimes I know a woman will live with a guy for 10 years and hope he is going to marry her. LOL. My mom used to say: Why buy the cow...yea, you know. Unlikely I'll get married at this point, but I would never agree to that kind of arrangement, I'm with the OP, without a marriage certificate. I've had guys actually LOL at this idea about not living together for years before marriage. It's a joke to them. I don't care. I'll keep a roof over my head instead of playing those odds.
My daughter and her boyfriend shared an apartment for a year, but they were engaged (they are now married and bought a house). She says she would not have had that arrangement if they hadn't been serious about getting married. Her boyfriend's (now husband's) mother? She would have disowned him if he had planned on "shacking up" with my daughter for ten years or more. We (DH and I) were far more accepting of the year's arrangement than she was.
Marriage is a big step, though, as is divorce (I worked for an attorney for ten years). We've had clients who after 20 years of marriage thought they could just get it "annulled" (which doesn't work in this state, unless the parties are blood relatives, certified insane, etc.) Some thought it would just involve preparing an order, taking it to the courthouse for a judge's signature, and voila, you're divorced. Asset and debt division and settlement negotiations can be brutal (and costly). In some divorce cases, the parties racked up thousands of dollars in additional attorney's fees on top of the initial retainer (a no-fault divorce retainer was $850.00, and they were RARELY no-fault), to the tune of $150.00 per hour (and the attorney I worked for was adept at padding the hours).
While I do not support Santorum and other similar Christian Right goons, I still have some socially conservative views. The difference is I have no interest in legislating or passing laws that regulate behavior. I can still comment on behavior I do not agree with. Here goes, I am not a cohabitation person. Some guy who just was released from jail meets up with a woman and moves in with her. I understand he knew her before, but even so this is ridiculous. Even more ridiculous is a dude who met some woman online from across the country and within weeks they are moving in together. What is the rush? Why do people just jump the gun and start shacking up. I will never do it. Even if I am in a serious relationship, you have your place, and I have mine. Of course I'll have sex, but no permanent living arrangement will be agreed upon until there is an actual commitment leading to marriage.
Location: Huntersville/Charlotte, NC and Washington, DC
26,709 posts, read 41,870,976 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by John13
I'm open to the possibility of "shacking up."
Marriage - no. I made that mistake once already.
I agree.
I'd also check the laws on cohabitation in your state, because knowing how liberal Maryland is they may have some type of common law marriage configuration that kicks in after a few years.
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