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A few years ago I went on a "family vacation" with my mother and her then new boyfriend whom I never met before. Things didn't go well. He tried to boss me around and acted extremely territorial to the point that I took an overnight greyhound to my uncle's place. Since then my mother and I have been at odds. She basically believes whatever he say 100% saying that "he is the most honest person I've ever met" to which I'm staggered in disbelief at her naivete. She also insists that any meeting between us include the BF who incidentally lives with her even though they have no intentions to marry (she wants to keep the money coming in from her deceased husband's retirement). She is the same way with my grandmother in that if they meet for lunch the BF has to go along too..........even though most of the time he says virtually nothing.
So now do I cave in and pretend to accept the BF just to spend time with my mom or do I continue as I have and see her once a year at her workplace?
What a piece of work your mom is. Still taking the dead retirement money while living her new "man"? WOW....yeah that sounds about right.
Why do you even want a relationship with her? She basically rejected you and chose her bf over you.
I know it's difficult but you need to move on from needing momma in your life.
Love the part about smoking everywhere. That alone is an objective detail about his character. I'd avoid the situation completely and wait till your mom gets tired of him or when he's bored with her. Then you and she can do things on your own again.
Wow, how sad that your mom would choose a guy over her own child
I'm sorry for your pain.
I would do whatever you are most comfortable doing. If you really miss her and would rather see her, then suck it up and do what it takes to make that happen.
The important thing is to take actions you can live with without regret.
Good luck.
Have you ever seen a movie called "Bastard out of Carolina?" A tale of a mother choosing a guy over her kids. But with very tragic consequences!
A few years ago I went on a "family vacation" with my mother and her then new boyfriend whom I never met before. Things didn't go well. He tried to boss me around and acted extremely territorial to the point that I took an overnight greyhound to my uncle's place. Since then my mother and I have been at odds. She basically believes whatever he say 100% saying that "he is the most honest person I've ever met" to which I'm staggered in disbelief at her naivete. She also insists that any meeting between us include the BF who incidentally lives with her even though they have no intentions to marry (she wants to keep the money coming in from her deceased husband's retirement). She is the same way with my grandmother in that if they meet for lunch the BF has to go along too..........even though most of the time he says virtually nothing.
So now do I cave in and pretend to accept the BF just to spend time with my mom or do I continue as I have and see her once a year at her workplace?
How old and how educated are all the parties involved?
I would say that if you are young, get a counsel for the three of you. You're not going to find your 'one' solution on this forum as people need indepth profiling of each party involved to give you any valuable advice.
However, if you mom is staying with homeboy and stating her status as single so that she can receive the benefits of her late husband...this doesn't spell too well for her personal developement as a person, her maturity and the legality of her choices.
How old and how educated are all the parties involved?
I would say that if you are young, get a counsel for the three of you. You're not going to find your 'one' solution on this forum as people need indepth profiling of each party involved to give you any valuable advice.
However, if you mom is staying with homeboy and stating her status as single so that she can receive the benefits of her late husband...this doesn't spell too well for her personal developement as a person, her maturity and the legality of her choices.
good luck!
Age and education do not always make a difference with some people. Some of the best educated older humans I know are idiots when it comes to real life situations. They lack knowledge from learning from their mistakes in real life and they lack common sense as well. Maturity does not happen at a specified chronological age or just because you have greated with a Phd and have other degrees that tell others you are book smart. When you are mature and stree smart, have common sense that you use throught your lifetime and learn from the mistakes you have made, that is when you have become older and wiser.
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