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My sister just got married to a guy with a pre- teen daughter. She has never had kids herself. This guy's ex wife is really berating her about what kind of influence she needs to be and basically does not believe she can "do the job." The ex has so far been pretty manipulative in her approach. I am not sure if it's jealousy or just concern for her child. Sis is a great influence with this girl from what I have witnessed.
Any advice from ya'll?
Location: Everybody is going to hurt you, you just gotta find the ones worth suffering for-B Marley
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Or, let me put it this way. If I were the new-comer....if my new husband had kids and an ex-wife, I'd do my best to maintain the wishes of the parents and not presume to over-ride either. It would not be my place. I'd tell the ex let me know so I don't seem like I'm trying to minimize your role. We don't need to be friends but we can agree for the kids' sake.
Or, let me put it this way. If I were the new-comer....if my new husband had kids and an ex-wife, I'd do my best to maintain the wishes of the parents and not presume to over-ride either. It would not be my place. I'd tell the ex let me know so I don't seem like I'm trying to minimize your role. We don't need to be friends but we can agree for the kids' sake.
Ok, yes, I totally agree with this. This girl has a mom and a dad, and her role needs to be "other," but still, I think her role should be respected.
My sister just got married to a guy with a pre- teen daughter. She has never had kids herself. This guy's ex wife is really berating her about what kind of influence she needs to be and basically does not believe she can "do the job." The ex has so far been pretty manipulative in her approach. I am not sure if it's jealousy or just concern for her child. Sis is a great influence with this girl from what I have witnessed.
Any advice from ya'll?
Her husband should make sure he is the one dealing with his ex, not your sister.
When there is occasion that your sister has to be face to face with the mom tell her to just be cordial and polite.
It's not easy to share your child with another woman - so she may be feeling territorial. In addition, she just wants to be sure that people her daughter is exposed to have her best interests at heart.
If your sister takes the high road and stays polite things should work out just fine in time
great post. unmarried guys-- please read this post over and over.
she has not let go and feels she has a right to say what goes on in your home regarding the kids.
think real hard about getting married w/o a prenup.
especially about the kids.
Last edited by Huckleberry3911948; 03-19-2012 at 02:12 PM..
Location: Everybody is going to hurt you, you just gotta find the ones worth suffering for-B Marley
9,516 posts, read 20,007,791 times
Reputation: 9418
But a lot of times the new wife is so insecure about the ex she tries her hardest to over-ride the mother's rules, whether to gain favor with the child or what...I don't know. But it's a common problem that the new spouse often tries to drive a wedge between the ex and child. I'm an ex wife who tried to stay civil with her ex but the new woman got so jealous it destroyed her relationship with my ex just when I had to drop the kids off to him. And I didn't even get out of the car! I know that wasn't an isolated case. Ex's can be jealous, of course, but when the wife is the one who wanted out and you see this going on, think twice before getting involved. It's no one else's business.
If I were your sister, I'd make sure to stay clear of, don't talk to, and have "zero" to do with the ex.....HE should be handling that department....not her.
Mod cut: Orphaned.
i toned it down a bit after all the OP is about the kids.
but for those for whom i have hit a nerve. i regret reminding u of unpleasant past experiences.
guys still do very stupid things, so its for them that i post.
Last edited by PJSaturn; 03-19-2012 at 02:38 PM..
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