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My friend ask me if we want to do something together. Of course I say yeah. Well, the day comes and I text him confirming if we were going to go out and do something. A few hours later go by, he hadn't text me back so I text him again asking if everything was alright. He texts back with a lame excuse that we wouldn't be able to do something but tells me the next evening we will do something together.
Next evening rolls around. I text him confirming to see if we were still going to do something. I don't hear back from him so I send out a couple texts within a few hours before hearing from him. The last text I sent him I told him how I felt when we make plans then he backs out. Thats when I heard from him and he tells me to come over in an hour. I get there, he isn't there yet so I text again, stalls b4 texting back telling me he's a few minutes late. Again, with excuses and who knows what to believe. He arrives where I'm at. He asks me why I was crying. I told that I wanted to be with him.
I understand he works full-time and his life is much more busier than mine. The worst part of it all is he is about the only one who calls me outside of my family to do anything with me. And he knows it too. I have tried meeting other men but no luck so far in that dept.
I know some of you will say drop him but honestly, just being with him takes a little bit of that pain of loneliness away.
This male friend that I hang out with, we are just friends, nothing more. I don't desire to be his girlfriend.
When were were last together, he discussed an issue he had with me. . Maybe it had to do something with that.
Then after I left, the next morning, he sent me a text telling me to have a good day. I think he knew he made me upset.
First, this guy is not too into your friendship and may find you tedious. If he is ignoring you and being unresponsive, move on down the road. I have always said it like this: I will not go where I am not wanted.
I'm sure he thinks the same thing we do: you are desperate and needy. He simply doesn't value being around you that much because you're desperate. You need to make new friends.
First, this guy is not too into your friendship and may find you tedious. If he is ignoring you and being unresponsive, move on down the road. I have always said it like this: I will not go where I am not wanted.
Quote:
Originally Posted by RiderGirl
I'm sure he thinks the same thing we do: you are desperate and needy. He simply doesn't value being around you that much because you're desperate. You need to make new friends.
how am I being desperate and needy when I wasn't the one making plans?
KatieCountrycm....your friend is a verrrry inconsiderate person...and unfortunately when you cry, and tell him the reason is that you just wanted to be with him.....you'll have swelled his chest, and have him believing that he can get away with being a jerk to you,...why?...because he can.
how am I being desperate and needy when I wasn't the one making plans?
You were sending too many texts. It gets annoying. And anytime a woman asks "Is everything alright?" That is a sign to a guy that she is telling him something must be wrong becasue he is not communicating enough for her likes. It comes off as needy and not at all what a confident woman would do.
KatieCountrycm....your friend is a verrrry inconsiderate person...and unfortunately when you cry, and tell him the reason is that you just wanted to be with him.....you'll have swelled his chest, and have him believing that he can get away with being a jerk to you,...why?...because he can.
He IS inconsiderate, yes. But the rest of the equation is also true. If a man cried to me about the fact that I wasn't giving him enough attention, it would come across as desperte.
I have been on both sides of this scenario, and I learned quickly that men prefer some mystery. Even in the platonic sense.
Katie you are a mess and not something people rush to get to. You need to develop some interests in life and do things that make you happy and a more well rounded person as an individual before you'd ever be ready for a relationship or even decent friendships. You cannot revolve your entire life's happiness around one person because it may be a 'friendship' to you - it becomes a tedious chore for the other party. No one wants to carry around all that weight of someone else's world. While I don't necessarily condone his methods, he is keeping his distance from you and rightfully so. No one wants to be 100% responsible for someone else - that's what you have kids for. You need to get your own life in order and not treat people like an emotional tampon.
Quote:
Originally Posted by KatieCountrycm
how am I being desperate and needy when I wasn't the one making plans?
Yes, you are acting desperate and needy and here's why...
Quote:
Originally Posted by KatieCountrycm
My friend ask me if we want to do something together. Of course I say yeah. Well, the day comes and I text him confirming if we were going to go out and do something. A few hours later go by, he hadn't text me back so I text him again asking if everything was alright. He texts back with a lame excuse that we wouldn't be able to do something but tells me the next evening we will do something together.
Next evening rolls around. I text him confirming to see if we were still going to do something. I don't hear back from him so I send out a couple texts within a few hours before hearing from him. The last text I sent him I told him how I felt when we make plans then he backs out. Thats when I heard from him and he tells me to come over in an hour. I get there, he isn't there yet so I text again, stalls b4 texting back telling me he's a few minutes late. Again, with excuses and who knows what to believe. He arrives where I'm at. He asks me why I was crying. I told that I wanted to be with him.
I understand he works full-time and his life is much more busier than mine. The worst part of it all is he is about the only one who calls me outside of my family to do anything with me. And he knows it too. I have tried meeting other men but no luck so far in that dept.
I know some of you will say drop him but honestly, just being with him takes a little bit of that pain of loneliness away.
This male friend that I hang out with, we are just friends, nothing more. I don't desire to be his girlfriend.
When were were last together, he discussed an issue he had with me. . Maybe it had to do something with that.
Then after I left, the next morning, he sent me a text telling me to have a good day. I think he knew he made me upset.
Quote:
When were were last together, he discussed an issue he had with me. . Maybe it had to do something with that.
As I suspected there's more to this story and what you've left out may have a considerable impact on commenting appropriately. What, exactly, was the issue?
Last edited by Thursday007; 04-21-2012 at 03:44 AM..
Sounds like a self-serving immature person to me. "Boys" make excuses; "Men" make changes.
When you accept and agree that you deserve better, you'll move on.
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