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Ok, I am a Asian woman. I am engaged to a white guy who I love. I am so happy when I am with him. I care about him. We are going to get married. The problem is his parents. His whole dating life...he has dated white women and brought home past girlfriends who are white. His parents were rude when I met them. Since then, I tried to be friendly...They are nice when they have to be. But I can tell that they prefer a white woman for him.
I have been depressed...I am getting to the point where I just want to give up. Its like DAMN...why cant they see that I love their son and want to make him happy.
My question is: Do you think they are close minded because they are so used to seeing a white woman with him? Or is it because he is their only son>?? He is also the 1st born.
You don't.
You tell HIM that you don't like how his parents disrespect you and let HIM handle it.
If he can't or refuses to, then you can either 1) avoid them and pretend they don't exist or 2) Dump him for being weak and having no backbone.
A weak man is NOT a man and NOT worthy of respect in ANY form.
See? I'm not the ONE for that type of foolishness. I don't take disrespect from my own parents who BIRTHED me, so I most definitely won't take it from people who mean NOTHING to me.
I look at it as opposite of Calto. You don't just marry a person. You marry a family.
Do it his way and try to get the hubbie to ignore the family, and you are going to be in a big mess.
I would never marry into that dysfunctional garbage pit.
Sooner or later, they will make him pick.
You and I are so >>>>>here<<<<<< with this Stan. I was with an ex for several years that wanted to get married, but I could not stomach certain members of his family. For some reason he only felt comfortable around the low life dregs not the ones who were successful and about something. There were other mitigating circumstances in the relationship, but I never wanted to marry him.
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I have never in my life cared what my significant other's family thought of me, but I have also tried to be aware of total psychos and people who might make my life difficult.
OMG! Are you my internet twin??!
Please tell me that would NEVER allow your DATE to pay for her OWN meal?? Please???
How can you barely know his parents? Something doesn't sound right. You've been together for 4 years. Have neither of you spent holidays together? Go to family functions together? And get off the "first born" kick. Most Americans don't dwell on the first born thing and who they marry.
I'm sorry, but I had to laugh when I read this. She's obviously not american or american raised or she would know this.
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How do you marry someone and not know their family considering you know each other since JHS and you live in the same city as his parents?
Easy? He knows his parents are racists or not tolerable of other cultures.
Ok.
My parents LOVE HIM. At first, they were bothered by the fact he wasnt korean. But they got over it. They are very religious. That is the #1... The fact he is a christian...they are happy with that.
Sarah, OK, I'm a mom - two children now in their 20's - one son, one daughter - I'd love them to be in relationships but they both have tons of friends so I've adjusted.
The religious aspect is usually huge so you have that covered.
Do his parents live in the same town? What I would do is get to know each one separately. Maybe invite a sister or two over for dinner or a nice evening. Just let them get to know you.
Just go slow on everything.
I hope some day we live in a world where people are not judged by how they look or what they have or what they don't have. I actually have a disability and so many have judged me on that. I can relate.
I was in a volunteer organization for years. Initially, I think I was snubbed a bit (disability). Years went by, got to actually know more people and believe it or not, the younger crew coming in were so much more accepting of me than the old guard. Well, you can imagine my surprise when I was voted Member of the Year (600 women). I thought they were talking about someone else! So, you never know!
Sarah, OK, I'm a mom - two children now in their 20's - one son, one daughter - I'd love them to be in relationships but they both have tons of friends so I've adjusted.
The religious aspect is usually huge so you have that covered.
Do his parents live in the same town? What I would do is get to know each one separately. Maybe invite a sister or two over for dinner or a nice evening. Just let them get to know you.
Just go slow on everything.
I hope some day we live in a world where people are not judged by how they look or what they have or what they don't have. I actually have a disability and so many have judged me on that. I can relate.
I was in a volunteer organization for years. Initially, I think I was snubbed a bit (disability). Years went by, got to actually know more people and believe it or not, the younger crew coming in were so much more accepting of me than the old guard. Well, you can imagine my surprise when I was voted Member of the Year (600 women). I thought they were talking about someone else! So, you never know!
Yes I live in the same city with his parents and my parents. Its the same city that my husband to be and I met. He lives in different city but visits me every other weekend. I go to visit him as well.
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Acceptance....
