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This is more of a contemplative rant than asking for advice.
So I wrote at least once before about a co-worker I fell for a while ago, Woman A. We spent a LOT of time together in a one on one setting pretty much out of the reach of society. Towards the end I really fell for her and went for it. She rejected me and I have for the most part stayed away from her. Every now and then when her facebook status updates come up, I check them out. But lately, I've cut all contact including that (unsubscribed ).
Anyway, this being an anonymous forum and all, I'll admit in my mind I still could not let her go. I imagined us being together. Every piece of my mind was conjuring up images that she felt the same about me at least in some little way. Even though she has never tried to contact me.
Anyway, today I broke down and checked her facebook page and it was a GREAT idea.
I discovered that she has been in close and frequent contact with others that we knew, and also got a good glimpse of what she has been up to in life. And I discovered that me being a prominent person in her life is SO FAR FROM REALITY it's not even funny. Even as a good friend. It's just not there.
This is upsetting to me because it's never really happened to me before. I have had crushes on girls in school many years ago that were not realistic, but they weren't strong and I never came close to acting on them.
I have been rejected before by female friends I really liked a lot ... but they have ended up dating close friends of mine and remained in my social circle. They even insisted on staying friends with me while I was reluctant.
Never have I been so far off about a woman and it sucks.
How can the mind allow us to wander so far from reality?
At least now hopefully I'll be able to delete this embarrassing chapter from my life.
This is more of a contemplative rant than asking for advice.
So I wrote at least once before about a co-worker I fell for a while ago, Woman A. We spent a LOT of time together in a one on one setting pretty much out of the reach of society. Towards the end I really fell for her and went for it. She rejected me and I have for the most part stayed away from her. Every now and then when her facebook status updates come up, I check them out. But lately, I've cut all contact including that (unsubscribed ).
Anyway, this being an anonymous forum and all, I'll admit in my mind I still could not let her go. I imagined us being together. Every piece of my mind was conjuring up images that she felt the same about me at least in some little way. Even though she has never tried to contact me.
Anyway, today I broke down and checked her facebook page and it was a GREAT idea.
I discovered that she has been in close and frequent contact with others that we knew, and also got a good glimpse of what she has been up to in life. And I discovered that me being a prominent person in her life is SO FAR FROM REALITY it's not even funny. Even as a good friend. It's just not there.
This is upsetting to me because it's never really happened to me before. I have had crushes on girls in school many years ago that were not realistic, but they weren't strong and I never came close to acting on them.
I have been rejected before by female friends I really liked a lot ... but they have ended up dating close friends of mine and remained in my social circle. They even insisted on staying friends with me while I was reluctant.
Never have I been so far off about a woman and it sucks.
How can the mind allow us to wander so far from reality?
At least now hopefully I'll be able to delete this embarrassing chapter from my life.
Every man seem to want something he can't have. Women do a good job of breaking them down for it. Do the noble thing...SCREW IT ALL!
Don't feel bad. I think we've all done this at some point. In our minds, the object of our affection is perfect. They can do no wrong and if only they felt the same way about us, then the rest of our life would be spent in total bliss. I think sooner or later the fantasy always ends. At least you aren't pining for her anymore and you can move on.
We've all been there - or at least I have! It hasn't happened for a very long time - but it can happen with love interests or sometimes just with friends that you think you are important to than you actually are. Sometimes we see what see want to see.
We've all been there - or at least I have! It hasn't happened for a very long time - but it can happen with love interests or sometimes just with friends that you think you are important to than you actually are. Sometimes we see what see want to see.
That's what's killing me. I'm not exactly a spring chicken. I'm in my 30s. I mean, it's pretty obvious she doesn't care about me at all as even a friend.
I have no idea how I allowed this to happen. Anyway, onwards and upwards.
Been there, done that. Learn from the experience and you will be stronger for it. You are in control of your mind and how you respond to the world: That is the bridge between your thoughts amd imagination and Reality. If she is not interested in you, admit it to yourself. This will clear your head and enable you to move on.
That's what's killing me. I'm not exactly a spring chicken. I'm in my 30s. I mean, it's pretty obvious she doesn't care about me at all as even a friend.
I have no idea how I allowed this to happen. Anyway, onwards and upwards.
You were taken' for a loop. Trust me, I would imagine most of us have been there before. At least now you know, and you can begin to move on. Nobody said getting over someone we like/love is easy. Just because someone doesn't feel the same about us doesn't devalue our own feelings. You put alot out there, and realized you were alone. I can imagine that we all can relate to that at some level at some time in our life..
I hope things get better for you. Good luck with everything.
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