Leaving my husband, at last. (girlfriend, guy, older, couple)
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I'm not questioning the decision to leave, I'm questioning the decision to tell a bunch of strangers on a public forum before actually leaving and before telling the husband she's leaving. If she wants to leave without telling him, do so, but don't advertise the fact.
It's almost like she just wants validation that she's doing the right thing, instead of simply critically evaluating it herself and making the decision.
Free Beer.....I just wanted to share with people on City Data that I AM leaving, something many people here advised me to do.....I appreciate their help and positive input into a strangers life....someone who lives hundreds of miles away.
Have you ever seen the movie The Descent? Well, I feel like I have been in a prison for 20 years.
My husband is manipulative and controlling. I have put up with him because I wanted the children with me, because I hoped he would change....because I believed in marriage and loathed the thought of divorce. I have gone around and around this....and now, finally the lights are turning green.
You have no idea what you are talking about. Truth. But even if you were to call me the filthiest names and verbally machine gun me.....I would not be shocked because I have heard it all before, from the one who was supposed to Love, Honour and Cherish me. He lied then and I don't believe he will ever change.
Maybe, my posting here will encourage some other woman or man - who is caught in a prison, to break free!
Oh, and take care of your loved one Free Beer.....worms always turn.
There's nothing classy about this...ever.....is there a way to be classy about it?
My husband won't read this posting....guaranteed.
You don't know my REAL name or exact location.
I am making this posting here because I need all the strength I can get for the wretched week ahead.
No need to explain yourself. I swear, I think some people join boards just to be contrary
It often makes the event seem more real, just by telling somebody. And those who have read your previous posts are glad of the update that you are moving forward and making such a courageous change. We'll all be along for the countdown.
Well, the deposit is down! The paperwork is filled out....all I need now to get the keys to my rented house and my new life is....the references to come in and the Credit search to be done.
Hubby is nice as pie today, so thankful for everything. He really is a deceitful snake!
He still managed to tell us (me and the kids) he didn't give a ****. Because his daughter smiled when he was moaning about something trivial.
I feel and look so tired, I am waking up early in the morning, staying awake late at night. I keep the phone off the hook when he is at home and I have to go out....so people can't ring him and tell him that, in fact, the valuation for our new home (which we were going to buy together) has not been done!!!
One more day to go, then on Friday....should hopefully get the keys. Just need a few days to pack some things in, then I will have to tell him. And face those tears, those sad, sad eyes. Oh, the guilt trip he will try and put me on.
Only name calling? Being told to F...off, called a F....ing *****....being pushed about, emotional abuse (my dad had a heart attack and was in hospital last year, he didn't come with me to visit, in fact...he ignored me for 3 days), venting at my daughter...telling her she is wrong at everything....telling her that if her parents split up she better run. Being told to shut up constantly, mind games...nice one minute...next nasty.....in the past...hair pulled, stones thrown, slapped, kicked.
Its been tough. Not normal rough and tumble fighting between spouses...NO...this is not love and if it is, you know what? I don't want it.
I stayed too long. Stayed because I didn't want my husband to have part custody, not feed them, and me being away from my children would have been tough. Either way was tough, but now, I CAN go. So I will. Tonight, hubby giving me the sad eye routine. I haven't told him that I am going, he still thinks we are buying a house together...hahaha....bloody hahaha....
When he finds out **** will hit the fan.
But for now, I have the sad eyes, quiet routine. I know his game. He says he has changed, but I just don't believe it. I think he has a screw loose.
I want my life back.
Welcome to my world!
You are not the only one going through this.
Thing is he would have lost everything when u leave. Guys only get every other weekend.
I wish u well on your new life. I'm right behind u in seven years.
Well, the deposit is down! The paperwork is filled out....all I need now to get the keys to my rented house and my new life is....the references to come in and the Credit search to be done.
Hubby is nice as pie today, so thankful for everything. He really is a deceitful snake!
He still managed to tell us (me and the kids) he didn't give a ****. Because his daughter smiled when he was moaning about something trivial.
I feel and look so tired, I am waking up early in the morning, staying awake late at night. I keep the phone off the hook when he is at home and I have to go out....so people can't ring him and tell him that, in fact, the valuation for our new home (which we were going to buy together) has not been done!!!
One more day to go, then on Friday....should hopefully get the keys. Just need a few days to pack some things in, then I will have to tell him. And face those tears, those sad, sad eyes. Oh, the guilt trip he will try and put me on.
Tuf.
Courage my friend
You know him well, so continue to prepare for what you know he will try to manipulate you with when he realizes he's not going to get his way.
Good luck to you and I wish you the stregnth and the courage to start a new life. My only advice on the actual leaving and telling him is to contact your police department and have somebody there to watch as you move your stuff out cause it could get super nasty...
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. Hopefully the experience with your husband will teach you what you will and will not tolerate in any future relationship.
