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I had this happen to me a few months ago. I began to get these "urges." I got these urges to be sweet to a woman (not anyone specific, just at random). I wanted to say nice things to her, stroke her hair, rub her neck after a rough day, just things you would do to your partner to make her feel good.
I'm just curious to know if this has ever happened to anyone else, and what I can do when I get these urges? I'd get weird looks if I went to a bar to pick up a woman so I can listen to her talk about her day, or pay a prostitute to run her a bath because she doesn't feel good.
I had this happen to me a few months ago. I began to get these "urges." I got these urges to be sweet to a woman (not anyone specific, just at random). I wanted to say nice things to her, stroke her hair, rub her neck after a rough day, just things you would do to your partner to make her feel good.
I'm just curious to know if this has ever happened to anyone else, and what I can do when I get these urges? I'd get weird looks if I went to a bar to pick up a woman so I can listen to her talk about her day, or pay a prostitute to run her a bath because she doesn't feel good.
I don't think it's really unusual. People who are generally affectionate have such urges, and people who are alone for a while begin to feel such things as well.
This is because while sex is always nice, so often the more subtle aspects of feeling connected in a relationship are about intimacy, which involves caring for another person.
It feels great in a relationship to GIVE, it really does. The problem lies in that area where you give, and the other person is NOT a giver by nature. What's easy at first because it's "new" begins to fall by the wayside and what is effortless for some is QUITE an effort for others, whatever the personal makeup and/or reason.
The person who instigates a hug wants to GIVE that hug, yes; but there is a special feeling to being hugged BACK which is so very different, and I think those who feel the urges you're describing are missing the intimacy AND wishing in some small way to instigate a return on that investment.
As for the prostitute thing...
Some years ago I knew a gal who had worked her way through college as an escort. She wasn't proud of it and told no one openly; we grew close as friends and she opened up to me.
She told me during one of our discussions regarding human nature that she was often surprised by the number of clients who had taken her out to nice places, sometimes to the most fabulous restaurants and the WHOLE point of the evening for them had proved to be companionship, sometimes the evening ending entirely without sex.
Many of them had wanted (SO many, in fact) just someone to TALK TO that she finally had to make a rule -- NO discussions about marital problems or one's wife. Talk about your day, talk about your life, just not THAT part of it.
Now, don't get the wrong idea; there was no "Pretty Woman" stuff and she did NOT glamourize it; she hated it and said there were also some pretty NASTY times and occasions -- but that whole experience DID change her views on what men needed/wanted AND on what people were willing to pay for with regard to companionship.
That was intended to be a joke. I could always ask for the girlfriend experience.
I knew it was intended as a joke... BUT in that particular world it is NOT unheard of!
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