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In a relationship, both people are never ALWAYS goin to see eye to eye on everything.
Some times it is a little dissagreement, sometimes it is a huge difference in opinion.
How do you argue with your SO?
One of my friends has told me stories about argueing with a SO and they used every name in the book and yelled and screamed. I don't think this is healthy, but I assume this happens more often then I would think.
I also have been in relationships where just changing the tone of my voice without yelling was "too much" for an ex-gf.
Me personnaly, I consider myself non confrontational, but sometimes there are issues that one must stand their ground on.
How do/have you argue(d) ? What have you learned over the years ?
Last edited by PJSaturn; 06-17-2012 at 02:05 PM..
Reason: Correct typo in title for OP.
At first, like any reasonably educated person would do, I will talk pros and cons and weigh things. Some people don't like to reason and some people are hooked on power.
That was the approach I took with my parents. I started out by explaining. After several iterations, voices were raised...and raised. Since I could outscream them and didn't give in, I usually got my way. These arguments generally had to do with school/life choices, anyway.
That's why I'd have the wear the pants in a relationship.
Men try to use rational arguments, which is usually never what the woman is upset about. You can do everything "right", and if she's upset, you're wrong. To her, at least. In a good relationship, the man will always try to understand why the woman might be upset, even if it doesn't make any sense, and the woman will realize that she might be overreacting given the facts and make some attempt to minimize her emotions completely overshadowing rationality.
Arguments are expected and necessary, but if both people work toward a common goal then they'll be solved quickly. From my experiences recently, far too many girls I've been with are selfish and self-centered; if they're not satisfied then they just want to ***** a lot. It has nothing to do with being in a happy relationship whatsoever. The older I get, the less patience I have for that sort of crap.
I could never be with a person who loves arguing and confrontation.
I think how two people handle it when they disagree is good predictor of the future success of the relationship.
I do, too. Don't get me wrong. The friends I've had for a LONG time and I don't argue. Friendships that ended were characterized by arguing. Also, if someone criticizes me about some nonconformist aspect of my personality, I can guarantee you that an argument will ensue. That doesn't work for me.
Actually name calling and screaming is not normal in healthy relationships, much to the dismay of Hollywood. I am always disgusted whenever I go to a movie and two people are rude to each other and then wind up living "happily ever after" in the end.
Men try to use rational arguments, which is usually never what the woman is upset about. You can do everything "right", and if she's upset, you're wrong. To her, at least. In a good relationship, the man will always try to understand why the woman might be upset, even if it doesn't make any sense, and the woman will realize that she might be overreacting given the facts and make some attempt to minimize her emotions completely overshadowing rationality.
Arguments are expected and necessary, but if both people work toward a common goal then they'll be solved quickly. From my experiences recently, far too many girls I've been with are selfish and self-centered; if they're not satisfied then they just want to ***** a lot. It has nothing to do with being in a happy relationship whatsoever. The older I get, the less patience I have for that sort of crap.
I disagree that men try to use rational arguments any more than women...at least not the men I've known. If the man's basic premise of the argument is not rational to begin with...then what follows is not rational.
We used to have frequent arguments about money and family. Especially with the money arguments, I was far more rational than my spouse ever was.
In a relationship, both people are never ALWAYS goin to see eye to eye on everything.
Some times it is a little dissagreement, sometimes it is a huge difference in opinion.
How do you argue with your SO?
One of my friends has told me stories about argueing with a SO and they used every name in the book and yelled and screamed. I don't think this is healthy, but I assume this happens more often then I would think.
I also have been in relationships where just changing the tone of my voice without yelling was "too much" for an ex-gf.
Me personnaly, I consider myself non confrontational, but sometimes there are issues that one must stand their ground on.
How do/have you argue(d) ? What have you learned over the years ?
Experts say arguing styles determine the longevity of the relationship. Unhealthy arguing like you describe portends a divorce.
I've never had to argue. I use humor to diffuse a situation, or talk stuff out as it comes up. Not into arguing, drama, scenes.
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