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I'm more of a debater. I am definitely a "getting the last word" type, have been since childhood.
I don't yell, scream, or call names. But I don't back down when I have something to say. I try to keep my arguing calm and as respectful as the situation allows for...disagreeing doesn't have to involve disrespect. If I lose my cool, I'm likely to get snippy and sarcastic, but that's about the extent of it. I avoid cheap shots and digs that are just mean for the sake of being mean. I feel like people only resort to them when they know they don't have a leg to stand on.
One thing that I have resolved to work on more is just walking away, taking five, cooling don, whatever you want to call it. Not everything is a battle to be picked on the spot.
Logic and stuff I view as self evident truth is what I argue with. I like to ask questions that make folks question their own premise. I rarely get worked up because I've always been a pretty cool cat and respect that people have a right to their own opinion (even if it is wrong haha). I've been known to escalate arguments by pushing the right buttons strictly for the passionate make up afterward... Does that make me a bad guy?
I think conflict resolution is one of the most important aspects of a relationship. I've always said I would rather have 10 disagreements a month that are healthy and resolved with little muss or fuss, than someone I have 4 disagreements with a year that turn ugly.
Logic and stuff I view as self evident truth is what I argue with. I like to ask questions that make folks question their own premise. I rarely get worked up because I've always been a pretty cool cat and respect that people have a right to their own opinion (even if it is wrong haha). I've been known to escalate arguments by pushing the right buttons strictly for the passionate make up afterward... Does that make me a bad guy?
hahahaha! I have never heard that described so well. I am now very suspicious of my own arguing parter!
Me too. It takes a LOT to get me pissed off. But once I'm pissed I'm pissed for days. Not proud of that, but that's who I am.
So then, those of you that hold grudges....
How does this affect your relationship? I think I have trouble dealing with that after affect from arguements. Not that I hold grudges...well I do a little, but I think I am able to push that aside for the better of the relationship.
How would you suggest the best way to handle an event/arguement that has potential for a gf to hold a grudge?
Do you need space, or more comfort, or flowers, or just act normal and everything smooths over, or (fill in the blank)?
I'm more of a debater. I am definitely a "getting the last word" type, have been since childhood.
I don't yell, scream, or call names. But I don't back down when I have something to say. I try to keep my arguing calm and as respectful as the situation allows for...disagreeing doesn't have to involve disrespect. If I lose my cool, I'm likely to get snippy and sarcastic, but that's about the extent of it. I avoid cheap shots and digs that are just mean for the sake of being mean. I feel like people only resort to them when they know they don't have a leg to stand on.
One thing that I have resolved to work on more is just walking away, taking five, cooling don, whatever you want to call it. Not everything is a battle to be picked on the spot.
My SO isn't much of an arguer.
This is pretty close to how I am. I try to be as calm and rational as possible, but if I get worked up, a sarcastic remark will probably slip out.
If you get me to the point where I have to raise my voice, then you have really pissed me off because it takes a lot to get me worked up. I have only yelled in a heated argument maybe twice over the last 5 years. I might hold a grudge, but I'm usually over it before the end of the day.
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