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I'm not talking the little white lies, as in, oh I just walked in the door and got your message so I'm returning your call.
I'm talking about the kind of lies where someone (you think you have a romantic history with, even if it's been on the rocks) says he does one thing, when his roommate tells me he's out of town (which means he couldn't do the thing he said he did).
It dawned on me today that a couple of weeks ago this happened. I didn't confront him on it, as I'm thinking. I just don't know whether I can be friends or otherwise with someone who tells more than a white lie. Could you? How do you handle these things?
Why waste time on a liar? If they lie big or small they are no good. Honesty is the only way to go. Keep looking! Spending a whole relationship trying to find out why he lied to you is not worth it. I had a liar once, for 4 years. What a waste of time. His small lies turned into huge, very hurtful ones. He made me end up hating him, but that is for another thread!
Life with liars = pain.
Life with non liars = yay!
Why waste time on a liar? If they lie big or small they are no good. Honesty is the only way to go. Keep looking! Spending a whole relationship trying to find out why he lied to you is not worth it. I had a liar once, for 4 years. What a waste of time. His small lies turned into huge, very hurtful ones. He made me end up hating him, but that is for another thread!
Life with liars = pain.
Life with non liars = yay!
Ok, what about just friends? As in a guy or girl you are friends with? Does that change the picture?
I'm sure we're all guilty of little white lies, right? So where does one draw the line in the sand? Even I've told little white lies (as in, my GF keeps bugging me to go look at such and such and I promise I will by the weekend, and don't).
There are lies of omission and lies of commission and I guess that makes a difference, too.
RUN!!!! Liars don't make good friends either. When I was a teen, I had two friends who were liars. I ended up in trouble because of their lies and decided they weren't worth it. One of the gals had asked me to go to the clothing store and pick up her clothes that she had picked out and left at the store. (Long time ago~small town and she had charged them.) She lived out in the country so, even though I knew she lied, I figured this was legit. She said she couldn't get to town in time to get them before the store closed and she wanted to wear one of the outfits to go out that night. So I went and picked them up. Well, within an hour the lady from the clothing store called me yelling at me to immediately bring those clothes back. I did and she was furious with me and thought I was trying to steal them. My "friend's" Mother also called me and was so nasty it was unbelieveable. My ex friend at that point, did try to make up to me by saying she was scared of her Mom so that's why she had lied to her. She had told her Mom that I called and asked if I could get those clothes cause I wanted to wear an outfit that night. Keep in mind that it was a very small town so of course, it was spread all over. It seemed to take a while until people trusted me again and that really hurt me. They'll stab you in the back every time and just aren't worth having as friends. There are so many people in the world who are honest that you don't need a lying friend.
BUT we all tell little white lies and they really AREN'T the same as real lies. I could never tell someone, "You look fat in that outfit" or "Yes, your hair look stupid."
Ok, what about just friends? As in a guy or girl you are friends with? Does that change the picture?
I'm sure we're all guilty of little white lies, right? So where does one draw the line in the sand? Even I've told little white lies (as in, my GF keeps bugging me to go look at such and such and I promise I will by the weekend, and don't).
There are lies of omission and lies of commission and I guess that makes a difference, too.
That is a personal decision. I would not want to be friends with someone who lies about any issue. Little lies only turn into big ones. How will you know what to believe and what not to? The person lying must also have un-dealt with issues to feel the need to lie. There is no need for it.
Unless....
I lie to my kids sometimes, for their own good. I may not tell my husband about a small shopping trip but would never lie if it would hurt his feelings in any way.
I always liked the saying "if you're going to lie you'd better have a good memory". Being honest is a freedom because you Never have to remember what you said. As stated above, lies of omission are just as damaging as verbal lies.
Ok, what about just friends? As in a guy or girl you are friends with? Does that change the picture?
I'm sure we're all guilty of little white lies, right? So where does one draw the line in the sand? Even I've told little white lies (as in, my GF keeps bugging me to go look at such and such and I promise I will by the weekend, and don't).
There are lies of omission and lies of commission and I guess that makes a difference, too.
I pride myself on accepting people for who they are. Having different types of people in my life is what makes it "interesting". But, the whole reason these people are fortunate enough to be called FRIEND, is that I know they are good people. This isn't to say a white lie such as saying "my hubbie wants me to spend time with him" rather than "I really don't feel like going out tonight with you, is reasonable. I know this about them, and "accept" them for who they are. Someone who outright lies just isn't a GOOD person IMO.
Last edited by floridadreamer; 06-16-2007 at 07:39 AM..
My grandmother once told me "if a man's mouth is cut cross ways from east to west he will lie...and if his mouth is cut up and down from north to south he might lie. The point is men lie and so do women so fellas don't get upset. U have to evaluate your relationship and decide what level of lying u can deal with before u throw your guy away. If the lie is so bad u cannot stay in the relationship why bother with being friends? BEWARE: When a man is nice enough to rat out his buddy lookout his motives maybe less than honest. He maybe lying too. Good luck.
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My "friend's" Mother also called me and was so nasty it was unbelieveable. My ex friend at that point, did try to make up to me by saying she was scared of her Mom so that's why she had lied to her. She had told her Mom that I called and asked if I could get those clothes cause I wanted to wear an outfit that night.
Keep in mind that it was a very small town so of course, it was spread all over. It seemed to take a while until people trusted me again and that really hurt me. They'll stab you in the back every time and just aren't worth having as friends. There are so many people in the world who are honest that you don't need a lying friend. 
but would never lie if it would hurt his feelings in any way.
and so do women so fellas don't get upset. U have to evaluate your relationship and decide what level of lying u can deal with before u throw your guy away. If the lie is so bad u cannot stay in the relationship why bother with being friends?
BEWARE: 
Good luck.
