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If she won't go with you, seek out counseling on your own so you can at least work though how this is affecting you and so you can figure out whether and/or how to leave and move on with your life.
It's really pretty simple isn't it?
He either wants to be married or he doesn't.
She either wants to be married or she doesn't.
If either of them won't agree to get help, that's the person who doesn't want to stay married and the other should cut their losses and move on.
If either of them won't agree to get help, that's the person who doesn't want to stay married and the other should cut their losses and move on.
This is not rocket science.
I agree, which is why I recommended to the OP that he seek counseling on his own if she doesn't want to go.
Marriage is work. Even with the best of intentions, some marriages fail no matter how much the members care for each other. My ex-husband was and remains one of my best friends. We care deeply for each other, but our marriage didn't work out. We were both eager for it to work too.
If you want my honest opinion, the OP's marriage is doomed. He needs to bail. But bailing with counseling is a better idea than bailing without it. YMMV.
I agree, which is why I recommended to the OP that he seek counseling on his own if she doesn't want to go.
Marriage is work. Even with the best of intentions, some marriages fail no matter how much the members care for each other. My ex-husband was and remains one of my best friends. We care deeply for each other, but our marriage didn't work out. We were both eager for it to work too.
If you want my honest opinion, the OP's marriage is doomed. He needs to bail. But bailing with counseling is a better idea than bailing without it. YMMV.
Completely agree, counseling would do our OP a lot of good
We haven't had sex in months, which of course she twists and blames on me. I have tried, but how can you initiate sex with someone whom you feel uncomfortable around?
Yes, move on it's over my wife did the same thing to me I wish I would of seen the signs that she wanted out BEFORE I put $18,000 down on a house. She did the exact same thing for three years off and on. It sounds like your wife is trying to tell you that she wants out without telling you.
You said you are depressed anyway and between that and your marriage issues you should see a counselor. Your wife smoking pot will only worsen her depression, but you can only do so much, it doesn't sound like she wants help. Your family may change their tune if they know you are no longer with your wife and moving on. Even if you are alone it is better than being as miserable as you are now.
She started writing on an online site about a year ago and has made a lot of online friends. She has become very distant from me though and has also started spouting some somewhat man hating or at least anti-man crap, siding with some woman she knows online to attack male posters by ganging up on them in packs. It's always women this, women that, all men are bastards. I personally believe in equality, but she is actually making me feel bad that I'm a man.
I don't even want to control her in any way, but she's changed from the girl I fell in love with all those years ago. About the company she keeps, she's recently befriended a high profile corporate woman who for some reason posts a lot of scantily clad pics of herself. I personally don't like her and she has admitted to cheating on her husband on her blog. Some guy posted that he thought it was distasteful that she was posting such pictures and my wife and that woman tore the poor guy a new a-hole, my wife expected me to agree with this, being a man myself and not someone who respects attention seeking women who ***** themselves out. That ended up turning into a fight because I refused to take her side, followed by 5 days of silent treatment.
I have suggested marriage counselling, but she ain't interested. She just spends all the time on her blog communicating with online people and smoking lots of weed.
I am very unhappy and alone. I burned bridges with my family because of her, now there's nothing left but spending nights alone drinking just enough beer to just fall asleep without actually being drunk.
One thing about real family is you can burn bridges and still go back with your head between your legs and they will accept you. I'm sure you will find out they are thinking about at this moment.. At the most they will say I told you so and call you a stupid mofo.. I don't know how old you are but long term do you want to live a life of crazyness or live as much of a healthy life as possible?
not gone bad going thru usual phases of american marriage.
its too late for u to do anything about it but i advise all men dont marry w/o a prenup. for most this terminates the game. what follows the cold shoulder is much much worse w/o a prenup.
Last edited by Huckleberry3911948; 04-27-2012 at 12:32 AM..
See a lawyer to protect yourself. You can't change her and it may be time for a divorce.
Sent from my DROIDX using Tapatalk 2
Yeah. Do that ASAP.
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