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In the beginning, I wasn't looking for anything serious since I just split up with my ex and neither was he. But as time has gone on, I've begun to see myself in a relationship eventually. Emotionally and physically, my ex and I have been over for a long, long time.
it doesnt mean he has to be comfortable with that arrangement
very few people would be
It's an excuse. If it weren't that, he'd come up with something else. He's made himself clear; he said it's not a "relationship" for him, because he hasn't "fallen" for you. So by ruling out a relationship, then by default he has defined it as FWB. You deserve true love. Move on.
he might not have "fallen" for her anyway but nobody is going to fall for someone sharing bedroom with an ex bf
I would say 3.5 months is plenty of time. And honey, it's not a relationship....he told you that. He was your rebound guy. Now you're ready for a relationship with someone.
Do you think that me living with my ex is causing a hiccup, or do you all think that if he really liked me, that wouldn't be an issue at this point (3.5 months into the relationship)?
I think that your current living relationship is unusual at best and that you are trying to jusitify the behavior of your new "sex" partner. Let him go, he is just using you for sex.
Edit
So, I guess that your living arrangement has changed...does that change anything...NO...he is just playing you for sex...you are beating a dead horse...give up and move forward with your life.
I have been there. It did not end well. However ,I did not follow my gut , which also said to leave 4 months in I got I love you but not in love with you. I kept nagging about it. If you don't talk the relationship to death , you may be ok here. This added to my insecurity so that didnt help (hearing ily but not in love)
Thing is , this didn't even come up until 10 months in intbe relationship before tbat. At that oint I got an I love you sometime-as in sometimes he did , sometimes he didn't.However , I let it go and this man married me and was madly in love with me IN TIME.
You have to figure out if you're dealing with a committer or non committer - does this man WANT to be in love or does he self protect from that? Or , does he not want to be in love withYOU ,if not wanting to be in love id the problem. Either way , if he's not open to falling , or open to falling with you , same end result.
Timing can be a factor , too. Maybe just too soon.
In the beginning, I wasn't looking for anything serious since I just split up with my ex and neither was he. But as time has gone on, I've begun to see myself in a relationship eventually. Emotionally and physically, my ex and I have been over for a long, long time.
If neither of you guys were looking for anything at the jump, then maybe he's been static, while your mindset has changed.
Your ex boyfriend was at first living in the same room with you, now he has his own room in the same house. Why do you have this arrangement? Could one of you move out and live somewhere else? The fact that you two are living together will always be a barrier to any relationships that you will be involved with in the future. I would think that it would be awkward have your date come over and your ex is in the same house.
You need to not live in a house with your ex before you expect anyone with sense to get serious with you.
And I'd also say that as weird as the situation is, if there was really passion there he'd feel it anyway. People fall for folks they shouldn't all the time. No amount of "not a good idea" can stop the heart, especially for someone you've been talking to for hours a day and sleeping with for months. If anything he would have been on you to get away from the ex because he was falling for you.
Your ex boyfriend was at first living in the same room with you, now he has his own room in the same house. Why do you have this arrangement? Could one of you move out and live somewhere else? The fact that you two are living together will always be a barrier to any relationships that you will be involved with in the future. I would think that it would be awkward have your date come over and your ex is in the same house.
I know this is going to sound like an excuse and be super hard for anyone to believe who doesn't live in the DC/VA/MD area, but housing is super expensive here. I moved to VA to be with my now-ex and found a great job. A one-bedroom in a decent (not rich, just not in the slums) area is upwards of $1,200, which I can't really afford on my salary with bills, etc. I COULD try to find roommates, but they would be complete strangers as I don't know anyone in the area and I'm so wary of that.
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