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I want to know why he didn't love me. Please tell me if you are male or female and your age.
We were together 1 yr. Then on and off for 2. He was 33 that year , me 36. He gave me all the usual compliments (including he liked how I was with his child) 3 mos. In we did the I love you. He said however , he didn't want to be in love but he did loveme. This upset me , we talked all night , the 1st of many nagging nights. He almost cried when he asked me not to leave him. I didn't.
A month or 2 later , I found out he'd been texting a girl (he had 5-10 females he kept this level of contact with , this did nothing for my insecurities) he'd had a crush on before we got together. She was now single and she offered herself to him. I don't believe anything happened because we were together all the time. They had stopped texting 10 days before I found out. I think she got frustrated he never came to see her.
So we had trust issues. We ended up moving in together (because I nagged him into it , circumstances helped too) but broke up 2 months later. After that on and off 2 years but it was never the same.
He had maybe 7 or 8 girlfriends before me , 2 of the girls had a child with him. No marriages , though he bought a ring and proposed to to one if the mothers. I think he made it a year with each mother , less than a year with everyone else. Oh and we had an excellent sex life.
Me , only 2 relationships- one long , one short and a long marriage to an alcoholic , so yes I have issues.
From his pov , he used to say I over reacted to things. I would agree.
Was I just too needy that he couldn't love me? I want to note , I strictly mean that in an emotional sense. I am financially independent. Or was it him? Why didn't he fall in love with me?
he probably just stayed in it for the sex if he said he wasn't in love with you
Right , Id agree that was a big part of it , thank you. However , he could have left for this other woman , and he had options besides. Did tell me he loved me every day. Yes , I realize that is different than in love.
To quote the greatest band of all time, 38 Special: hold on loosely and don't let go. If you cling tightly you're going to lose control. I would address your insecurity before I'd even consider a relationship. I had major insecurity issues before I addressed them, and it's made a world of difference.
maddog1, you come off as waaaaaay smarter than this. This is the kind of relationship disaster I usually get wrapped up in. What about this guy doesn't scream "complete narcissist"? He didn't love you because he is totally wrapped up in himself and his own self-important drama. He liked you being needy and insecure and off your game - it confirmed his own image of himself and made him feel powerful.
You are way better off without him. Just try not to carry the emotional baggage into your future dating life - this is way harder than you'd think. Trust me on that:P
maddog1, you come off as waaaaaay smarter than this. This is the kind of relationship disaster I usually get wrapped up in. What about this guy doesn't scream "complete narcissist"? He didn't love you because he is totally wrapped up in himself and his own self-important drama. He liked you being needy and insecure and off your game - it confirmed his own image of himself and made him feel powerful.
You are way better off without him. Just try not to carry the emotional baggage into your future dating life - this is way harder than you'd think. Trust me on that:P
Thank you for the compliment and the insight. I appreciate this forum so much.
To quote the greatest band of all time, 38 Special: hold on loosely and don't let go. If you cling tightly you're going to lose control. I would address your insecurity before I'd even consider a relationship. I had major insecurity issues before I addressed them, and it's made a world of difference.
Great song true , too
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true , too
