For those of you in successful relationships, how much do you have in common (dating, movies)
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
with your significant other? Do you have a lot in common? A little in common?
I'm 32 and am back in the dating world after having been single for 4 years. I dated a little during this time, but not much, and it seems much more difficult now than it did in my early 20s. Maybe that's because people are more selective in this age as to what they're looking for in a mate. I've always been incredibly picky and would know within 15 minutes of meeting someone whether or not it would work, based simply upon taste in music, movies, art, travel, and books because those are the things that interested me most. My interests have expanded since then, and I have a lot of outdoor activities that interest me now too. I realize I can't expect someone to have all the same interests I have, but how much can I reasonably expect to have in common with someone in order to have a successful relationship?
I've started seeing a guy I like (and he likes me). We both love to travel, go out to eat, be active outside, and be lazy inside. I'm not sure we have much in common with movies or music. He's really into sports, and I could be perfectly happy without sports, but I'm willing to go to basketball or baseball games with him. I think I'd even have fun.
I'm really curious as to how much successful couples do together and do separately.
It would be perfect if you two are best friends (lots in common) as well as lovers, but I wouldn't undermine our compatibility just because he likes sports and I don't. I also think it's great that two people have different interests that they can explore with their respective friends, as long as they have some interests in common. It's all about balance.
My husband and I have a bit in common. Similar educations and professions. We both love electronic music and started out spinning together. We enjoy hiking and camping together. What we don't do together is the gym, sports (I'm starting to get into football and he hates it), and the net.
The *big* things are in common. Same religious views, same educational views, same views on the roles of family.
The little things, not so much. He lives for sports, I cringe when I see the ESPN logo. He could eat cheeseburgers and fries every day, and I prefer ethnic foods. He'd rather staycation, I'd rather go abroad. We make it work though.
What we do share though is a love of the same music. Which I am eternally grateful for. It makes doing chores together oodles more pleasant, and it's the only reason I'm willing to go on road trips together
We are in the same business although he's backstage and I'm onstage. Still - it really helps that we both understand the lifestyle and the ups and downs of our careers. We have similar upbringings and educations in some ways - although his family is really religious and conservative and mine is liberal and not religious. We both like all different kinds of food and music - although I've introduced him to many different kinds of food and he's introduced me to many different bands and such.
I'd say the biggest things that we have in common are basic lifestyle and life goals. We are both more homebodies who would rather cuddle up and watch a show than go out to the bar. I'm more social than he is but he lets me throw parties from time to time and invite people over for dinner. We also both wanted to have a house, a dog, and children. I feel like these are the most important things to have in common with someone. We both happen to like sports a lot - but my last boyfriend didn't and it wasn't really that big of an issue. I like to run and work out and he doesn't. He likes history and war movies and I tolerate them. I could go on and on about our differences and similarities - but I think at the end of the day - lifestyle and life goals are the most important things. It's hard to make things work if one person wants children and the other doesn't, or one person wants to live in the city and one wants to live in the country, or one person likes to go out clubbing every night and the other likes to stay in, or one person wants to go hiking every weekend and the other is a total couch potato.
We are highly compatible in what we value. This doesn't mean we have identical interests. The former matters...the latter, not so much. Some of our interests are the same. But certainly not all of them. We both have broadened our interests as the result of another person, as well.
I am very liberal, and he is much more of a conservative libertarian type. I am a churchgoer, lifelong, and spirituality is important to me, he is deeply distrustful of religious organizations/basically atheist. He works in finance for a large corporation, I teach profoundly disabled children for a small private school. We are both musicians, both have major literary interests and backgrounds/majored in English as undergraduates, love outdoors...hiking, yardwork, gardening, landscaping, home beautification. We both love beer and community festivals. We both love kids but aren't ready for our own yet, we are both homebodies, etc.
There are some key background differences...he is the product of a fairly privileged east coast background, attended prep school, family of prominent doctors, attorneys, city bigwigs, grew up in an urban environment. I'm from a small midwestern farming community, grew up on the borderline middle class-low income end of the socioeconomic spectrum with parents who ran a struggling mom n' pop business for 40 years. Despite very different backgrounds, we have much in common, in regard to our sensibilities and what is important to us.
Last edited by TabulaRasa; 05-11-2012 at 08:22 PM..
We are highly compatible in what we value. This doesn't mean we have identical interests. The former matters...the latter, not so much. Some of our interests are the same. But certainly not all of them. We both have broadened our interests as the result of another person, as well.
That's a great way of putting it. Our values are the same, our interests are all over the map. (And I like it that way--we both expose each other to new things!)
Seriously...were it not for him, I would not have taken up running and various other forms of exercise. Were it not for me, he would not have known that he finds volunteering with Special Olympics and other programs for the disabled kids I work with to be profoundly satisfying. These are only a few of the things we've inspired one another to look into.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
