For those of you in successful relationships, how much do you have in common (guy, love)

[Dewdroplet76]

Originally Posted by Braunwyn

Yea, two fiery people would get explosive. With that said, I hate that I have an electric stove. I can't really control the temp like I want and I learned how important it is for poaching eggs! What a mess I made. I think my dh is going to get me some egg poachers today.

I can't wait to get rid of our electric stove!!! Argh!!!

[cislga]

My husband and I have very little in common. We have different political views, I'm a dem he's hard-core rep. I am very spiritual but not religious. He is agnostic. He grew up in large conservative family, his parents are still married. I am an only child that grew up w/o a father. I love to exercise, very fit, eat impeccable diet. He is meat and potatoes guy all the way.

He is my rock. I am up/down emotionally. He rarely gets angry, anxious or worries about anything. I WORRY about everything! I am so glad our son has his personality!

We both work on our marriage daily. We talk about everything/anything. He is truly my BFF I am so grateful he is in my life. I can honestly say that I love him more today than the day we married.

[supermanpansy]

Not that much! Except for some "big" things. We both share a "strong" love for our families. We have great chemistry, and we enjoy each others company. We laugh alot together. We both like to watch movies. Other than that, we're not that much alike.

For instance, I love sports. Basketball, baseball, football (I wrestled for years, but you can't exactly watch it), etc. I even can tolerate hockey. I hate Nascar. She does too, so we agree on that. Other than that, she hate's sports. My sister is a "sport girl". She knows her teams better than most guys, so I have her to talk sports with, plus most of my friends..I like outdoorsy things. Hikes, walks, camping, etc. She doesn't. I forced her camping once and it was a bad idea. She hates bugs, pretty much anything to do with camping. She hates fishing. I like it.

We both like to shop alone. I know exactly what it is I am going for and I don't need anyone slowing me down. She is similar in that regard. Besides, what guy wants to go shopping with their girl? I don't think I need anyones advice on what looks good. I am into fashion myself, and I care deeply about what I wear. I take pride in the way I look. I like to think that I am very stylish. Always been told I was. My girl is that way too. Very "cool" style to her.

There are many things that we aren't that similar in. Yet, there are many things that we are. It works. I guess I'll leave it at that.

[Baldrick]

We share the same values, we mostly share the same politics and we have different views on religion.

We have different interests though the time we're together we do things we both like and we both love our family. We make each other laugh and i love her and her me. If sometimes we have to compromise what we do or keep our views to ourselves to avoid upsetting the other then that's ok, it's worth it.

[ylisa7]

Originally Posted by katykat01

with your significant other? Do you have a lot in common? A little in common?

I'd say we have a lot of the important things in common and the not so big stuff not in common, lol.

We have the same life views, political and religious beliefs, money habits and future goals.

We are true partners in everything and every decision. We have great communication. We are both very stubborn so of course we can get very determined about our points of view at times. But we don't fight about the different opinions when we have them. Usually they are really minor things in the scheme of things and we can easily let them go. We laugh at each other.

Sure we have different interests but that makes us individuals. I like to read and go online...he likes TV better. Thankfully neither of us care about sports. I love to garden and cook...while he likes to watch me He is very mechanical and can fix anything. I can't remember how to put something back together if I take it apart I love to dance he doesn't. I love to eat all kinds of food. He likes the same old same old. We have some similar music taste but not all.


We have also meshed very well together. I have learned so much from him about things I never thought I would like or do. He has taught me all about building, construction, and remodeling.....and surprise surprise I love it all. It's one of our favorite things to do together. Projects...lots of projects, lol.

I have also mellowed him. I am very calm and easy going although I am a bit of a fanatic about some things. This also helps him stay calm when he used to be very hot headed.

The one ting he loves to say about our relationship is "it's nice." We are never mean to one another.


I think it's good to have differences but you need to respect your differences. If you can only put someone down for their different views or likes I don't think you can make it. Grab ahold of some of the differences and you might find yourself liking something completely new.

[JustJulia]

Similarities
Went to the same high school (that's where we met)
Attended the same church (I joined when we started dating, baptized and married there)
Like most of the same music (I like dubstep and he likes the Dead, but we share 90% of our music tastes)
Like most of the same movies (if Sleepless in Seattle or Saw is on cable, we know that we're watching alone, but mostly we like the same stuff)
Grew up in the same neighborhood, have similar family backgrounds
Have compatible ideals about family, finances, goals, health
Share similar tastes in food
Like some of the same activities

Dissimilarities
Don't share favorite activities (he loves skiing and rollerblading, while I am phobic; I love dancing, which he hates)
Belong to different political parties, although we are both moderate
Different hobbies

I can't think of anything major that we disagree on.

[Braunwyn]

Originally Posted by TabulaRasa

We are the opposite. I am the calming presence, and he is the one prone to wigging out. He wouldn't last long with a less mellow, unflappable person...two people who stress out all the time's relationship would ultimately self-destruct. My patience helps temper things. Of course, from the opposite viewpoint, my mellowness makes me more passive, and he's the one more likely to get **** done. If were were both like me, there would be some inertia. Different but complimentary.

Exactly. You hit the nail on the head. It works.

[dr74]

Originally Posted by Braunwyn

As I was cooking breakfast this morning, unsuccessfully with a bit of bugging out, this thread came to mind. One of the reasons our marriage is successful is due to what we don't have in common. My husband is much more mellow than I. He tempers my fiery Italian side. He really keeps us together in that way; the patience of a saint.

lol! Golden! This is very important as well! I can get hulk status during that time of the month and a man who understands the mood shift, looks at the calendar and then states.."Okay, you get a free pass out of jail"
Haveto love our even tempered men..<3

[Koale]

Originally Posted by dr74

lol! Golden! This is very important as well! I can get hulk status during that time of the month and a man who understands the mood shift, looks at the calendar and then states.."Okay, you get a free pass out of jail"
Haveto love our even tempered men..<3

yes... some things I can always be sure of... when I look at the blue ocean...I know I'm going to be told it's green...lol... I do love consistency.
Koale

[MissLucky]

Originally Posted by katykat01

with your significant other? Do you have a lot in common? A little in common?

I'm 32 and am back in the dating world after having been single for 4 years. I dated a little during this time, but not much, and it seems much more difficult now than it did in my early 20s. Maybe that's because people are more selective in this age as to what they're looking for in a mate. I've always been incredibly picky and would know within 15 minutes of meeting someone whether or not it would work, based simply upon taste in music, movies, art, travel, and books because those are the things that interested me most. My interests have expanded since then, and I have a lot of outdoor activities that interest me now too. I realize I can't expect someone to have all the same interests I have, but how much can I reasonably expect to have in common with someone in order to have a successful relationship?

I've started seeing a guy I like (and he likes me). We both love to travel, go out to eat, be active outside, and be lazy inside. I'm not sure we have much in common with movies or music. He's really into sports, and I could be perfectly happy without sports, but I'm willing to go to basketball or baseball games with him. I think I'd even have fun.

I'm really curious as to how much successful couples do together and do separately.

My boyfriend is 51 and I'm 35 so obviously we have different taste in music and dress code but this is not a deal breaker for neither of us. I guess there are other important things to worry about other than whether we like the same sports or music.