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I am 27 yrs old. I started dating my now ex when I was 23 and he was 27. he is now 31. I left him bc he cheated on me in our last year together ( we were together for about 3 yrs). We had many intimacy issues due to the fact that he was a little too much of a know it all instead of being willing to hear me out. Also he def had some anger issues that got better in time, but not completely, nor soon enough. I just couldn't connect with him despite how much I tried (first time I EVER had this issue with anyone). Also, he was talking about getting married within the first month of being with me and just would not let up on the pressure. Lastly, his foreplay was sub-par at best although all else was fine (was hoping he would get better).
The last straw was when I found out he physically cheated on me once with an ex girlfriend, and for 3 months emotionally with her. He stated that it was due to the fact that his ego was bruised bc of our lack of intimacy and that he wanted nothing to do with her more than an ego stroke.
However, I could not shake all of the damage that had been done and after a month of finding out about the cheating, I walked away. We had been living together for the first year and half we were together. We broke up briefly for 10 months after that first year and a half bc I could NOT take the yelling and anger issues. After 10 months of begging me to come back to him claiming that he had "changed" I finally caved and gave it another go (I loved him). I came back for about 1 year and things got worse as evidenced in my first two paragraphs.
When I walked away I made no drama, I told him on a Wednesday I was done and would be moved out by the weekend. He was leaving town that weekend. When he made it back on that Monday, just as I said, ALL of my things were gone and so was I . I returned the key and had my mail forwarded to my new home address. He texted me when he returned asking me "how are you doing?"
I never replied back. We have not talked since we ended it which was about 2 1/2 months ago.
Why in the heck is this 31 yr old grown man trashing me and saying hateful things about me? He is claiming that I was very mean to him (almost laughable bc I am a very sweet lady). Claiming that he is sooo happy I am gone when in actuality he was trying to convince me to stay. He is even discussing our intimacy issues with other women and men basically doggin me (by the way lets get this straight, I was the one who first told him I was not connecting with him on that level)? He also went as far as posting subliminal messages about me on twitter and facebook (no idea what he is saying on these now as I blocked him immediately after finding this out) This is so immature and far beyond my scope of understanding bc I just don't behave this way and up until meeting him, I did a great job of not surrounding myself around those who behaved this way. Why is he doing this? What is his point? Should I confront him or just let it ride out? I am dumbfoudned and confused but also upset bc I have always been one to protect my reputation. I just can't believe that a well educated , 31 yr old man, with a family background to be proud of is behaving this way. Thanks for reading if you got this far.
In your description of him you said he has anger issues.
Well, he's just displaying them more now.
Let it go - ignore him - and choose more wisely next time
I don't think CD is the same as facebook, twitter, etc where their social circles probably overlap somewhat. This is anonymous... unless he happens to have a good rep on CD and she mentions his username..
The question posed in the title is "Why do men trash their ex-girlfriends?"
I merely question why this is even a valid question to even ask, seeing as the OP does the exact same thing. We're reading her side that he says these things on social media sites. She could very well be doing the same - but may or may not tell us that. What we can read is that instead of saying "Ever since breaking with my ex, he has done x, y, z" we get a full spiel about how horrible he was to her (paragraphs of detail) followed by his current action. If anything, it's more telling about the OP's vice how "terrible" her ex is. Pure and simple, the OP answers her own question. I do wonder what "subliminal messages about me on twitter and facebook" could mean. There's a Carly Simon song about this sort of behaviour as displayed by the OP. Her ex may very well be talking about anybody. Snooping on what he is saying and attributing it to herself? Also veeeery interesting.
All in all, it comes down to: Why do people trash their ex's? Because they are seeking validation and/or attention.
I really hate threads that begin with "Why do men...." or "Why do women..."
People of both genders trash their exes. Why single out men? So you dated an immature loser.
If it makes you feel better, feel free to explain why women do as well. Perhaps enough responses will show that men and women do it for the same reasons generally. Thanks.
If it makes you feel better, feel free to explain why women do as well. Perhaps enough responses will show that men and women do it for the same reasons generally. Thanks.
His point is, the reasons PEOPLE do this are not gender specific.
PEOPLE trash their ex's when they are immature, hot-headed, feel used, have no self-esteem, are drama queens, hold grudges, don't know how to take personal responsibility, and lack good coping strategies.
As I already stated, choose more wisely next time and this likely will not happen to you going forward
The question posed in the title is "Why do men trash their ex-girlfriends?"
I merely question why this is even a valid question to even ask, seeing as the OP does the exact same thing. We're reading her side that he says these things on social media sites. She could very well be doing the same - but may or may not tell us that. What we can read is that instead of saying "Ever since breaking with my ex, he has done x, y, z" we get a full spiel about how horrible he was to her (paragraphs of detail) followed by his current action. If anything, it's more telling about the OP's vice how "terrible" her ex is. Pure and simple, the OP answers her own question. I do wonder what "subliminal messages about me on twitter and facebook" could mean. There's a Carly Simon song about this sort of behaviour as displayed by the OP. Her ex may very well be talking about anybody. Snooping on what he is saying and attributing it to herself? Also veeeery interesting.
All in all, it comes down to: Why do people trash their ex's? Because they are seeking validation and/or attention.
Doesn't matter the medium.
or instead of typing that long paragraph you could hve just flat out asked me? Your post is interesting to me too for that reason.
Regardless, I'm not going to even defend myself on this one here. Obviously most people detail the background to save responders for
doing exactly what you are doing... Making assumptions. Obviously, if I just asked a generic question without detail, responders would have asked for details in order to form a more accurate opinion. Still thank you too for your response. World wouldn't be great without different opinions, including yours.
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However, I could not shake all of the damage that had been done and after a month of finding out about the cheating, I walked away. We had been living together for the first year and half we were together. We broke up briefly for 10 months after that first year and a half bc I could NOT take the yelling and anger issues. After 10 months of begging me to come back to him claiming that he had "changed" I finally caved and gave it another go (I loved him). I came back for about 1 year and things got worse as evidenced in my first two paragraphs. 
I never replied back. We have not talked since we ended it which was about 2 1/2 months ago.
Why in the heck is this 31 yr old grown man trashing me and saying hateful things about me? He is claiming that I was very mean to him (almost laughable bc I am a very sweet lady). Claiming that he is sooo happy I am gone when in actuality he was trying to convince me to stay. He is even discussing our intimacy issues with other women and men basically doggin me (by the way lets get this straight, I was the one who first told him I was not connecting with him on that level)? He also went as far as posting subliminal messages about me on twitter and facebook (no idea what he is saying on these now as I blocked him immediately after finding this out) This is so immature and far beyond my scope of understanding bc I just don't behave this way and up until meeting him, I did a great job of not surrounding myself around those who behaved this way. Why is he doing this? What is his point? Should I confront him or just let it ride out? I am dumbfoudned and confused but also upset bc I have always been one to protect my reputation. I just can't believe that a well educated , 31 yr old man, with a family background to be proud of is behaving this way. Thanks for reading if you got this far.
