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Personally, I'd want to get any fun I want to have out of me before taking on a family and being tied down.
Okay, that would be your choice. However, there are some people who feel that they had plenty of fun:
In grade school,
In middle school
In high school
So in college it would be time to "buckle down" work hard to prepare for success in the future. The ability to delay gratification is a hallmark of a well-adjusted person.
I would guess because they are a good catch - and the women swoop them up quickly!
Usually what happens is the young men begin to ask for more hours; and/or take on more responsibility at work. So that they don't have to go home, quite so soon...
Location: Huntersville/Charlotte, NC and Washington, DC
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Quote:
Originally Posted by laorbust61
Okay, that would be your choice. However, there are some people who feel that they had plenty of fun:
In grade school,
In middle school
In high school
So in college it would be time to "buckle down" work hard to prepare for success in the future. The ability to delay gratification is a hallmark of a well-adjusted person.
I just graduated from college after working at least part-time throughout. After busting my a&$, I deserve to have a little fun with my free time and not be stuck with a wife and a kid. I already work 40 hours at one job and an extra 10 looking for a better job. The rest of my time, I like to have as much fun as humanly possible.
I think we also have different ideas of how love is shown...Which is why I agreed to disagree. Love to me is a concept between 2 entities that brings joy, pleasure, excitement, along with longterm emotional stability.
As I said, I respect your right to feel love towards any entity you wish as long as it is not hurting a living thing (or a property I own). I do not believe inanimate objects have souls/feelings (do not believe in anime), therefore do not believe an entity can love you back (reciprocate). I (and most people I believe) are incapable of feeling relationship love toward an inanimate entity.
But as I said, I can respect your belief in this. BTW, if you truly are an objectophile, you are the first one I've actually communicated with. I don't think this is as common as you think. But it may be a type of emerging relationship/psychological issue so I think you should start another thread explaining your object-relationship views on C-D. I think that would be an interesting discussion.
It just seems like the majority of my highly successful friends (and others I just happen to know) are either engaged or married. However, these are guys who love women so I have a hard time understanding why these guys would settle down right when the money is starting to roll in (many of us graduated from professional school within the last 3 years).
Maybe they feel pressured by family or something.
These are guys that love women and lucky them they found someone that they love so much that they gave up the single life to start a family with. Imagine that. I have a good friend that has a great career at Amgen and his wife is an RN and does well. They were married while they were going to school, I think their first year of college. After school they were able to buy a new home and start their life together. By that time they allready had 3 kids and eventually ended up with a 4th kid. Here it is 20 years later and the youngest is a Senior in High School, the other three are in college with the oldest almost done. All three have scholarships and the youngest was awarded a scholarship. No college exspense for them and the 4 kids. Hear is the deal, they are just about done raising 4 kids and are 42 and 41 years old. To top it off they paid off there home early and are debt free.
Lets recap: Got married early. Completed school and ended up with great jobs. Had their kids early. Kids are allmost all raised and out of the house. Paid off their home. Funded their retirements. Bought some rental property. In their early 40's will be free to do what they want.
I just graduated from college after working at least part-time throughout. After busting my a&$, I deserve to have a little fun with my free time and not be stuck with a wife and a kid. I already work 40 hours at one job and an extra 10 looking for a better job. The rest of my time, I like to have as much fun as humanly possible.
I just graduated from college after working at least part-time throughout. After busting my a&$, I deserve to have a little fun with my free time and not be stuck with a wife and a kid. I already work 40 hours at one job and an extra 10 looking for a better job. The rest of my time, I like to have as much fun as humanly possible.
The most fun I've ever had that was humanly possible was when I was "stuck" with my spouse and, later, with our kids. But everyone is different.
I just graduated from college after working at least part-time throughout. After busting my a&$, I deserve to have a little fun with my free time and not be stuck with a wife and a kid. I already work 40 hours at one job and an extra 10 looking for a better job. The rest of my time, I like to have as much fun as humanly possible.
Look, I think you're doing the right thing for you.
I just have a problem with the idea that settling down is an elimination of fun times or something.
Yes, I did say that kids require sacrifice. But so does getting good at shooting or a sport or a game or a triathlon...or even climbing a mountain. Totally worth it.
If you maintain this attitude that you are having fun now in preparation for not having fun later...or being 'pinned down' or whatever, I fear for how your relationships or family life will go.
Relationships are supposed to BE FUN.
Children bring joy and are an adventure in and of themselves.
I'm relatively young (36), I'm wealthy, I'm good-looking (if I do say so myself), I'm funny, I'm smart, I'm worldy/sophisticated. I don't have to be in this relationship or any relationship. In fact, because the laws stand the way they do, I have no legal obligation to my wife whatsoever, and I could walk away with 100% of 'my' cash. I'm in the process of adopting our son, but until that goes through, I have no obligation to him, either. But I cannot fathom even one moment not having them permanently in my life. No matter the little tiffs or squabbles or diaper blow-outs or lost sleep...that thought never crosses my mind. It never once crosses my mind that my life would be more FUN without them in it.
THAT is how you are supposed to look at relationships. Not the end of your fun or freedom.
i don't know that the premise is true, that successful guys marry early; however i am very close with someone you might describe as 'successful.' he is a neurosurgeon, and very sociable, outdoorsy, and growing up my female friends said "he looks like an abercrombie model."
he was married i believe at 27-28, which is a little early by my standards.
i think he married early because (A) he'd dated tons of attractive, annoying women, (B) he needed someone to take care of him. it's a very difficult life working that hard, and he found someone who would be a faithful wife and a good mom. She is also an M.D., just in a much less demanding specialty that is more female-friendly than surgery. He's gotten his own way most of his life, and she doesn't put up with that. She challenges him.. but at the same time is very delicate and feminine, and much more literary and cultured than him.
The ability to delay gratification is a hallmark of a well-adjusted person.
The ability to delay gratification has been all but lost in this country.
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