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I actually live in Nashville now...was in the Orlando area during the time all of this happened, but God pushed me away from Orlando onto Nashville to be with my family, and as have come to find as I look back now, there was great purpose behind that...Thanks for the comment
You are lost and you need to figure out God's plan for you. He is a family man but as they say God helps those who help themselves. Go check out Joel Olsteen books. Even though many see him as commercial christianity, you are both flesh and spirit and he didnt intend this to be a life of spiritual or human suffering. Find your bliss and have faith you can do all things in His name, including finding a mate. Having a spiritual belief system is a strong indicator of a mature confident man.but it sounds like you still need to figure out your direction and inner strength. Many major biblical figures underwent a major transformation, including Abraham, Moses, David, and Jesus. You need to figure out how to get to the other side of your transformation where you no longer have any doubt about your self worth, and believe me the women issue will take care of itself
I agree to an extent about being flesh and spirit...I used to be inexperienced with women which lead me to falling into the traps I faced and heartbreak..I see that now and made my mistakes by even laying down with married women....I honestly didn't do wrong in the beginning as I waited for the first one to divorce and the second love of my life lied about her situation, but I was wrong for staying after I found out...when u get caught up in emotions like the emotion of love u get blinded and now I understand...I know Joel Osteen and his books, I know about lots of Christian based muscians, speakers, and that whole area of life....been in and out of it...just in a different place right now and need help, need to get myself right again..been through a lot outside of relationships in life generally and just finding my way learning along that way...thanks for the time u took to comment and the advice
I feel your pain man, despite the advantages of dating later on in life, it also comes with its fair share of traps. Married people disguise themselves as single because they just suck at their own marriage and try to drag you down with them, glad you got out of that.
Hope you find someone, or she finds you and isn't a wolf in sheep's clothing.
I agree, and you can only understand when u go through things like this as u may know already..Thanks for your comment
I am a woman who met my husband when I was 33. I had many, many, many, bad relationships in my
20's, into my early 30's. When I finally stopped looking and found the things in life that truely made me happy, he came into my life..... he is younger than me, we had met many years before, just someone who was fun to be around. We married five years later, together 23 years all together now, with 3 kids.
If you are open to love, it will come. If you are happy, strong, and confident with who you are, you will attract a healthy relationship. Realize that sometimes love comes unexpectedly. Good luck to you. We all have a different path and a different time table.
Glad to hear you found someone who made life better for u, thanks for sharing that experience. It may help some other people who read this too, as for myself I see your experience and it brings a smidget of hope, but as far as what I am looking for...well I don't even know if I'm looking anymore to be honest..I just feel the pain and have to vent it here is all this is about..thanks for your story and comment
heck man for a guy who gets hurt a lot you sure get up and try again and again. you sound like a perfect fusion of the "nice guy" and "bad guy" concepts that always get talked about on this forum. you sure try a helluva lot more than i ever do. it's been ages since i've dated or asked anyone out. i wouldn't admit it but i sure could stand to learn some things from you
God bless. I'm glad i read your post
Brother thanks for that comment...you make me feel like my words actually meant a damn tonight...As far as women I couldn't tell u anything or teach you, but I can tell u how to move on and not lower yourself to what people do to u in life..we all need that and I know more people have worse experiences than mine out there too..Thank u for writing on my post,
So you met a few women and they all had devious agendas and hid it well and didn't let it be known until the timing was right for them and then unleashed it on your surprised gullible self. So you feel like a dog that has been beat too much so now if someone extends their hand to pet you in a reaction you step back in anticipation of being smacked instead. So now you are cynical and expect too many to not live up to your expectations.
Get a guitar, and learn it. It is a great outlet to let out those tortured soul feelings, specially when you use the blues scale.
But get this, you are not alone by choice. You are alone because you are afraid to take another chance.
I've had about 3 years to ponder things and learn from it...I can't do guitar but am good at sharing on here or facebook which I've lost lots of friends for sharing things on there..learned from that as we all have probably....this is the best way to vent right now...Thank u for your comment, I assume you play guitar a lot huh?...lol
Wow OP. It's bad enough to have someone cheat on you, but when you work with that person and they cheat with a co-worker and you have to see them together everyday! I would've been a complete d*ck! I totally believe in getting even. I do disagree with you on the sex before marriage thing. You need to see if there's sexual chemistry, who wants to marry somebody, THEN have sex and find out the chemistry isn't there?! I also don't know of any girls that wanna date a guy that's a virgin. In all honesty there's really nothing you did wrong, you were just decieved IMO. I know I'll get jumped on by some women on here but, there are many girls out there that want what they can't have and think they are 100 times better than what they really are. Often times, the better looking the girl, the more likely this is to happen. Another cause of this is that the more a girl gets "hit on" the more her ego gets boosted. Combine this with Facebook and Twitter where she can tell the world her every thought, no wonder so many women are all about themselves. Don't forget feminism which has really made men out to be piles of sh*t. There's actually been books and articles written recently on the topic that women are ruining the dating and relationship scene because they are so picky and demanding. To be brutally honest with you OP, none of those women every truly loved you either, or they wouldn't have done what they did. As far as not opening up your heart again, who wouldn't side with you on that one. Unfortunately, you don't know who you're getting involved with, until you get involved with them. That's how relationships work. Sometimes there's red flags right off the bat, but other times there's not. I don't personally buy the whole "God's plan thing." God didn't intend for people to go through life alone. From a scientific view, it's been proven unhealthy for people to spend life alone. Problem is dating and relationships are so difficult today that more and more people are alone, but even though I'm not religious, I doubt that's what God intended.
So you were publicly humiliated and cuckolded at work of all places, and you still refer to that chick as the love of your life? It sounds like you have severe self esteem problems, which attracts low quality mates. Of course you carried on with a married woman yourself so perhaps you have other issues to work on. In fact you may see yourself as having been through a long list of terrible women, but at the end of the day, YOU are the common denominator in each relationship.
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