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I am 35, single, no kids and I am really enjoying my life right now, I would say, 90% of my childhood friends are married and have kids.
Last Fri, I drove 3 hours to hook up with a friend in another state, we went to an electronic music concert, and we had a blast, we left the concert at 2 am, we hung out after and I drove back at 4 am, got here at 7 am.
Slept for a couple hours and went to a friends house for lunch and met some awesome people, I was so tired afterwards but this weekend was AMAZING! Essentially, I am doing some of the same "crazy things" I used to when I was 19 and I love it!
If I was married, obviously it would be impossible to do these things, but some of the thoughts that have been crossing my mind lately is that, I love this single lifestyle too much and maybe I don't want it to ever change!
Is it natural to feel this way at 35? I am more than convinced than doing what I want is what makes me happy but I wanted to hear some opinions
Location: Huntersville/Charlotte, NC and Washington, DC
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Repubocrat
I am 35, single, no kids and I am really enjoying my life right now, I would say, 90% of my childhood friends are married and have kids.
Last Fri, I drove 3 hours to hook up with a friend in another state, we went to an electronic music concert, and we had a blast, we left the concert at 2 am, we hung out after and I drove back at 4 am, got here at 7 am.
Slept for a couple hours and went to a friends house for lunch and met some awesome people, I was so tired afterwards but this weekend was AMAZING! Essentially, I am doing some of the same "crazy things" I used to when I was 19 and I love it!
If I was married, obviously it would be impossible to do these things, but some of the thoughts that have been crossing my mind lately is that, I love this single lifestyle too much and maybe I don't want it to ever change!
Is it natural to feel this way at 35? I am more than convinced than doing what I want is what makes me happy but I wanted to hear some opinions
If you're married, and it's impossible to do these things, then you're doing it wrong.
You're married, not dead.
Totally agree here.
Marriage doesn't have to be the "ball and chain" as some think. If one doesn't feel like they have freedom within their marriage, maybe they are married to the wrong person?
Let me guess: You met someone you liked, briefly dated, and then it didn't work out, so now you will come here and proclaim yet again that you love being single and don't need anyone.
Methinks though dost protest too much. It's like you're trying to convince yourself. You're 35. You shouldn't need anyone's input on this at this point. You should know yourself well enough to know what you want. If you were secure in your path, you wouldn't seek validation every few months.
Good grief. Admit that you are lonely and want love and a girlfriend already.
If you're married, and it's impossible to do these things, then you're doing it wrong.
You're married, not dead.
I agree! I'm not sure why some of the single people on here think that they will have no freedom, no fun, no life, etc. once they get married. Who are they planning on marrying that would make their life such a living hell? Why would they want to marry that kind of a person? Don't people realize that they have a CHOICE as to who they have relationships with? I would never have married someone that took away my freedom!
Oh yeah - to the OP - how on earth would WE know if YOU are happy? Can't you figure that out for yourself?
Is it natural to feel this way at 35? I am more than convinced than doing what I want is what makes me happy but I wanted to hear some opinions
Yep, for a man who "has his act together" being single in your mid 30s can be some of the best years in your life. I was dating like crazy, traveling everywhere, and living life freestyle during those years. You are peaking at that time but you will reach a point where you want share those great times with someone besides your buds. So be careful not to slide into your 40s too far without having the experience of getting married or having children. Because life is just better when you can create great memories with people who you love.
I think we need to be careful and not hide in denial when we say that we enjoy this kind of lifestyle. I was of the same mindset until I turned 31. I don't know what happened, but literally overnight I could not be single anymore. The other issue I had was lack of confidence. I needed to turn all that around, so I began to listen to talks from motivational speakers and finally got it in my head that things WILL change if you change the way you look at them. The important thing to know is that it's not where you are coming from that matters....but it's where you are going. Remember Waldo Ralph Emerson said..."Do the things you fear....and the death of fear is certain." If you fear rejection from women, then keep going up and getting rejected! The more you fail, the closer you get to succeeding. Eventually one will say Yes. The problem is that people stop at the first rejection and never get back up. A good baseball player can make it into the hall of fame if he gets a minimum of 2 hits out of 10 at bats in his lifetime. The law of averages...it's a numbers game. Not everyone can say no to you.
Now get out there and start talking to people. That's IF you don't want to be single forever...hehe.
I am not looking for validation, I was just wondering what other people think of people who don't conform to the norms, honestly, this is absolutely the lifestyle I have chosen and I don't see any logical reason to change it(yet)
Most single women my age, here in Iowa are desperate to get married and have kids, actually I broke up with my last girlfriend because her desire to get married and have another kid was beyond obsessive, a major turn off.
It seems like a lot of people who get married, simply give up on themselves, start to gain weight, don't have any personal goals and ambitions anymore and I could never settle for a life like that.
I am sure I may change my mind in 10-15 years but I just don't see any benefits in getting married at this point in my life.
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