Can someone seem TOO perfect for you? (dating, woman, love)
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Of course I don't know her, but if I have a silly celebrity crush it is on her. Her looks, personality.etc make her seem like the ideal woman, of course the reality might be different, and like everyone I'm sure she has her 'flaws.'
The thing is, even if I could wave a magic wand and make her mine, I wonder if she'd seem a bit TOO perfect. For instance, I'd put her up on this pedestal, so what if I was constantly disappointed? It's like I'm afraid that she won't seem quite so ravishing or something. I.e. you'd always be worried things won't live up the fairytale you have imagined in your mind. And what if you just don't get along? What if she's unsatisfied with your appearance. And also I'm she they'd receive a ton of attention from the opposite sex (and sometimes the same sex, not always good either). It would get kind of stressful having so many guys trying to get at your lady.
Of course it's hypothetical because I doubt I'll be in a relationship with somebody so ravishing and/or successful, but I'm wondering if you have thought about the same thing about a person you saw as perfect (physically, character.etc), someone you knew or a celeb, or even experienced it in real life.
Do you think that some people seem just TOO perfect that you think having a relationship with them might come with pitfalls, or the reality might not live up to the reality?
I think it is that she is Swedish, I knew a Swedish girl who seemed that way, like the most beautiful, wonderful, gentle kind thing ever. No noticeable flaws whatsoever, just killed you to see her. I figure there has got to be people like that on earth, why not in Sweden?
I just discovered this lovely, and of course absolutely gorgeous Finnish figure skater randomly on the internet, Kiira Korpi:
Of course I don't know her, but if I have a silly celebrity crush it is on her. Her looks, personality.etc make her seem like the ideal woman, of course the reality might be different, and like everyone I'm sure she has her 'flaws.'
The thing is, even if I could wave a magic wand and make her mine, I wonder if she'd seem a bit TOO perfect. For instance, I'd put her up on this pedestal, so what if I was constantly disappointed? It's like I'm afraid that she won't seem quite so ravishing or something. I.e. you'd always be worried things won't live up the fairytale you have imagined in your mind. And what if you just don't get along? What if she's unsatisfied with your appearance. And also I'm she they'd receive a ton of attention from the opposite sex (and sometimes the same sex, not always good either). It would get kind of stressful having so many guys trying to get at your lady.
Of course it's hypothetical because I doubt I'll be in a relationship with somebody so ravishing and/or successful, but I'm wondering if you have thought about the same thing about a person you saw as perfect (physically, character.etc), someone you knew or a celeb, or even experienced it in real life.
Do you think that some people seem just TOO perfect that you think having a relationship with them might come with pitfalls, or the reality might not live up to the reality?
This says something interesting to me, makes me think.
It lies less in the silliness (we ALL have them, mine are Amy Adams, Lynn Collins, Meredith Eaton-Gilden [don't care what anyone thinks, she's gorgeous] and She-Hulk) of celebrity crushes and more in something you said:
Putting her on a pedestal.
No one, and I mean NO ONE can maintain pedestal status, and to PUT someone on a pedestal is vastly different than admiring them or their accomplishments, having faith in them when the chips are down or wanting to get all snuggly with them.
A pedestal is above you, and not in that "reach-up-and-touch-it" way. It's above you, it's better than you by your own admission -- and that does NOT even remotely begin to foster the foundation for a relationship.
Now, don't get me wrong; I know you're questioning whether someone can be TOO perfect FOR you -- but think on this:
If they're on a pedestal, then are they actually for you? Or are they lofted, vaunted and untouchable, beyond YOUR mortal reach? Perhaps you are the party who placed them there BUT once you climb down to admire your pedestaled handiwork, they are no longer your equal but an object of your worship rather than a party to your devotion. We don't place things on pedestals so they can stand beside us; we place things on pedestals so we can look UP to them.
You have actively separated them from yourself. You can admire a statue, actually LOVE certain aspects and traits of it, the flow of art, the essence of beauty -- but you cannot LOVE the statue itself, nor will it ever love you back. It is a thing separate.
Whether we like to admit it or not, LOVE is a language of mutuality and exchange.
She (whoever she may be) has abilities beyond my own; but I also possess abilities she does not. We are not the SAME, but we are EQUALS.
The devotion that comes from love isn't worship, but acceptance of both inequalities and flaws, as well as reveling in all that is good which is brought and offered by the other party and quite possibly lacking in ourselves.
Can that be achieved via pedestal?
And if not, then it's not that someone is too perfect for you, but rather that you have set impossible standards for them and resent them for not living up to YOUR ideals and notions -- when those were never theirs in the first place. You resent them for a thing which they are NOT. By demanding that they be gods, you have denied them their beautiful, flawed humanity.
Of course I don't know her, but if I have a silly celebrity crush it is on her. Her looks, personality.etc make her seem like the ideal woman, of course the reality might be different, and like everyone I'm sure she has her 'flaws.'
The thing is, even if I could wave a magic wand and make her mine, I wonder if she'd seem a bit TOO perfect. For instance, I'd put her up on this pedestal, so what if I was constantly disappointed? It's like I'm afraid that she won't seem quite so ravishing or something. I.e. you'd always be worried things won't live up the fairytale you have imagined in your mind. And what if you just don't get along? What if she's unsatisfied with your appearance. And also I'm she they'd receive a ton of attention from the opposite sex (and sometimes the same sex, not always good either). It would get kind of stressful having so many guys trying to get at your lady.
Of course it's hypothetical because I doubt I'll be in a relationship with somebody so ravishing and/or successful, but I'm wondering if you have thought about the same thing about a person you saw as perfect (physically, character.etc), someone you knew or a celeb, or even experienced it in real life.
Do you think that some people seem just TOO perfect that you think having a relationship with them might come with pitfalls, or the reality might not live up to the reality?
Don't depend on a photo and "talking" with someone online to begin a good relationship. You need to get out more and meet other people. Often times what you see online can truly be something else and something you are not going to like. Yes, in the past when I was younger I had a very handsome lifeguard who was interested in me and we did date. I use to ask myself all the time why he got interested in me and not some of the other girls I use to see hanging out where he worked at the local park pool. I even overheard a conversation among a bunch of my schoolmates as to what he EVER saw in me. I wasn't all that bad..kind of chubby but not totally overweight to the point of obesity..very athletic, very little makeup and had a decent personality. We dated for quite a while until his parents decided we were too serious. Back in the "day" parents did have a say on your dating practices. Look, stop wondering about finding that perfect person; they don't exist. Get out more and make some REAL friends. Find yourself some kind of social loop to belong to and start having some FUN!!
Nobody is EVER perfect. Pedestals are always dangerous because the higher the pedestal and the harder the fall. I personally find that what makes humans interesting is all our little imperfections, foibles, idiosyncrasies, yes even those which drive you wild and can make you want to throw sharp objects about the room.
A meeting of the minds is one thing, being atuned to each other, sharing ideals,ideas and goals , having the same sense of humour or moral values, physical chemistry, all this is part of the mix of attraction, love and lust in my experience but I have yet to meet anyone even remotely on the side of perfection. I guarantee you no matter how fabulously sexy, funny, clever, charming, intellectual a person is as humans we are still made to hone in on the little things which jar ( and sometimes become big issues). I think it is human nature.
Celebrity crushes are harmless unless they take over and you decide that the fiction on the screen is better than the reality walking your streets. With celebrities, what you see is never what you get. I would go further and say this is true of all of us.
It is easy to dream of someone you have never met because they are so inaccessible and thus because of the remoteness safe. Try living with them for a month 24/7 and come back and tell me how enamoured you are of every single little thing about them ! ALL of us have some good, some bad and some truly ugly in us. It is what makes us human, interesting, original, unique and fascinating. We all have petty moments, we all have cowardly moments, we can all be total jerks at times and drive our other halves up the wall. Also beauty is never a constant.
The thing is, even if I could wave a magic wand and make her mine, I wonder if she'd seem a bit TOO perfect. For instance, I'd put her up on this pedestal, so what if I was constantly disappointed?
Do you think that some people seem just TOO perfect that you think having a relationship with them might come with pitfalls, or the reality might not live up to the reality?
No. Clearly this whole complex comes from inside your own head.
If people just saw each other as other human beings with good and bad sides and faults and talents, no one would have some stupid pedestal complex and no one would ever seem intimidating and people could just get about their lives without any of this drama.
In my opinion someone can seem too perfect for you and it doesn't live up to reality as often the image of perfection isn't based on what the person genuinely is like and the 'for you' often makes the person an object rather than a human being focusing on your desires overlooking that the other person has desires as well that may exclude you.
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Can someone seem too perfect?
