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I cut them out unless it is mutual. It has been my experience that when I end it, the guy still wants more and hopes for it. When the guy ends it I want more and hope for it and will not move on unless the guy is out of my life - even if we have mutual friends.
it completely depends on WHY they are my ex first and foremost.
obviously if it ended on a bad note because of something they did im not inclined to want them in my life at all.
thankfully practically all of my relationships have ended mutually and i was able to remain in touch without any lingering "romantic" or bitter feelings.
and that right there is the key thing to whether or not it is ok to remain friends or just break contact completely. unresolved or unfulfilled feelings. its next to impossible to have a pure friendship if you have any motivation but friendship left between the two. not only that its just plain not fair to string them along any longer if that is the reason they remain around in your life. its also not fair to any future partner you may have to accept the potential issues that may come out of keeping a person like that in your life.
I would not have anything to do with an ex. That doesn't mean I would be nasty to them or anything, I would just no longer have contact with them. You told her you were done and wanted to be single and she is cutting you lose, I don't think that is unusual.
I recently ended a relationship with my girlfriend of 3 months. In my past threads I mentioned a couple of things that she did that I really didn't appreciate. The break up was after a fight and we talked about it. I told her I wasn't feeling the relationship and that I preferred to be single. I really didn't dislike her and I wish her the best with everything in life. Anyway, she has now basically cut me from her life completely. I just don't understand why? I don't miss her like that, but I don't get why you would burn a bridge with your ex SOLELY because they are your ex. Am I the only one who feels this way?
I usually cut them out. There's a reason they are my 'Ex's'. I have tried to reconnect years later only to realize the reason they were my ex anyway...
Koale
Everything is situational. I have never stayed friends with ex boyfriends, I never felt there was a reason to ... if we had kids it would be a different story. If I see them out I would certainly say, "hello," but that's about it ...
.... not only that its just plain not fair to string them along any longer if that is the reason they remain around in your life. its also not fair to any future partner you may have to accept the potential issues that may come out of keeping a person like that in your life.
I wholeheartedly agree, both with the stringing them along notion, as well as the impact on a future partner.
My wife remains Facebook friends with an ex husband who, I believe, still thinks he has a chance with her. She initiates no contact, has removed him from her "news feed", but he 'likes' her posts at least once month. To me and any one of our mutual friends, it must seem like he reads her every word. As their relationship started with an affair, this makes me a tad uncomfortable.
At the risk of sounding like a control freak, this bugs me. Even though she doesn't initiate contact, she is passively allowing him a peek into her life regularly. This seems to be a case of "stringing him on."
In addition, keeping him on her friends list is seen by everyone else in he life, which makes me feel a bit awkward as our mutual friends are witness to any public interaction via wall posts/likes. Not quite the same as being a cukhold, but perhaps a modern electronic version of one.
She says that one keeps feelings for exes. I agree that I have some feelings for my own ex (some good, some sad)but don't feel it's fair to her to subject her to reminders of how happy I am now.
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well...
