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Location: The western periphery of Terra Australis
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Or does love follow a distant second to money/status and sex?
I constantly hear about 'deal breakers', women wanting this or that, or men being superficial - honestly, it sounds like most people don't follow their 'heart', but choose a partner like they'd choose an appliance, or an insurance policy or, at least, a new car.
There's the 'aesthetic' component, but it seems pretty shallow. Looks, money, status...It seems that 'true love' doesn't really factor into it, maybe just superficial 'crushes' which even now seem to factor into it less and less.
Historically have most partnerships really been held together by 'love' or has it been things like convenience, or family, or monetary gain? Why should it suddenly be any different because Hallmark makes it out to be so?
What's so special about the modern era that we're so 'enlightened' that we 'marry for love' instead of other reasons.
In other words, while marriages aren't arranged, they seem just as driven by money as they ever were. Indeed, the most romantic period of history seems to be over. Less ladies and gentleman, less courtship, less sentimentality, less commitment, more emphasis on physical gratification and selfishness.
I actually don't think anything has changed in thousands of years on this subject. Some people marry for love and love alone and some with other motives. People haven't changed and society hasn't either. As it states in the Bible, "There is nothing new under the sun".
Location: The western periphery of Terra Australis
24,544 posts, read 56,087,446 times
Reputation: 11862
Quote:
Originally Posted by BLAZER PROPHET
I actually don't think anything has changed in thousands of years on this subject. Some people marry for love and love alone and some with other motives. People haven't changed and society hasn't either. As it states in the Bible, "There is nothing new under the sun".
Pretty much. The whole idea that only now we marry for true love en masse is fairytale BS. I guess maybe I should grow cynical and toss the crock called 'love' out the window. What is love, really, but chemicals in the brain designed for a purpose.
Maybe she doesn't really love me, maybe it's just proteins or amino acids or neurons in her brain. So sex and love are both purely physical. Unless you believe love is in another dimension.
Love = sexual attraction + friendship.
If that's not the case, then it's not love, it's simply putting up with someone so as not to be lonely (aka what most couples do).
Marriage does not help because of all the legal benefits. Abolish marriage, or eliminate all legal benefits, and things will be better.
Capitalism / inflation is really the cause in the change of attitudes... it's more about social status and survial and keeping my standard of living so modern relantionships, especially amoug the youth is more business than anything else.
About togetherness, Support, Kindness, future, And as I have learned....Sharing. I was a lone island for FIVE years, With the exception of an occasional visitor that rowed back out to sea after a short visit. This island has 2 residents now.
Or does love follow a distant second to money/status and sex?
I constantly hear about 'deal breakers', women wanting this or that, or men being superficial - honestly, it sounds like most people don't follow their 'heart', but choose a partner like they'd choose an appliance, or an insurance policy or, at least, a new car.
This doesn't describe romance, it describes a business transaction. "Romance" and "love" are pretty synonymous. I'm thinking your question might be better worded: "Have we lost sight of romance in modern dating?" I haven't heard these terms "deal breaker", "bring to the table", etc. until joining C-D. No one I know, of any age group, thinks in these terms. It's sad that there seems to be so much of this around. Is it really that common, or is it more of a C-D phenomenon?
This doesn't describe romance, it describes a business transaction. "Romance" and "love" are pretty synonymous. I'm thinking your question might be better worded: "Have we lost sight of romance in modern dating?" I haven't heard these terms "deal breaker", "bring to the table", etc. until joining C-D. No one I know, of any age group, thinks in these terms. It's sad that there seems to be so much of this around. Is it really that common, or is it more of a C-D phenomenon?
It's not. People will disqualify each other for the most mundane reasons-Zip codes, Hairstyle, Taste in music and film and anything that bothers them about the person's past(This comes up a lot) which could include almost anything that makes them feel threatened in the present time.
Location: The western periphery of Terra Australis
24,544 posts, read 56,087,446 times
Reputation: 11862
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ruth4Truth
This doesn't describe romance, it describes a business transaction. "Romance" and "love" are pretty synonymous. I'm thinking your question might be better worded: "Have we lost sight of romance in modern dating?" I haven't heard these terms "deal breaker", "bring to the table", etc. until joining C-D. No one I know, of any age group, thinks in these terms. It's sad that there seems to be so much of this around. Is it really that common, or is it more of a C-D phenomenon?
Me either. If that's how dating is in the States it seems no better than reality TV.
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Love is...
