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Only to see what's out there & maybe go out on a date or two. Just get to know some people One thing I have noticed is that these women on these sites can afford to be much picker then us men. Like in the real world we don't stand much of a chance of getting noticed. I tend to end up saying something cheesy that in the real world would be found funny but here in cyberplace it's very different, and once you've sent that message that's it there is NO turning back. Even if you get those who it says you have a high match with. Then you'll get a few messages from someone who doesn't appeal to you & you feel like a heel if you don't respond to them...I'm confused about this online dating thingy, any pointers???
Send a brief message citing something they said in their profile that interested you - query them about it. Keep it short and light and ask one or two questions.
Be prepared for them not to respond and DON'T TAKE IT PERSONALLY. You have no idea what their reasons are.
You don't have to respond to everyone. However, if you do feel someone is really cool despite the fact that you do not consider them a match, it's not bad to send them a note to that effect. I've actually liked some of the polite rejections I've gotten that have cited certain things they appreciated in my profile because it's let me know what I'm doing right, lol.
Only to see what's out there & maybe go out on a date or two. Just get to know some people One thing I have noticed is that these women on these sites can afford to be much picker then us men. Like in the real world we don't stand much of a chance of getting noticed. I tend to end up saying something cheesy that in the real world would be found funny but here in cyberplace it's very different, and once you've sent that message that's it there is NO turning back. Even if you get those who it says you have a high match with. Then you'll get a few messages from someone who doesn't appeal to you & you feel like a heel if you don't respond to them...I'm confused about this online dating thingy, any pointers???
fyi, men are just as picky as women on those dating sites, they troll those sites and look at the pictures and then contact the women accordingly. I bet most of them don't even read the profiles.
Don't over-think it. Just message women you like and see if they respond. It's up to you if you want to give a "no thanks" response to women. Plenty of women didn't respond to my messages when I did online dating and I was survived.
fyi, men are just as picky as women on those dating sites, they troll those sites and look at the pictures and then contact the women accordingly. I bet most of them don't even read the profiles.
advice: read the profiles too. that's all.
Oh god, the most annoying thing is when a guy repeatedly asks me questions that are answered in my profile.
I've joined a dating site and all I see is desperate women and prowling men.
I got chatting to a guy who told me he was speaking to a woman he was keen on, for about 3 months. The conversations progressed to becoming a bit raunchy, and she told him her fantasy was meeting him for the first time while she was in the shower, and for him to creep up on her and join her.
Well he went to her house, up the hallway, dropped his clothes as instructed, opened the shower door...and wedged inside was a 500lb whale (he thought she was a size 16 - she lied).
I was amazed at her cunning - not many men would escape at this point, this guy said he ran (yeah right).
I laughed my head off...a cautionary tale....people lie on these sites, routinely. Be careful, take it all with a grain of salt, and make sure you meet in PUBLIC! There are some genuine people on there but they are few and far between.
Reed all I know is dating is super hard. And there are some really good women out there and men. You just have to ween through them. And ones that you don't want, just let them know nicely you are not interested. They can respond nice or ******y. I wish you the best of luck. Some have sucess with online dating some don't. Give it a try. If it's more problems then worth it then it's not for you. I had some very fun dates and some well interesting ones. Lol
Oh god, the most annoying thing is when a guy repeatedly asks me questions that are answered in my profile.
That is exactly what I was thinking! LOL. You know they haven't read it when they keep asking questions you already answered in it. Some man contact me once: "hi I don't know what all you like to do or whatever (it's in the profile), but I saw your picture, so wanna get together later on tonight...." Click.
I feel like the "read something in their profile and comment/ask a question about it" method is too popular. It's really all about being different from the rest of the pile.
I have had success just sending a one line email about their picture like "That's a weird hat you're wearing in that picture" or "What's the guy doing in the background of that one photo?"
Maybe I'll find something in their profile that we have in common, but instead of saying "hey, I noticed we both like ____, where do you _____ at? I try to _____ ...." I just say: "Snowboarder eh? I did a backflip off a jump once by accident!". You know, try to be funny, keep it LIGHT, nothing heavy, don't type any long emails. They're not worth your time at this point. You just want to get their attention and see if there's interest.
Maybe just tell them a funny story that you saw something weird on the train today. I told a girl once how I got pulled over twice in the same day for not having a license plate while I was ON MY WAY to go get new license plates. She thought it was funny and shared in my misery :-)
Also, don't ask "hey, you like sushi? Where's a good sushi place nearby I'm looking for a good place?" Then they'll just say "there's this place on X street" and not say anything else.
You could try what I call the "be a dick" method. It's where you say or comment on something in their profile with a sarcastic tone and somewhat rude manner like "that dress doesn't look very good on you". Or "you look like a hipster, do you really have a job?" They'll respond probalby with something mean back or to tell you what a jerk you are, but only if you're very good at doing this you can turn the conversation around and apologize that you were too harsh or you were just trying to be funny and it backfired. This has worked for me in the past, but typically the women it works on are dumb as nails. If you like your woman dumb (there's plenty of them on dating sites) then that's a good approach, but if you're looking for something more then this approach doesn't attract the 1% of quality women on the planet who aren't insecure and actually know what they want in life.
It's true that most won't email you back. That is fine. You'll learn to find out what woman are worth an email as there will be a lot of women who are not worth your time. Do not take the "email as many as you can and see what you get back" approach. They seem like they can be picky, but you should be too. Your value will only increase with time and there's a reason they're on a dating site...men that know them don't want to be with them....part of online dating is trying to figure out why. If you find the answer to that you've figured her out and you can decide if she's the right girl for you.
I was getting dates for my first four months straight. But I was dumped from a 2-month dating relationship, and haven't had a single damn date in the two months since. It's a pretty crappy time for that to happen considering I still feel really lousy and obsessive about her.
Anyway, when I message a girl I cite why them seem to be my type (philosophical, political, and theological similarities) and then ask them one or two questions about something in their profile. I often try to add a funny quip but not always; for instance, I told a girl wearing a GI Joe shirt in her photo, "By the way, it's nice to see you support a Real American Hero. " We dated for a while.
And yeah, the majority of girls won't respond at all. I tried being nice and responding to most of the girls that messaged me that I wasn't interested in, but now I rarely do unless they compliment my appearance or something. Then I just give a "Thank you!"
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" We dated for a while.
