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You sound a lot like me, man (based on some of the posts I've read....haven't read the whole thing though).
I'm 25, just getting out of a dysfunctional home life, and I get girls without really trying and with 0 confidence.
The only difference is that I'm actively seeking a relationship and getting destroyed. Well, I also did have one relationship that ended 5 years ago (and ended badly). Until very recently, I was running away from commitment, but, like I said, now I'm not and I'm getting my sh*t destroyed by girls.
Thus, I have no advice. Just letting you know that you have a brother in arms
In many cases, they were never interested to begin with. Friend zone is basically their way of saying, "Ewwwwww, don't touch me, don't even look at me."
What you want to do is be assertive. But don't be pushy.
You know this is a good question. I think the best thing I would do is talk with her. If she has a boyfriend, she will eventually refer to him. Otherwise, don't ask right away. There is a way to work it in. I probably wouldn't ask her the first time I meet her.
You probably could ask for her number. They might give the information at that point.
There really are no guarantees. Some women with boyfriends would still not let you know. (That would mean that there is something wrong either with her, the boyfriend or both).
All I can say is take it really slow.
During your initial conversation she will probably bring it up, if your unsure then simply ask her. Be clever about it though. Say something like "Your boyfriend doesn't mind you talking to other guys?" or you can say "hurry up and give me your number before your boyfriend comes back." Do it in a joking matter though.
During your initial conversation she will probably bring it up, if your unsure then simply ask her. Be clever about it though. Say something like "Your boyfriend doesn't mind you talking to other guys?" or you can say "hurry up and give me your number before your boyfriend comes back." Do it in a joking matter though.
That sounds good. You can be playful about the matter.
In many cases, they were never interested to begin with. Friend zone is basically their way of saying, "Ewwwwww, don't touch me, don't even look at me."
What you want to do is be assertive. But don't be pushy.
really, do you think that is how it is most of the time, the friend-zone is a gentle way of rejection?
Pretty much. At least 51% of the time. Especially to men who overplay their niceness. (Act too nice to the point of bringing out discomfort.
Of course, there are other reasons why women friend zone. (Not ready for a closer relationship). But typically, they are just letting the "friend" off easily.
A woman saying "Let's just be friends" is a lot like a guy saying "It's not you, it's me."
Can anyone relate, or am I a weirdo? (Please tell me that I'm a weirdo)
T, I believe anyone that is honest with themselves can and does relate. You are not a weirdo (sorry), but actually quite normal. The human psyche is very complex and has all sorts of pits to fall into if you allow it.
I once read a quote that I loved: (paraphrased)"My mind is a very scary place; I try not to go there alone." I cannot remember the author, but I could certainly relate.
As for relating... have you never had a friend? Whether you have, or not, a GF is just a friend, if she's worth calling a GF. If you cannot be a friend first, it's just wasting time. Don't be one of those callous, insensitives that use a woman only for her body. That would make my sincere effort here a sham, and I would be disappointed.
I am 100% certain that somewhere within eye contact distance from you right now, if you could see through walls or whatever, there is a woman that needs a friend. Why don't you try making a friend, first. That person might not ultimately become a GF, but it's a start and gives you more practice.
Keep making friends. Somewhere along the way, if you are sincere in your friendships and genuine in your caring, you will find yourself in the midst of caring women.
Then your problem will be in liking too many. We can have that conversation later.
I'm with you on insensitivity and callousness. I couldn't be that if I tried.
I agree with the quote that you paraphrased. My mind is a scary place. I did go there alone. I came back much more developed and mature.
The funny thing about liking too many women, is that it almost never is one woman that likes me, in a lot of cases I end up with at least 3 women that have some kind of interest in me.
It's a double edged sword. On one hand I like all of them, and at the same time, I only have room for one.
I suppose I could try to set them up with my friends.
well they say friendship behaviors is what lands guys in the friend-zone, and once your in the friend-zone, usually there is no way out of it
Sure, there is.
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