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Over and over again you keep explainging on this thread how the bars and clubs and your situation is different because "its a generational thing."
Honey, many of us go to the bars night after night. Many of us have been texting while you were in junior high. But now YOU are telling us about ettiquette?
You are the extreme minority here in thinking your behavior was not rude. Did you just expect to man bash, and all of CD would tell you what you want to hear about what a douche this guy was...
Again, both of you were rude. It is funny that you argue over and over about how 'we don't understand'.
We do understand, and some of us has been around the block so many times, we just stand at the corner and point out directions to people like you. Why even ask the question if you won't listen?
Your mind is already made up.
The honest truth is, your posts on this forum are reflecting of someone who is not very considerate of the people around you. Carrying on a texting conversation while actually physically talking to someone who spent money to try break the ice and converse with you is rude. it doesn't matter how old you are.
Pretty much. I stopped reading after this post, so maybe in the last 20+ pages somebody brought up accepting multiple rounds of drinks from men and then ignoring them when they want to talk to you. Buy your own drinks. Problem solved.
She posts for the attention, the same reason she had large breasts installed,(which in my opinion are too big for her body type), they will attract the "Guido" type like a magnet, then ignores them to text her "real" friends.
If by saying I put "great emphasis on looking attractive" and on getting "attention with my body" I like to do what I can to look my best and am willing to spend the time and money to make sure I look my best you're dead accurate. On the whole in general though, I'm pretty unassuming looking when I go out (despite always having a full face of makeup on), outfits meant for going out notwitstanding.
so you don't get a lot of male attention unless dress up??
To me anyone who uses a cell phone or smartphone whilst out in a confined public space is behaving antisocially and is being rude. When you are with people you should be with them 100% . Texting someone , emailing them, or talking to them whilst engaged in a real live interaction with other human beings is incredibly disrespectful and churlish IMO.
It implies you are so bored you need something else to distract you and cannot take even an evening away from your electronic gadgets to spend proper quality time with others in the flesh. It is one of my main pet peeves with modern society and I cannot believe people find it polite and acceptable. It also reeks of desperation, of you being so desperate to be liked and in contact with everyone that you cannot possibly spend an evening with only real human beings.
However the guy in the OP's post sounded a little extreme and rather aggressive which is also pretty bad and both were at fault. I would always take umbrage at anyone being too shallow or having too short an attention span to concentrate on a real dialogue but I would simply walk away and not start threatening people. That does sound pretty churlish too.
I just wish people would realise though how anti social and rude it is to impose your cell phone conversations on people you are supposed to be spending time with ( as well as perfect strangers standing by , the conversations usually taking place at high volume for some reason) , texts whatever.
It seems nowadays that nobody can simply have a good time without having their little gadgets switched on. There is no let up and I for one am utterly fed up and depressed at having to put up with them in restaurants, cinemas, theatres,concerts, clubs, etc...
How did we ever manage to have a vibrant social life twenty years ago ?!?! Oh wait a minute we did. We have never been so socially connected nor so socially inept and isolated in many ways. It is so sad and pathetic.
Unless you are an emergency worker and need to be contacted at all times ( and then you can switch it on to vibrate or silent) then switch the bloody thing off and enjoy real live human beings whilst they are around. All I see when I go out these days is couples with both partners engaged in different conversations/activities on their respective cell phones and friends who might as well not be in the same room together for the same reason.
If you can't enjoy an evening out with only the company of real flesh and blood around you then something has got to be wrong in my opinion.
And yes it probably is a generational thing but politeness and manners should not be something which vary with age.
I'm part of the same generation of the OP and concurr with the majority here. To call it a "generational thing" gives all of us a bad name. I can post for myself by writing, don't try to post for everyone.
I personally don't care to text message regularly. When I tried, I found that I was usually distracted with what was going on around me, and would forget to respond after a while. I text when I'm sending a quick message/short conversations, that would otherwise waste a phone call; or If I'm sending a message to multiple people at the same time. If I need to text back and forth more than twice, I'd rather call or speak to someone directly.
I was in the coffee shop with a couple friends yesterday, and the only time we brought out our cell phones was to exchange numbers (one friend had recently changed hers from moving). I'm not the most talkative person, but I prefer direct communication when I'm out with someone or a group of people.
If he was paying attention he would have noticed that you were constantly on your cell phone in a place where the whole point of going is to socialize with others. This would have told him that you are all about you and that he would have been well ahead of the game by paying you no mind whatsoever, let alone buying you a drink. So yes, he did make a mistake. Thats what you're asking right?
I haven't read the other replies but here's my take. When you allow men to buy you drinks, they feel you are obligated to them to provide something in return, attention mainly. I would be a bit more judicious about who buys you drinks and how many. Standing up and saying "ok, it's my shout now" lets men know you are not going to use them and you're not there simply for their pleasure and amusement. You take some of that power back and they treat you better.
OP I mentioned this 20 pages back but it's worth repeating. You're allowing a power imbalance in your dealings with men. It doesn't mean you can't accept drinks but it has to be a two way thing.
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