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I can accept the porn if it wasn't so secretive.. Lying & hiding.. I'm more concerned now that his lies about the porn & the other sites is more there.
He lies because he knows he is going to "get in trouble" from you for watching it. You are OK with it as long as he only watches it with you? Give me a break. You are not his mother and he is not some adolescent. Even then, it would not be your business.
There is nothing wrong with watching porn. Most guys do it.
The problem is you. Your attitude is what makes him think he has to hide it and lie about it.
You are OK with it as long as he only watches it with you? Give me a break. You are not his mother and he is not some adolescent. Even then, it would not be your business.
There is nothing wrong with watching porn. Most guys do it.
I agree there is nothing wrong with porn - or watching it. But there the agreement ends I fear. Because there is ALSO nothing wrong with wanting to be in a relationship where porn is outside the boundaries. And there is nothing wrong with a woman - or a man - wanting their partner to not watch it - or at least not watch it without them.
There is no written in stone laws on what boundaries and conditions a relationship should have. Only the people IN the relationship can decide that. If she does not want a relationship with a man who watches porn without her - that is entirely her prerogative and nothing is wrong with that.
It is up to the partner in such a situation to decide A) Ok that is fine with me - I will stop using porn or B) I am not OK with this condition and therefore this relationship is not for me or C) Is there some middle ground or compromise that can be reached with my partner for this relationship to continue?
But certainly telling any man or woman that "There is nothing wrong with it - everyone does it - so just get over it and leave it alone - it is not your business" is not useful advice. It very much is their business.
The problem with porn is that it's wrong. Its really that black and white. He's not using his wife for what she is designed for. Porn is symptom of a bigger problem and its cheating her out of the intimacy she deserves. There is a reason a man is not supposed to have sex with himself. Its a substitute and it has the power to destroy this marriage. Addictions always get deeper. This one will too.
[quote=Sugar256;43668511He's not using his wife for what she is designed for.[/quote]
What was his wife designed for? This almost makes it sound like relationships are robotic. You design the robot just right and the relationship works according to that design.
The problem with porn is that it's wrong. Its really that black and white. He's not using his wife for what she is designed for. Porn is symptom of a bigger problem and its cheating her out of the intimacy she deserves. There is a reason a man is not supposed to have sex with himself. Its a substitute and it has the power to destroy this marriage. Addictions always get deeper. This one will too.
Don't project your issues onto everyone else. Porn in and of itself isn't destructive, especially when both parties are comfortable with it.
The problem with porn is that it's wrong. Its really that black and white. He's not using his wife for what she is designed for. Porn is symptom of a bigger problem and its cheating her out of the intimacy she deserves. There is a reason a man is not supposed to have sex with himself. Its a substitute and it has the power to destroy this marriage. Addictions always get deeper. This one will too.
Wow.. oh wow...
I see a deeper issue here and not with the men that watch porn. There is nothing inherently wrong with porn. It doesn't necessarily mean a symptom of a bigger problem. It is not cheating if the couple is ok with it. Both men and women masturbate. A couple/individual can enjoy porn and still be intimate with their partner.
Oh um... "wife is designed?"
Oh yes... just realized this is related to your other thread started. You didn't need to dig up this thread to discuss it.
I can accept the porn if it wasn't so secretive.. Lying & hiding.. I'm more concerned now that his lies about the porn & the other sites is more there.
I bet the part that sucks the most is not being comfortable enough with your spouse to be honest.
The lying is the worst part of this whole thing as was already mentioned.
It's obvious his love for porn exceeds his love for you.
Once a guy confesses everything changes. It's not like exposure will make things better. In a woman's mind he is now ALWAYS going to be viewed as guilty.
Late coming home from work = cheating
Staying up when spouse goes to bed = up watching porn.
It's a tough line.
Porn can be like a drug. He needs treatment.
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