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Do you think it is because you go for women who are Out of your League? Or do you just have trouble getting women, period?
I'm a decent looking guy, i work out a lot and am in good shape, but i'm no movie star or model. When i was younger, i used to go for very pretty women. I got shot down left and right, but i guess that is to be expected when you go for gorgeous women all the time.
These days, i go after average looking women, with less-than-perfect bodies. I don't even bother approaching the prettier-than-average women anymore. I still get shot down all the time, but it's not because the women i pursue are out of my league.
So what about the rest of you who get shot down a lot... do you have trouble getting the ladies because you go after above-average looking women? Or do you just have trouble with ladies regardless of their looks?
Location: Huntersville/Charlotte, NC and Washington, DC
26,701 posts, read 41,775,771 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by lpfan921
Do you think it is because you go for women who are Out of your League? Or do you just have trouble getting women, period?
I'm a decent looking guy, i work out a lot and am in good shape, but i'm no movie star or model. When i was younger, i used to go for very pretty women. I got shot down left and right, but i guess that is to be expected when you go for gorgeous women all the time.
These days, i go after average looking women, with less-than-perfect bodies. I don't even bother approaching the prettier-than-average women anymore. I still get shot down all the time, but it's not because the women i pursue are out of my league.
So what about the rest of you who get shot down a lot... do you have trouble getting the ladies because you go after above-average looking women? Or do you just have trouble with ladies regardless of their looks?
I'll settle for breathing female at this point. I haven't gotten close.
There is no such thing as someone out of your league. As a guy, you should always go for the woman you find most attractive. If you think someone is out of your league or to good for you, it means you lack confidence and have major insecurities, which is a complete turn off and will make you fail with women, period. Approaching the most attractive woman in any environment, is a win win situation for guys, becasue it says that you value yourself and are confident. Even if she ends up rejecting you and you take it in stride, your chances with other women who are around are now much better, becasue you demonstrated that you think hihgly of yourself. It works like a charm.
There is no such thing as someone out of your league. As a guy, you should always go for the woman you find most attractive. If you think someone is out of your league or to good for you, it means you lack confidence and have major insecurities, which is a complete turn off and will make you fail with women, period. Approaching the most attractive woman in any environment, is a win win situation for guys, becasue it says that you value yourself and are confident. Even if she ends up rejecting you and you take it in stride, your chances with other women who are around are now much better, becasue you demonstrated that you think hihgly of yourself. It works like a charm.
No offense, but that is total bull. Every girl is out of my league and I don't pretend like it ain't true. Some guys like myself are just undesirable to women and no matter what we do we will never get any girl.
No offense, but that is total bull. Every girl is out of my league and I don't pretend like it ain't true. Some guys like myself are just undesirable to women and no matter what we do we will never get any girl.
So, you say that my statement is bull, but your statement that any girl is out of your league is true? Ok, dude...lol
Do you think it is because you go for women who are Out of your League? Or do you just have trouble getting women, period?
I'm a decent looking guy, i work out a lot and am in good shape, but i'm no movie star or model. When i was younger, i used to go for very pretty women. I got shot down left and right, but i guess that is to be expected when you go for gorgeous women all the time.
These days, i go after average looking women, with less-than-perfect bodies. I don't even bother approaching the prettier-than-average women anymore. I still get shot down all the time, but it's not because the women i pursue are out of my league.
So what about the rest of you who get shot down a lot... do you have trouble getting the ladies because you go after above-average looking women? Or do you just have trouble with ladies regardless of their looks?
I think that if a guy has any clue what he is doing (doesn't use cheesy pick up lines, and actually is interested in an actual relationship; read not just sex) has his stuff together (job, car, lives on his own) and still gets shot down a lot. Then he is probably not as good looking as he thinks he is, and is trying to get girlfriends by cold approaching woman that are out of his league in the looks department.
I used to get shot down left and right at the bars, or even at social functions.
One thing I learned was that if I could become friends with women that were out of my league looks wise, I could usually end up dating them, but only AFTER I was friend zoned. These women I usually meet through friends. I can't honestly recall off the top of my head a woman friend that I made at the bar. Some of my guy friends do this all the time. I have learned that this is something that I can not execute well, so I don't try too much to meet women at the bar anymore. If it happens, cool. But I dont get all guido'ed out and make it a mission to 'pick up a woman' when I go to the bar, or party.
The frustrating part is, sometimes when I am at the bar, and I approach a woman that is of average attractive level, and I get shot down still. That is when the ego takes a hard hit. (and this happens a lot as well)
At that point I will probably not engage in any chit chat with any random for the rest of the night. I will just enjoy the night with the company of people that I arrived at the bar/party with.
I now know that I will never be one of the guys that gets girlfriends easily, and women almost never persue me.
With that in mind, I know the level of effort and work required for me to get a girlfriend, and i am probably more selective than I should be.... but... and this is a big BUT, the reason I am still selective is because I need to be careful the wrong woman doesnt't take advantage of my effort into a relationship. The wrong woman will use me if I let them. And unfortunately, my last relationship used me pretty badly, and I allowed it. My insticts were screaming at me the whole time, and I was a stressed out mess. I wanted to push my own limits, and I did, but things did not work out for me in the end. I lived.... I already knew, so I didnt necessarily learn, but I did learn that I CAN trust myself and my instincts.
Also, I think it is a pure numbers game. I figure, if I try to meet enough women, eventually one of them will have an interest in me. The challenge is whether or not my ego can handle repeated rejection that night before I find the woman interested in ME.
There is no such thing as someone out of your league. As a guy, you should always go for the woman you find most attractive. If you think someone is out of your league or to good for you, it means you lack confidence and have major insecurities, which is a complete turn off and will make you fail with women, period. Approaching the most attractive woman in any environment, is a win win situation for guys, becasue it says that you value yourself and are confident. Even if she ends up rejecting you and you take it in stride, your chances with other women who are around are now much better, becasue you demonstrated that you think hihgly of yourself. It works like a charm.
This is sage-like wisdom. This poster is the only one on here that gives consistently good advice.
I'm a woman, and your post intrigues me. Can I come in? lol What kind of approach are you using that gets you shot down all the time?
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I haven't gotten close.
