Starting to Think It's Me (dating, men, younger, sex)
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I posted on here some months back that I met this guy (Raymond) at the end of June. We have been dating since July. He's cool, fun to hang out with but nothing I have thought of too seriously. It's been a busy summer, but with the exception of 1 week we normally talk/text almost daily. Well this weekend he ends up staying over Saturday and went home Sunday night. I thought we had a really nice fun weekend. I can honestly say I liked him a lot more after this weekend. Well Monday morning he had a job interview so I sent him a text and wishing him well and never heard a thing back. I find it strange that it's almost Thursday and he still never responded.
Okay, well back in July my friend decides she wants to hook me up with this guy (Dylan) that lives in her complex. She describes him to me and I realize that I think I may know him (well kind of). He works at a store I used to go to a lot. When we exchanged pics were definitely recognized each other. Since then we have only gone out once. He did ask a couple of other times, but I just had a lot going on. Whenever I would suggest something else he couldn't, wouldn't whatever. I hadn't heard from him in a couple days so I texted him last Friday and never heard a word back.............
This guy (Jared) I went to high school with contacted me some months back on FB. We have talked off and on since, but never got together. Well he asked me out for drinks the Friday before last and I told him I couldn't and haven't heard from him since.
I'm starting to think I am the problem. Why do I keep getting ditched? It just makes me sad that I am letting these guys make me question myself. For the past few days 10 million things I have been going through my head. Is it possible to not take stuff like this personally? If it was one guy I would say it was them, but 3 guys in a matter of a couple weeks. Maybe I am just being put on the back burner in case something better comes along
While I can respect and appreciate the doubts you're having about yourself as dating material; from your posting I can't pick up on anything that would have driven guys away.
Raymond: since his "disappearance" began after you guys spent most of the weekend together, perhaps he got cold feet thinking you may want some type of commitment from him and he's not ready for that.
Dylan: that situation sounds to me as though both of you had other events going on and that it was difficult for the two of you to find the best time to date.
Jared: maybe he has a difficult time with rejection and since you were not available to go out with him that one time, he felt you were shunning him.
Other than Raymond, it appears the other guys were trying to work out something for a date.
None of us are mind readers and we can easily become paranoid if we attempt to figure out what other people are thinking, or why they do, or don't do things.
Dating can sure be a pill at times - trying to find someone who is in tune with you; someone you enjoy being with; makes you feel good about yourself; and shares common interests and beliefs.
Don't give up!
Quote:
Originally Posted by caesarsgirl79
I posted on here some months back that I met this guy (Raymond) at the end of June. We have been dating since July. He's cool, fun to hang out with but nothing I have thought of too seriously. It's been a busy summer, but with the exception of 1 week we normally talk/text almost daily. Well this weekend he ends up staying over Saturday and went home Sunday night. I thought we had a really nice fun weekend. I can honestly say I liked him a lot more after this weekend. Well Monday morning he had a job interview so I sent him a text and wishing him well and never heard a thing back. I find it strange that it's almost Thursday and he still never responded.
Okay, well back in July my friend decides she wants to hook me up with this guy (Dylan) that lives in her complex. She describes him to me and I realize that I think I may know him (well kind of). He works at a store I used to go to a lot. When we exchanged pics were definitely recognized each other. Since then we have only gone out once. He did ask a couple of other times, but I just had a lot going on. Whenever I would suggest something else he couldn't, wouldn't whatever. I hadn't heard from him in a couple days so I texted him last Friday and never heard a word back.............
This guy (Jared) I went to high school with contacted me some months back on FB. We have talked off and on since, but never got together. Well he asked me out for drinks the Friday before last and I told him I couldn't and haven't heard from him since.
I'm starting to think I am the problem. Why do I keep getting ditched? It just makes me sad that I am letting these guys make me question myself. For the past few days 10 million things I have been going through my head. Is it possible to not take stuff like this personally? If it was one guy I would say it was them, but 3 guys in a matter of a couple weeks. Maybe I am just being put on the back burner in case something better comes along
While I can respect and appreciate the doubts you're having about yourself as dating material; from your posting I can't pick up on anything that would have driven guys away.
Raymond: since his "disappearance" began after you guys spent most of the weekend together, perhaps he got cold feet thinking you may want some type of commitment from him and he's not ready for that.
Dylan: that situation sounds to me as though both of you had other events going on and that it was difficult for the two of you to find the best time to date.
Jared: maybe he has a difficult time with rejection and since you were not available to go out with him that one time, he felt you were shunning him.
Other than Raymond, it appears the other guys were trying to work out something for a date.
None of us are mind readers and we can easily become paranoid if we attempt to figure out what other people are thinking, or why they do, or don't do things.
Dating can sure be a pill at times - trying to find someone who is in tune with you; someone you enjoy being with; makes you feel good about yourself; and shares common interests and beliefs.
Don't give up!
You are right...It definitely can be a pill.
Raymond is a bit younger than me. Maybe he did feel like that. I definitely wasn't trying to give him that impression.
No, I really wasn't thinking that at all. I was actually overall feeling positive. It wasn't until Monday afternoon that I started thinking that's strange I haven't heard anything back from Raymond. I was kind of annoyed about Dylan, but I was like whatever...After Monday, I noticed that this has become a pattern.
I wish I had more details or he could be an adult and say this is what went wrong. Then I could actually be like either he's an idiot or I have some issues.
It I don't ever heard anything back, is it worth contacting him again to see what the deal is?
Hey! What the F are you complaining about? You have 3 men that you're playing off of one another and you're b*tching bc they haven't returned your texts. Have you thought for a moment that the way you come off to these guys is a manner in which they've learned that they don't really need to be serious with you or respect you?
I mean, you let Ray smash your box even though you're ambivalent about him. You then turn around and call Jim or Joey or whatever his name is. You two setup a date but then he fades on you. Then the third guy fades. Think about how you present yourself to these men and you may find your answer as to why they behave a certain way with you. It's like they know that it's acceptable behavior with you. Why do people do what they do? Bc they can.
Hey! What the F are you complaining about? You have 3 men that you're playing off of one another and you're b*tching bc they haven't returned your texts. Have you thought for a moment that the way you come off to these guys is a manner in which they've learned that they don't really need to be serious with you or respect you?
I mean, you let Ray smash your box even though you're ambivalent about him. You then turn around and call Jim or Joey or whatever his name is. You two setup a date but then he fades on you. Then the third guy fades. Think about how you present yourself to these men and you may find your answer as to why they behave a certain way with you. It's like they know that it's acceptable behavior with you. Why do people do what they do? Bc they can.
I am not committed to anyone. They can date who ever they want to date. How am I playing them off each other? I really don't see what the issue is. I didn't know it wasn't acceptable to date more than one person at a time????
Ray: There was no smashing. I did not have sex with Ray.
Dylan: So, I wasn't supposed to go out with him and I had known Ray for maybe 2 weeks?
Jared: We have mutual friends and I know for a fact he's dating other people. We haven't even gone out ourselves.
The only thing I agree with that you said is that People what they do because they can.
Hey! What the F are you complaining about? You have 3 men that you're playing off of one another and you're b*tching bc they haven't returned your texts. Have you thought for a moment that the way you come off to these guys is a manner in which they've learned that they don't really need to be serious with you or respect you?
I tend to agree.
And this is why casually dating multiple people at once usually backfires.
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